Term of the Night: Broadway ADD

Broadway ADD--the recent pervasiveness of short musicals and plays, such as "The Band's Visit" (95 minutes) and "Meteor Shower"(66 minutes). Twenty years ago, most musicals were up to 2:45 or even 2:55 in length.

Term of the Day: a head turner

a head turner--an attractive person. "The new dancer was a real head turner."

Term of the day: macher

macher--(Yiddish) leader, high-powered boss who gets things done. "That head is a real macher. He gets things done with management."

Term of the Day: spike the locks

spike the locks--to jam wood (i.e. toothpicks) in the mechanism of a lock, spitefully destroying it.

Term of the Day: dumpster fire

dumpster fire--out of control or badly handled situation.

Term of the Day: Fifty-one Percent Rule

Fifty-one Percent Rule--When a Local 802 musician gets a job on a show, by contract he or she is required to work at least 51 percent of the shows. Sometimes the pit will be packed with subs, making for a musically chaotic show.

Musician Term of the Day: doubler monkey

doubler monkey-- young, hungry musician, new to town and willing to sub. A doubler for musicians is someone who is playing more than two instruments.

Term of the Day: show widow, show widower

show widow, show widower--wife, husband or partner of an actor or stagehand working on a Broadway production.

Term of the Day: "Do you want a gold star?"

"Do you want a gold star?"-- sarcastic line when a stagehand is boasting of a repair he or she made, or how great a project turned out. Or: "I am out of gold stars."

Term of the Day: "somebody needs a hug"

"somebody needs a hug"-- sarcastic line to use when somebody is complaining vehemently. It can break the mood.

Overheard Stagehand Line #28: "I liked the guy, but I had to fire him..."

"I liked the guy, but I had to fire him.  Sometimes you've just got to put a rabid dog down."

Term of the Day: carry it surfboard style

carry it surfboard style-- when carrying a long, rectangular item that is narrow, like a dressing room counter, it is sometimes helps for two stagehands to carry it surfboard style.

Famous Stagehands in History #2: Barrymore Theatre Carpenter, 1949

In 1949, Marlon Brando was the toast of Broadway in Tennessee Williams' "A Streetcar Named Desire" at the Barrymore Theatre. Now Brando fancied himself a boxer. The head carpenter of the Barrymore, whose name I have not found, really was a boxer. The men would spar in the boiler room at the Barrymore, and finally the carpenter broke Brando's nose, damaging his pretty-boy looks. Brando did not have his nose repaired. This story was in his memoir "Songs My Mother Taught Me."

Stagehands I Have Known #2: The Man from Paco Rabonne

The Man from Paco Rabonne--mean old carpenter who wore too much cheap cologne. Now retired.

Term of the Day--the let in

the let in--when the audience is loaded into a theater

Term of the Day: "somebody's got a tax shelter"

"somebody's got a tax shelter"--when the producers are spending money hand over fist on a show that is destined to bomb, some wag might say,  "Somebody's got a tax shelter."

Overheard Stagehand Line #18: "You can make a lot of money and be miserable..."

"You can make a lot of money and be miserable, or you can make a lot of money and be happy. It's your choice."

Term of the Day: showmance

showmance (n.)--when two company members, be they cast, crew or musicians, become romantically and/or physically involved. Often happens on long-running shows. Sometimes it's the stars, like Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson on "Anna Christie."

Term of the Day: short shelf life

short shelf life--dancers and ingenues don't often last very long on Broadway.

Term of the Day: spitty

spitty(adj.)--an actor who spits a lot when he or she enunciates their lines

Term of the Day: take a punch

take a punch--able to handle difficult bosses. "I can take a punch, I can handle difficult bosses." "He picks on you because he knows you can take a punch."

Term of the Day: garden-variety asshole

garden-variety asshole--difficult stagehand with no power.

Overheard Stagehand Line #22: Calling him a drunk..."

"Calling him a drunk is probably the nicest thing I can say about him."

Term of the Day: panties in a twist

panties in a twist--actor hissy fit

Overheard Stagehand Line #21: "Remember who butters your bread"

Head to an Extra Man: "Remember who butters your bread"...give me the loyalty I deserve, for I hire you.

Term of the Day: alta kaka

alta kaka--old timer, old person. (Yiddish) Can be used to refer to the blue-hair matinee patrons or old stagehands. "The carpenter is an alta kaka...he was in Local #1 before we had an annuity."

Term of the Night: "My rabbi just got his own synagogue"

"My rabbi just got his own synagogue"--When your rabbi becomes the head of a theater, gets a head's job.

Term of the Day: collateral damage

collateral damage--unintended victims. "When the head was fired and replaced, his regular stagehands never worked in that theater again. They were collateral damage to regime change."

Term of the Day: to bitch someone

to bitch someone--to savage a person behind their back

Term of the Day: the Local #1 hustle

 the Local #1 hustle--working two of three jobs to make a very healthy income...subbing on Broadway, working TV, doing industrials or working at heavy-duty action places like the Garden. In the end of the year, you turn in 25 W-2s to your accountant.

Term of the Day: "Take a break, we've got it covered"

"Take a break, we've got it covered"--sarcastic line when a stagehand takes a phonecall on his/her cell phone while others are working hard.

Term of the Day: deaf and dumb (D & D)

deaf and dumb (D & D)-- an old longshoreman's term. "He's deaf and dumb, he didn't hear anything and can't say anything about it."

