Term of the Day: 11 o'clock number

11 o'clock number--a brassy, solo number by the star of the show or a main character before the finale, often reiterating the themes of the show. Some examples are "Rose's Turn" from "Gypsy," sung by Mama Rose, or "Let Them Hear You," sung by the doomed Coalhouse Walker in"Ragtime." It is supposed to be a memorable song that audience members will remember as they walk out of the theater.

Term of the Day: the flow

the flow--interest on the advance sale of tickets. A producer term. In the case of a $12 million advance like Phantom had in 1989, the interest could be substantial. Sometimes it is split between the theater owners and the producers.

Jaundiced Term of the Night: "Might as well throw the money onstage and burn it."

"Might as well throw the money onstage and burn it"--During those insane moments during production, when the producers are desperate to save a show, new pieces of scenery will be built by the shop on double time, dance numbers will be deconstructed and redone and the lighting and automation will be adjusted, incurring much overtime in the theater. Sometimes these drastic changes don't amount to much, thus the line, "Might as well throw the money onstage and burn it."

Term of the Day: must be a tax shelter

"must be a tax shelter"--when a show comes into a theater in such bad shape, that survival is unlikely, a stagehand can mutter the cynical line, "Must be a tax shelter," meaning the producers know they have a dud on their hands and there is a tax benefit from failure. Also: "Must be a tax write off."

Terms of Trouble

Here are a few terms of trouble:

break your shovel--you're done here. "You have broken your shovel at this theater."
"Dead Man walking"--stagehand doing last night at a show, after he or she has been fired. (Taken from the old death-row cry when a condemned man walks to the execution cell.)
On a short leash--when a stagehand or a head has gotten in trouble before, management is keeping a close eye on him or her.
Slapped on the pee pee--when you get bitched out by the head or stage management for an error or breach of theater etiquette. "The men on the rail got slapped on the pee pee for repeatedly talking loud during a quiet scene, which jarred the star."
"Take a picture"--you'll never see this place again.
working my last good nerve--when you are annoying someone, particularly the head. (Term favored by the late Sal Sclafani, head prop man at the Hirschfeld.)

Scatological Term of the Moment: a shitstorm

a shitstorm--chaotic, unpleasant situation. Usually dangerous, unexpected trouble. "When the soundman turned off the com system and left after his last cue, it was a shitstorm for the last 20 minutes of the show, with no headset communication between the SMs and automation."

Term of the Day: bum steer

bum steer--false information, may be intentionally misleading. "The stagehand gave me a bum steer telling me the wrong dates for the load in, so I wouldn't shape on the first day."

Sarcastic Response of the Night: "I'm like a coiled spring"

"I'm like a coiled spring"--when the boss asks you if you ready to do something, "I'm like a coiled spring, ready to spring into action."

Overheard Stagehand Conversation #5: "He's fucking nuts."

In the TV soap opera studios, there was a stagehand with long hair who would wear a hairnet during the changeovers.

STAGEHAND: "Why does John always wear a hairnet when we flip the sets?"
CREW CHIEF(a tough but kind old Westie, who puts a fake contemplative look on his face at the question): "That's a good question. It keeps his hair clean and keeps it out of his face. And he's fucking nuts."

Line of the Day: "Sometimes you choose your rabbi, sometimes your rabbi chooses you"

"Sometimes you choose your rabbi, sometimes your rabbi chooses you."-- the unpredictable nature of mentor relationships.

Overheard Stagehand Conversation #4: " I did my schooling at the Metropolitan Opera."

Stagehand #1: "Where did you go to college?"
Stagehand #2: "I did my schooling at the Metropolitan Opera."

Term of the Moment: an angel

an angel--a Broadway investor. Sometimes a shrewd investor, sometimes a sucker, depending on the show. Also a Broadway angel.