Term of the Day: survival job

survival job--job that an actor has to pay the rent while auditioning for acting roles on Broadway and elsewhere. Survival jobs are often ones that have flexibility to allow an actor go to auditions and callbacks, like restaurant work, personal training and temping.

Term of the Day: second banana

second banana--a comedian in a vaudeville or burlesque theater who plays a secondary role. An actor who plays a secondary role to the leading man. A sidekick. "Tony Roberts has had a brilliant career playing second bananas, to Woody Allen in 'Annie Hall' and Al Pacino in 'Serpico.'"

Term of the Day: make a federal offense out of something

make a federal offense out of something--when a boss overreacts and makes a big issue out of a small mistake. "You are making a federal offense out of this small mistake." Sometimes, it is gathering offenses to force a stagehand out.

Term of the Day: Who's your hook?

Who's your hook?--who is your mentor, who got you into this theater for work? "Charlie Rosen was my first hook in the business."

Term of the Day: to muscle it off

to muscle it off—using brute force to take a trapped automated piece offstage,  a group of stagehands moving an impossibly large piece. “We need to muscle the piece into the truck,” “George and I muscled the shower unit offstage.” 

Term of the Night: Broadway beachhead

Broadway beachhead--when a producer or director from another entertainment industry tries to establish his or herself on Broadway. "J.J. Abrams, the director of many films and TV shows, tried to establish a Broadway beachhead by producing 'The Play that Goes Wrong,' the British farce."

Term of the Day: "much, much better than new"

"much, much better than new"--after a repair onstage or after a paint call, where the set looks all bright and new, a stagehand or a scenic may say, "Much, much better than new," in a sarcastic or boastful manner. The line comes from an old Meineke Muffler commercial from the 1980's. 

Term of the Day: monkeys trying to fuck a football

monkeys trying to fuck a football--major screw up involving multiple players. Fun to watch. "Watching the new carpenter and his inexperienced assistant fit the oversized rolling unit through the tiny stage door was like watching monkeys trying to fuck a football."

Overheard Stagehand Line #24: "Retirement or death..."

A Stagehand referring to a Miserable Older Stagehand: "He's a miserable old man. Retirement or death will take care of him. I don't really care which one comes first."

Term of the Night: sandbar

sandbar--incident or snag that stops a load-in or part of a load-in cold in its tracks. "PRG sent us a broken controller, so we weren't able to operate motors to lower the empty road boxes into the trap. It was the sandbar that stopped everything."

Term of the Night: Cha-Ching!

Cha-Ching!--sound you make when it is clear we are going into overtime. (mimicking the sound of a cash register opening.) Also: Ka-Ching!

Term of the Day: out-of-town closing

out-of-town closing-- when the producers pull the plug on Broadway-bound due to the quality of show or no money. The show does not make it to Broadway. It is like a miscarriage--the show was not meant to be born.

Term of the Day: have a sidebar

have a sidebar--to discuss a potentially controversial issue in private, taken from the legal world, where two lawyers will discuss a matter with the judge, out of earshot of the larger courtroom.

Overheard Stagehand Line #26: "He's got a spotty relationship..."

"He's got a spotty relationship with the truth." Um, the man's a liar.

Term of the Day: gravy

gravy--extra benefits. “Working the show is gravy after the load-in.”

Term of the Day: chest thumping

chest thumping--when a head makes a lot of noise over a turf issue in the theater, more about asserting authority than a logistical issue. Similar to gorillas in the wild.

Term of the Day: to foist someone or something into a situation

to foist someone or something into a situation--to force an unwanted person or item into a situation. "The tech foisted his nephew onto the prop crew." 

Term of the Day: taco short of a combo platter

a taco short of a combo platter--someone who is not all there. See also: odd duck

Term of the Day: marley, marley tape

marley--vinyl dance floor. marley tape--vinyl tape used to tape seams of a marley dance floor. Marley tape is useful for onstage repairs because it doesn't reflect the light.

Term of the Day: manna from the heavens

manna from the heavens--an unexpected job. From the Old Testament reference. "My show closed and I had no prospects. The sudden opening on the prop crew at the Wintergarden was like manna from the heavens."

Term of the Day: A-2

A-2-- deck soundman/soundwoman responsible for distributing and collecting mic packs, swapping out mics during the show.

Term of the Day: stairway wit

stairway wit--the nasty rejoinder you think of too late when you are going up the stairs in the theater, and the thing that you did not say to the person who deserved it.

Overheard Actor Line #4: "I'm on the Tony train..."

"I'm on the Tony train, you better watch out"-- sarcastic line by an actor after doing an insignificant cross, that his work will get him a Tony.

Term of the Night: first, first call

first, first call--the first stagehand the head calls when a new show is coming into a theater. "I'm his first," said the extra stagehand of his relationship with the head.

Term of the day: upstate Manhattan

upstate Manhattan--hipster term for the Inwood and northern Washington Heights neighborhoods in upper Manhattan. Occasionally younger stagehands, wardrobe people and actors find affordable apartments up there. The A train, when running express, makes the commute quick.

Term of the Day: work-around

work-around--finding alternatives to working with an incompetent  or nasty head, or a bad production manager during a load-in.

Term of the Day: to walk

to walk--when a tool, prop or other personal or company possession is stolen. "During the last load out, my Makita to a walk." "I like buying Ryobi tools...they are so cheap, that if they walk, I am not heartbroken."

Term of the Day: a rinse and repeat job

a rinse and repeat job--when you are doing a job multiple times, you should be doing it faster. "C'mon, putting blinds on the back of the windows on the set is a rinse and repeat job...it shouldn't take you as long as the first one." It is a reference to the instructions on a shampoo bottle.

Word of the Moment: Gig Butt

Gig butt: After a long day of running around during a summer load in, stagehands of both sexes will experiences painful chafing. Baby powder works, but vaseline on the thighs works better.

Term of the Day: Don't show your teeth until you have to

Don't show your teeth until you have to--controlling signs of aggression in a confrontation.

Term of the Day: virtual shaping

virtual shaping-- asking for work via Facebook or by email, usually by younger stagehands.

Term of the Day: hold first refusal

hold first refusal: A Local 52 term. The boss may say, "I'll probably have work for you at the end of the week, but call me first if you are offered work. I'll try to find you something." The boss is exercising the "hold first refusal."

Term of the Day: redheads

redheads--red dumpsters, used for construction debris only. "Pull the redheads in the alley at the end of the day."

Term of the Day: cue lights

cue lights--lights flipped on by stage manager to indicate cues to men on the fly floor or on the deck. There was a legendary flyman and drinker who would take the bulb out of the flyrail cue light and stick his finger in the socket. When the SM calling the show would flip the cue light, it would jolt him awake. throwing the cue lights.

Term of the Day: a whip-around

a whip-around: a collection of money at a theater or TV studio for a stagehand who has had a death in their family or when a baby is born. "We are doing a whip-around for the family of the stagehand who died last week. They need the money."

Term of the Day: "moving deck chairs on the Titanic"

"moving deck chairs on the Titanic"--making small changes too late to fix a doomed show. "They made changes to the first act, but it was like moving deck chairs on the Titanic."

Term of the Day: (a) haircut

(a) haircut--when you cut the top off a prop or a small piece of scenery, so it can be accommodated backstage. "We had to give the bookcase unit a haircut so it would fit on the set."

Term of the Day: (a) walkaway

(a) walkaway--leave everything as it is and go home

Term of the Day: one-way sense of humor

one-way sense of humor--can make snarky, cruel jokes but doesn't understand them when they are returned. "The acid-tongued PSM had a one-way sense of humor. He could dish it out, but was perplexed when people mocked him in return."

Term of the Day: noble failure

noble failure--a Broadway show that receives rave reviews and is an artistic favorite in the Broadway community, but has dismal ticket sales and dies a quick death. These shows are mounted on Broadway when producers follow their hearts, rather then their wallets.

Term of the Day: “Make it safe”

“Make it safe”--put a safety on a light, tie a piece off. “Make it safe and take coffee”

Term of the Night: keep jurisdiction

keep jurisdiction--to ensure a stagehand presence in certain places in the theater,  i.e. preventing stage managers and interns from doing stagehand work. "The house propman ensured that props carried out all work in the dressing rooms, keeping jurisdiction for the local."

Term of the Night: juke-box musical

juke-box musical--musicals based on the pop music of one old star or a time period (1950's or 1960's). Some hit big ("Jersey Boys" ran for 11 years, closing in January 2017; "Moving Out" ran for about two years, and "Beautiful" is still going strong), but most fail.

Term of the Night: “Gimme a rub”

“Gimme a rub”--help me, usually to pull a heavy piece

Term of the Day: props and crafts

props and crafts--making paper goods for a show, tools required are limited to scissors and glue sticks. "Get me some crafty people for tomorrow...it is a day of props and crafts."

Term of the Day: paper

paper--comp tickets. ”They papered the house.” Standard practice during previews and when reviewers are in, but a very bad sign during a normal run. See: producers’ pep talk

Term of the Day: "paid by the hour"

"paid by the hour"--when a skilled stagehand's talents are wasted doing menial labor, like sorting garbage, it is a good thing to mutter, "I'm paid by the hour."

Term of the Day: (a) pair of shoes from the hall

(a) pair of shoes from the hall--ordering two stiffs from the union hall (brawn matters here, not skill) for a brutal day on the load-in or loadout.

Term of the Day: overhire

overhire--worker hired at a scenic shop during a busy season. Not a regular. "The overhires were let go after the Met shop finished building the new opera."

Term of the Day: kowtow

kowtow--to bow down, to show servile deference. From the Chinese.

Term of the Day: jump ship before it sinks

jump ship before it sinks--when the contract men and women on a show start leaving for other jobs as the ticket sales start going down.

Term of the Day: hump day

hump day--heavy-lifting day, moving a lot of things, wardrobe out of the basement, loading trucks at a load out.

Term of the Day: I pick stuff up, I put stuff down

I pick stuff up, I put stuff down-- the stagehand life of humping stuff.

Term of the Night: "I'm new to this picnic"

"I'm new to this picnic"--I haven't worked on this project yet, clue me in on what I have to do.

Term of the Day: schmata

schmata--drape, cover (Yiddish)..."Throw the schmata over the table."

Term of the Day: Phantom lift

Phantom lift: When a stagehand is pretending too vigorously to lift a heavy piece of scenery and is letting others do the real work. See also: soft hands

Term of the Day: plain dealer

plain dealer--frank, honest person, straight shooter.

Term of the Day: phantom production

phantom production--a fake Broadway show. A theater agent named Roland Scahill was convicted in August 2016 of defrauding investors of $165,000 for a fake play on the life of the opera diva Kathleen Battle, which was to play at the Booth Theatre. Scahill claimed the actress Nupita Nyong'o was going to play Battle and that the show was going to be filmed for Netflix. Neither the play nor the Netflix connection existed. Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance referred to the Kathleen Battle play as a "phantom production."