Term of the Night: flimflam

flimflam--scam, confidence game. "It makes my heart swell when I see the three-card monte players on the street again. It is a bit of the old Broadway flimflam coming back to life." "Fake tickets are rampant now and are the new Broadway flimflam."

Ghosts of Broadway Past: The Polish Tea Room

Polish Tea Room--The Cafe Edison, closed by the greedy landlords of the Edison Hotel at the end of 2014. Famous for its mixed clientele, including stagehands, producers and playwrights. Neil Simon used to eat there. Its matzoh ball soup was famous. The name is a satire of the high-end Russian Tea Room, where the Polish Tea Room was more low brow.  Neil Simon's 2001 play "45 Seconds from Broadway" was completely set at the Polish Tea Room.

Term of the Moment: good soldier

good soldier--follows orders, keeps mouth shut, does his/her work as fast as he/she can. "I want to recommend a guy to you...he's a good soldier."

Famous Stagehands I Have Known: Sybil

Sybil--house head known for her nastiness, her erratic dancing offstage and possible multiple personalities. Frank Langella got her fired more than a decade ago. Eight versions of that firing story exist.

Non-Yiddish Term of the Night: moxie

moxie--guts, pushiness, persistence in the face of rejection. "The young dancer had the moxie to come backstage and introduce herself to the choreographer during tech." Amazing etymology...I always thought it was a Yiddish word, but it was the name of a bitter soft-drink popular in the 1930s. The word itself is believed to come from a Native American tribe from Maine, whose meaning is "dark water."

Term of the Day: old rummy

old rummy--long-term, hard drinker, an alcoholic.

Overheard Stagehand Conversation #3: "Why are your your nail boxes pink?"

Young Stagehand to crusty, old Shop Mechanic at the now defunct Lincoln Scenic:  "Why are your nail boxes on top of your workbox pink?"
Crusty Old Mechanic: "They match my undies."

Stagehand v. Yuppie Woman

Stagehand v. Yuppie Woman--a carpenter friend of mine was rehashing a piece of scenery outside a Broadway theater one Saturday morning during a load in. An irate yuppie woman, a resident of one of those new condos or high-end rentals on 8th Avenue, came up. He turned off the Sawzall. She started yelling, "It's 9 a.m. Saturday morning. You can't be making this noise!" My friend said, "Lady, you moved into the Theater District," turned the Sawzall back on and went back to cutting.

Historical Quote of the Day: "The first time I hung out with my father, I was on his payroll."

"The first time I hung out with my father, I was on his payroll"--said by a second-generation stagehand of his old-school Broadway head father. The father is deceased now, the son is retired.

Term of the Moment: iPhone perv

iPhone perv--a middle-aged stage manager was fired for trying to record a quick change on his iPhone. The phone was found positioned in a QC booth with the camera on while an actress was changing. The same thing happened at "Memphis," where the creep was fired. The ease of modern technology lets the freaks be themselves.

Term of the Moment: legacy stagehand

legacy stagehand-- stagehand from a multigenerational stagehand family. Also: generational stagehand

Overheard Stagehand Conversation #2

Young stagehand: "When is a good time to open my mouth?"
Old stagehand: "Never."

Overheard Stagehand Conversation #1

Young Stagehand at a Load In: "I can build, I can rig. Where do you want me?"
Carpenter: "That's great. Get on the back of the fucking truck."

Term of the Moment: Jesus wrench

Jesus wrench--cross-shaped wrench used by old timers to tighten down lighting units.

Term of Neutrality: no dog in that fight

no dog in that fight--when two stagehands are warring in a theater, it is often good to stay out of the battle, to not take sides. "Those guys may hate each other, but I don't have a dog in that fight."

Gang Term of the Moment: hatchet man

hatchet man--person responsible for firing. There is a great etymology on this one--In New York's Chinatown early in the 20th century, there were hired killers who would run around with hatchets. During big wars between the Tongs, or Chinese gangs, multiple bodies would be found hacked to death.