Term of the Day: no stripes

no stripes--"I have no stripes," that means that I am not a boss. Conversely, a know-it-all stagehand may start barking orders, and may be asked sarcastically, "Ooh, who gave you stripes?" Also: No feathers.

Term of the Day: "My rabbi just got his own synagogue"

"My rabbi just got his own synagogue"--When your rabbi becomes the head of a theater, gets a head's job.

Term of the Day: laid and paid

laid and paid--happy stagehand, or a usually mopey stagehand who shows a brief moment of happiness. "It looks like he just got laid and paid."

Term of the Day: kiss the ring

kiss the ring--paying tribute to the head, like a loyal vassal...I have also heard a more obscene interpretation of this action.

Term of the Day: hoofer

hoofer--outdated term for dancer

Term of the Day: "Hit me with your best shot"

"Hit me with your best shot"--from an old Pat Benatar song, implying that one stagehand in a confrontation doesn't have the guts to hit the other.  See also: "Have at it."

Term of the Day: good government job

good government job--job on a long-running show. Dependable pay, like the post office or some other civil service job. "Working on 'Phantom' is a good government job."

Term of the Day: foley cue

foley cue--a live sound cue. For example, a slamming door sound made by an offstage door being slammed, or the sound of breaking glass being made by dropping a sealed box full of broken glass.

Term of the Day: to post

to post--to post the closing notice. "As soon as our weekly ticket sales went below $300,000, it was a matter of time before we posted."

Term of the Day: stop pussyfooting around

stop pussyfooting around--stop being indecisive, make up your mind.

Term of the Day: day player

day player--stagehand hired day by day on a load in, usually doesn't have a spot on the show.

Term of the Day: break your shovel

break your shovel--destroy contact, lose job

Term of the Day: blowing their wad

blowing their wad--to run out of money, when the producers run out of money. "The frantic workcalls during the production period were suddenly cancelled. We realized the producers had blown their wad." Of course, there is the dirty meaning as well.

Term of the Day: “beat the clock” mentality

“beat the clock” mentality--to do everything as quickly as possible, possibly making unnecessary errors.

Expression of the Day: "An actress wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire"

"An actress wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire"--said by an elderly New York actress, circa 1991. A reference to the cutthroat competitiveness in the New York theater world.

Term of the Day: "Having the time of my life"

"Having the time of my life"--sarcastic response when asked how you are doing. see: "Living the dream."

Term of the Day: great lady of the theater

great lady of the theater--usually affectionate term, applied to older character actresses who have been around for a while or older dressers or wardrobe supervisors. Can be sarcastic.

Term of the Day: to give a wide berth

to give a wide berth--to physically avoid someone, to give someone space. "Because of his explosive personality, I gave that stagehand a wide berth in the theater."

Term of the Day: "When's the strike?"

"When's the strike?" When the comedian Jerry Lewis was in the revival of "Damned Yankees" in the mid-1990s, every time he would pass a knot of stagehands speaking in hushed voices, he would say in a stage whisper, "When's the strike, boys?"

Term of the Day: buried alive

buried alive--when you work at the long-running show like "Phantom" or "Wicked," people think you have retired.

Term of the Night: bringing him/her along

bringing him/her along--to mentor or help a young stagehand, to bring him or her up to speed

Term of the Day: cleaning house

cleaning house--after regime change, a new head may clean house of the old head's hires, bringing new people in.

Term of the Day: read the writing on the wall

read the writing on the wall--to determine that something big is happening, that the show is closing, that you are about to be pushed out.

Term of the Day: eat someone's lunch

to eat someone's lunch--to make an aggressive move against another stagehand

Term of the Day: box-office poison

box-office poison--a leading actor or actress who is capable of killing a show. Sometimes, a crew member who has worked on a string of bombs will call themselves box-office poison. "The young stage manager, who had worked on a string of bombs, called herself 'box-office poison.'" "Baywatch's David Hasselhoff was box-office poison for the original 'Jekyll and Hyde' in the late 1990's."

Term of the Night: an actor/actress piece

an actor/actress piece--a small piece of cake, a reference to weight-conscious performers. "'Give me an actor piece,' I said to the ASM cutting the birthday cake.

Term of the Night: “back on your heads”

“back on your heads”--break is over (punchline of devil joke)

Term of the Day: to kvetch

to kvetch(Yiddish)--to complain, in a whiny way.

Term of the Night: (the) usual suspects

(the) usual suspects--stagehands you'd expect to see at a load in, working for a particular head. "At the load in, who did you see working in Electrics? Oh, the usual suspects." Taken from the 1995 Kevin Spacey movie.

Term of the Night: the fix was in

the fix was in--Things were determined a long time ago. "Even though the heads' jobs for the new Hudson Theatre were listed in the union newsletter, the fix was in months ago." "The fix is in, brother, the fix is always in."

Term of the night: schlub

schlub(Yiddish)--stupid, useless or unattractive person. "The hall sent me a schlub that kept going out on unauthorized cigarette breaks. I put him on my 'do not hire' list.

Term of the Night: "Say anything, tell them nothing"

"Say anything, tell them nothing"--old Irish saying, good for dealing with shit-stirrers. Do not give any information that is useful. Give them blarney.

Term of the Night: chump change

chump change--small amounts of money, often not worth counting or taking a job for. "For the producer Scott Rudin, who produces $250 million movies like 'Batman,' producing on Broadway involves chump change. A $3 million play is nothing for him."

Question of the Day: What's the definition of a friend in Los Angeles?

What's the definition of a friend in Los Angeles?
Stabs you in the chest.

Term of the Night: slumming

slumming--hanging out in a rougher, poorer neighborhood that is not your own, often provoking the resentment of the locals. "When his theater was closed, my cousin tried slumming in TV."

Term of the Day: roll with the punches

roll with the punches--to deal with an ongoing difficult situation

Term of the Day: ice cream doors

ice cream door--small door on side of box truck that allows driver to pull out small boxes for delivery without opening up the truck. Like the small door on the old ice cream trucks. Also: Good Humor doors.

Term of the Day: Chicken Little

Chicken Little--a doom-and-gloom stagehand, always sees the sky as falling, can rip the silver-lining out of every cloud.

Term of the Day: blood cannon

blood cannon--sprays fake blood on stage (Lieutenant of Innishmore)

Term of the Day: things go sideways

things go sideways--things get screwed up. "Things were going smoothly with the load in, until they started going sideways when the scenery truck didn't show up on the third day."

Term of the Day: "The chickens have come home to roost"

"The chickens have come home to roost"--bad actions have consequences. It is the Malcolm X line on the Kennedy assassination.

Term of the Day: NSFW

NSFW-- not safe for work. Stories that are offensive, misogynistic or sexist and should not be told at work. Or in the digital age, videos or pictures that may be offensive. I wouldn't show people that video...it's NSFW."

Term of the Day: Jesus nails

Jesus nails--any nail 4” or longer (Sapsis Rigging)

Term of the Day: "It's an old man's job, but I'll grow into it"

"It's an old man's job, but I'll grow into it"--A relative of mine got a plum job as a TV news studio head, which is a "lights on, lights off" studio. Somebody said it was an old man's job. His response was, "It's an old man's job, but I'll grow into it."

Term of the Day: The "It's Over" Meeting

The "It's Over" Meeting--the load-out meeting. When an actress at a recent show of mine saw the production crew and house heads sitting in the house discussing the load out, she said in a chirpy voice, "Oh, it's the 'it's over' meeting." She was right.

Term of the Day: to sit shiva

to sit shiva--to go to a wake, mourning period. From the Hebrew, meaning seven, for the seven-day mourning period.

Term of the Day: shop mechanic

shop mechanic--skilled carpenter from scenic shop, sometimes has no sense of stagecraft

Term of the Night: to get your back up

to get your back up--to be become angry and defensive or combative because of the actions of another individual

Term of the Day: self-winder

self-winder--someone who is easily wound up by gossip or a rumor, often done intentionally by others. See also: wind him/her up.

 

Term of the Day: put his/her papers in

put his/her papers in-- to retire

Term of the Day: "We don't play that way in this house"

"We don't play that way in this house"--a famous Broadway head's response when asked to hire a stagehand without a card.

Term of the Day: Weeping Willow

Weeping Willow--constant complainer, a name given to the old scenic at East Coast Theatrical Supply in the 1980s.

Term of the Day: pure stagehandese

pure stagehandese--stagehand slang, a stagehand who is conversant in the slang used by Local #1 stagehands. Often generational stagehands, whose fathers or grandfathers were in Local #1. I find that many stagehands under 50 don't understand what a busted valise is. "One of the extra men in the carpentry department speaks the purest stagehandese I have ever heard."

Term of the Day: (to) Wildhorn someone

(to) Wildhorn someone--The main Broadway reviewers for the New York Times hate the composer Frank Wildhorn, so his musicals like "Bonnie and Clyde" and "Dracula" always get savaged. Repeated vicious reviews about the same composer or playwright by the same reviewer means that the artist has been Wildhorned.

Term of the Day: winging it

winging it--to repair something without the right materials, to improvise a solution. The original roots may be that "winging it" meant someone was feeding lines to an onstage actor from the wings. 

Quote of the Day: "You can't break iron"

"You can't break iron"--When asked how he was recovering from an injury incurred when somebody pushed a roadbox on him, the stagehand, who survived the horrors of Vietnam combat, said with deadpan intensity, "You can't break iron."

Term of the Day: you reap what you sow

you reap what you sow--when your decisions or actions have long term and usually bad results. "The young stagehand's fistfight with an assistant designer got him banned from most industrials. You reap what you sow."

Historical Follies: rewriting the laws of Broadway

“I’m going to rewrite the laws of Broadway.” --Garth Drabinsky, Canadian impresario, who fought extradition in Canada after his pump-and-dump stock scam through LivEnt. He was sentenced to seven years in prison in Canada (in 2009). In the end, Drabinsky's sentence was reduced to five years, of which he served 17 months in the Canadian penal system, being released in 2013.

“I’m going to rewrite the laws of Broadway.” --Mitchell Maxwell, AKA King of the Flops, producer of numerous bombs, known for roping in numerous dentists to back his shows. 

Historical Line of the Moment: “This is not a job...:

“This is not a job. This is a hostage crisis"...a reference to the long hours worked at the old WWF theater in the Paramount on West 43rd Street.

Symptoms of When a Show is Going Down

A show is going down when:

--workcalls are canceled

--actors are hired because they fit costumes.

--producers stop paying rentals/royalties

--producer pep talk occurs

--soundmen are not allowed to order batteries.

Advice of the Night: “Where’s Vito?

“Where’s Vito? He went behind the scenery with a piece of wood.”--what to tell management if they are looking for a particular stagehand.
Alternative line--"He went up to the grid with a C-wrench."

Broadway Light Bulb Jokes

How many designers does it take to change a light bulb? What do you think?

How many directors does it take to change a light bulb? Does it have to be a light bulb?

How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb? (Holds hand right in your face) Can’t talk now!

Term of the Night: permanent borrowing

permanent borrowing--when something disappears in the theater, a sarcastic term for acknowledging theft, or maybe the carelessness of someone walking off with tape, Velcro or a hand tool and not returning it.

Term of the Day: "I'll turn you into a hood ornament!"

"I'll turn you into a hood ornament!"--Jerry Lewis, when he was at "Damn Yankees" in 1995, told his dresser, "I'll turn you into a hood ornament" when he was dissatisfied with something, meaning that he'd run him down with a car. I think that must have come from Jerry's years in Las Vegas.

Term of the Day: "Fire in the hole!"

"Fire in the hole!"--warning that pyro will be tested during the evening or matinee checkout. I think it is an old mining term.

Term of the Day: donkey/narrowback

donkey/narrowback--Irish immigrant/Irish American ...narrowbacks have much less muscular backs from less hard work. A donkey is a worker used to hard labor. For me, this comes from the Irish influences of Local #1.

Term of the Day: cut list

cut list--stagehands producers want to cut after opening, also a list a carpenter draws up

Term of the Day: crossing departmental lines

crossing departmental lines--doing work in other departments, breaking down conditions.

Term of the Night: corpse face

corpse face--tight bitter scowl with eyes at half mast.

Term of the Day: counting the house

counting the house--Looking out into the house surreptitiously, to estimate the box office success of the show.

Term of the Day: "clear for talent"

"clear for talent"--sarcastic and usually friendly term used when actors are walking through a group of stagehands.

Term of the Day: broken stud=shovel

broken stud=shovel...”If you break a stud while working on the seats, you are out. You’ll be digging ditches.”

Term of the Day: broom up my ass

broom up my ass--a statement of exasperation..."If you want me to work any harder, I could stick a broom up my ass and sweep while working." I once faced down a psychotic tech with this line and it worked. What do you say in response? "I'll get the broom."

Term of the Day: orphan

orphan--stagehand with no family affiliations, has to make his/her own way in the business, or anyone in a particular local that has no relatives in that local.

Term of the Day: diggers

diggers--people who buy large blocks of tickets for ticket resellers when hot new shows start selling tickets. "The box office treasurer limited sales to 10 tickets a day per person, to try to thwart the diggers who buy large blocks of tickets for ticket resellers. "They buy weekend and holiday tickets," she said. "They are digging out the show."

Term of the Day: heavy hitters

heavy hitters--men who make a lot of money, techs, heads

Term of the Day: hang out

hang out--wait for orders where you are

Term of the Day: daily rant

daily rant--daily outburst by difficult stagehands, sometimes necessary at the start of the day. 

 

Term of the Day: “coke the stage”

“coke the stage”--to put Coca-Cola on a slippery deck (adding a small amount of Coke to a mop bucket). Also, propmen will use the liquid rosin mixture called "Slip No More." Sometimes the deck becomes too sticky after mopping with Coke.

Term of the Day: chewing the scenery

chewing the scenery--overacting. See also: "tooth-marks on the scenery."

Term of the Day: brick in the wall

brick in the wall--to ignore existence of another person in the theater (“From now on, he’s another brick in the wall,” said the head carpenter, of a rude PSM)

Term of the Day: brain surgery

brain surgery--"It's not brain surgery"...The work is easy. "It's not brain surgery; it is more like rocket science."

Term of the Day: the long knives are out

the long knives are out--an imminent, quick and brutal end. "After the psychotic soundman turned on the electrician who had protected him, the long knives were out and he was gone before week's end.

Term of the Day: fade into the woodwork

fade into the woodwork--to not be noticed, by design

 

Term of the Day: dummy up

dummy up--keep quiet, often when management is around

Term of the Day: divot

divot--cut on the head

Term of the Day: to get dinged

to get dinged--to get hit, usually on the head

Term of the Day: cluster fuck

cluster fuck--things are all screwed up, boxed in, big disaster

Term of the Day: "catch of the day"

"catch of the day"--when a head hires different extra men and women on different days of a load in, with varying skill levels, so there is no consistency. The poor contract head doesn't know what he or she is going to get.

Terms of the Day: street meats, dirty-water dogs and dollar pizza

street meats, dirty-water dogs and dollar pizza-- how underpaid Local #1 apprentices survive. Street meats are chicken or beef kabobs grilled on the street (tasty but may be dangerous to the GI tract) and dirty-water dogs are hotdogs

Term of the Day: yenta

yenta--a gossip, a blabbermouth. From the matchmaker character in "Fiddler on the Roof."

Term of the Day: put someone over the barrel

put someone over the barrel--to control the situation, to offer someone no choice. "When they come to me desperate for someone to do the tour, I am going to put them over the barrel and get a weekly." To be over a barrel is the opposite, where you have no control.

Term of the Day: full pop

full pop--full price

Term of the Day: optics

optics-- how things look, how things are perceived, especially by management. "Don't have all your guys work in the basement. Send several people to work on the deck, so the techs see that work is being done."

Term of the Day: kemosabe

kemosabe--faithful friend, from a corrupted Native American word used in the Lone Ranger films. May also mean "he who peeks."

Term of the Day: audience plant

audience plant--in the old days, stars had the right to have a certain number of “plants” in the audience to encourage laughter (may be myth)

Term of the Day: ACT Card

ACT Card--Associated Crafts and Technician card. It is a backdoor way to join IATSE. If you are given a job offer and the IA approves, you get an ACT card and can hold pink contracts. Usually, a stagehand holding an ACT card will apply to another local, to cover his or her pedigree.

Term of the Day: above my pay grade

above my pay grade--indicating you are not qualified to make a decision, deferring a difficult or embarrassing decision to the bosses above you. Washing your hands of a matter.

Term of the Day: ten stories on repeat

 ten stories on repeat--when a stagehand tells the same 10 stories about him/herself over and over again. A precursor to anecdotage.

Term of the Night: injured reserve list

injured reserve list--when half the stagehands in a department claim (or exaggerate) injuries (back, neck, wrist, etc.) that prevent them from unloading trucks during a load in. "Five of the guys in the prop department were on the injured reserve list at 'Dracula,' so that left three of us to unload the steel."

Term of the Night: Happy Valley

Happy Valley--theater or TV studio where the stagehands and actors, and even stage managers get along. The opposite of the places like the House of Hate. Can be sarcastic, as well.

Term of the Night: "Having fun and making money"

"Having fun and making money"--another good sarcastic line when there is chaos at the theater. Nothing rankles your enemies more than being happy and unflappable.

Term of the Day: "Good manners in the sandbox"

"Good manners in the sandbox"-- all departments have to work together and behave. May be said when there is a history of bad blood between different heads. See also: "Hey, we all have to play in this sandbox."

Term of the Day: charm offensive

charm offensive--when a difficult stagehand all of a sudden starts cozying up to different people in the theater, having a change in attitude with dark motives behind it. "The stagehand realized he was on the cusp of being fired, so he went on a charm offensive in the theater." Charm offensives rarely last long.

Term of the Day: manna from the heavens

manna from the heavens--an unexpected job. From the Old Testament reference. "My show closed and I had no prospects. The sudden opening on the prop crew at the Wintergarden was like manna from the heavens."

Term of the Day: long in the tooth

long in the tooth--a little too old, too old to be a chorine or ingenue

Term of the Day: line through your name

line through your name--to lose a contact, to cross a name off the list, a head intentionally crosses your name off his hiring list... “I just put a line through your name.”

Term of the Night: "no" votes

"no" votes-- when stagehands are voted into Local #1 after making the three years of card time, the number of "no" votes a stagehand receives indicates how well they or their father (or, now, mother) is liked. A large number of "no" votes means you or your parent is disliked by many Onesy voters.

Term of the Night--not in the cards

not in the cards--not going to happen. A reference to Tarot cards and fortune telling. "I thought I was going to get a spot on the show, but it was not in the cards.

Term of the Night: "Forever came"

"Forever came"--the end of "Cats." The 18-year musical "Cats" had the motto, "Now and forever." At the loadout, some stagehand wag noted, "Forever came." 

Term of the Day: “Diva Las Vegas”

 “Diva Las Vegas”—pejorative term applied by a wardrobe supervisor to a female lead with a long list of complaints. 

Overheard Stagehand Line #20: "He's the best mechanic..."

"He's the best mechanic on Broadway, just ask him."

Term of the Day: cracking the code

cracking the code--figuring out a solution to an ongoing problem.

“beat the clock” mentality

“beat the clock” mentality--to do everything as quickly as possible, possibly making unnecessary errors.

Term of the Day: alta kaka

alta kaka--old timer, old person. (Yiddish) Can be used to refer to the blue-hair matinee patrons or old stagehands. "The carpenter is an alta kaka...he was in Local #1 before we had an annuity."

Grim Hell's Kitchen Historical Moment: Minnesota strip

Minnesota strip--the blocks near the Port Authority bus station on 8th Avenue in the bad old days in the 1960's and 1970's, where underage hookers would ply their trade. Many of the girls were runaways from the Midwest, especially Minnesota, thus the name.

Term of the Day: good Rolodex

 good Rolodex--a boss who has a long hiring list of the good stagehands, who has access to and hires good people. A Rolodex is the archaic card index that businesspeople had on their desks for many decades.  "That head has a good Rolodex of mechanics and builders."  Also: "I've got your name in my Rolodex."

Term of the Day: God's gift to chorus girls

God's gift to chorus girls--several older stagehands on Broadway, with an inflated sense of their sex appeal to young dancers.

Term of the Day: to give props

to give props-- respect, proper respect, respect that is due, a compliment. "I have to give you props for that beautiful dance number you choreographed." "Give him his props...he's a head of department."

Term of the Day: break your shovel

break your shovel--destroy contact, lose job

Term of the Day: bringing him/her along

bringing him/her along--to mentor or help a young stagehand, to bring up to speed

Term of the Day: brick in the wall

brick in the wall--to ignore existence of another person in the theater (“From now on, he’s another brick in the wall,” said the head carpenter, of a rude PSM)

Term of the Day: good soldier

good soldier--follows orders, keeps mouth shut, does his/her work as fast as he can. "I want to recommend a guy to you...he's a good soldier."

Term of the Day: fluffer

fluffer--prop person who is skilled with fabric goods (drapes, pillows and bedspreads). Has different meaning in porn world.

Term of the Day: exit preset

exit preset--when you get your bag and coat ready so you can run out the door to make a bus or train

Term of the Day: dummy proof

dummy proof--to mark something or to arrange a preset so that even the dumbest stagehand will get it right.

Term of the Day: counting the house

counting the house--Looking out into the house surreptitiously, to estimate the box office success of the show.

Term of the Day: chewing the scenery

chewing the scenery--overacting. See also: "tooth-marks on the scenery."

Term of the Day: bond

bond--producers must post bond to cover salaries and liabilities in case of sudden closure.

Term of the Day: between hangovers

between hangovers--sarcastic comment about a stagehand with a drinking problem. "He's a good head if you catch him between hangovers."

Term of the Day: above my pay grade

above my pay grade--indicating you are not qualified to make a decision, deferring a difficult or embarrassing decision to the bosses above you. Washing your hands of a matter.

Term of the Night: straight from Central Casting

straight from Central Casting--when an actor or crew member conforms to a Broadway stereotype. "The new dancer was a Texas redhead straight from Central Casting." The Central Casting Bureau was an extras casting agency set up by the Hollywood studios in the 1920's as a resource to find extras and as a way to control them and their wages.

Term of the Day: "You can't break iron"

"You can't break iron"--When asked how he was recovering from an injury incurred when somebody pushed a roadbox on him, the stagehand, who survived the horrors of Vietnam combat, said with deadpan intensity, "You can't break iron."

Overheard Stagehand Line #19: “The road don’t count.”

“The road don’t count.”--stagehand explanation for out-of-town infidelity.

Term of the Day: crash-and-burn

crash-and-burn--major automation screw up or failure, probably causing a chain reaction.

Term of the Day: "Don't worry, you are still on my Christmas card list"

"Don't worry, you are still on my Christmas card list"--after a screw up, reassuring someone that you are not holding a grudge.

Term of the Day: conversational headlock

conversational headlock--when a co-worker talks too much and won't let you get a word in. "Working with Jimmy is like being in a conversational headlock all day."

Term of the Day: "catch of the day"

"catch of the day"--when a head hires different extra men and women on different days of a load in, with varying skill levels, so there is no consistency. The poor contract head doesn't know what he or she is going to get.

Term of the Day: bird-dog someone

bird-dog someone--to harass a coworker, usually maliciously.

Overheard Stagehand Line #17: “When I learn my cues, the show closes.”

“When I finally learn my cues, the show closes”--line by a legendary roadman

Term of the Day: a yutz

a yutz--a stupid, useless person (from Yiddish)....see also mook.

Term of the Day: "You're killing me"

"You're killing me"--exasperated line when somebody gets in your way constantly or is blocking your worksite on stage with scenery or props. The proper response: "If only it were true."

Musician Expression of the Day: "You took the gig--shut up and play"

"You took the gig--shut up and play"--a musician friend told me that sometimes you have to be blunt with whiny fellow musicians...stop complaining about the quality of the conductor or your other bandmates and just play your book.

Term of the Day: (to) Wildhorn someone

(to) Wildhorn someone--The main Broadway reviewers for the New York Times hate the composer Frank Wildhorn, so his musicals always get savaged. Repeated vicious reviews about the same composer or playwright by the same reviewer means that the artist has been Wildhorned.

Term of the Day: winging it

winging it--to repair something without the right materials, to improvise a solution. The original roots may be that "winging it" meant someone was feeding lines to an onstage actor from the wings.

Term of the Day: willing lambs to the slaughter

willing lambs to the slaughter--producers with dubious Broadway vehicles. "When I read in today's Times that a musical about Cher was in the works, I thought of the producers, where Broadway has a 90 percent failure rate, as willing lambs to the slaughter.

Term of the Day: unauthorized choreography

unauthorized choreography--a chorus boy I knew got hurt in the wings while goofing around, not doing the show choreography. We said, "He got hurt doing unauthorized choreography."

Term of the Day: Union lights out

Union lights out--derogatory expression, that non-stagehands (creatives, etc) can’t work on stage when the union stagehands are on break.

Term of the Day: virtual shaping

virtual shaping--asking for work via Facebook or by email, usually by younger stagehands.

Term of the Day: throw me in

throw me in--to publicly fink on someone, reveal culprit behind a mistake.

Term of the Day: top shelf

top shelf--good quality, expensive. Old bar term, where the good liquor is stored. "The producers threw a great opening night party...everything was top shelf."

Term of the Day: equity cots

equity cots--cheap camping cots provided for actors to sleep on. It is a contract requirement, something like one cot per five or six actors.

Term of the Day: "You got to be in it to win it"

"You got to be in it to win it"--old ad tag line for the New York Lottery. "Put your resume for the newest head opening...you got to be in it to win it."

Term of the Day: "If you like him, invite him to dinner"

"If you like him, invite him to dinner": When two stagehands are engrossed in conversation at the expense of working, the crew chief might yell, "If you like him, invite him to dinner," so they go back to work.

Term of the Day: robo-coffee

robo-coffee--Keurig pod coffee or any similar brands. Generous producers provide green room hospitality, which usually consists of a Keurig, and electric kettle and boxes of tea.

Term of the Day: get it on the load out

get it on the load out--when a prop, a flashlight or an important piece of hardware rolls under the show deck, it is often impossible to retrieve. Someone will say, "We'll get it on the loadout,"  meaning the item will be retrieved then, or possibly never.

Term of the Day: George M. Cohan's back pocket

George M. Cohan's back pocket--the planter surrounding the statue of the composer and performer George M. Cohan on the island near 46th and Broadway...during industrial events on the island, which is known as Father Duffy Square, after the heroic World War I chaplain of the Fighting 69th (the Irish unit, many recruited from Hell's Kitchen), bottled water is stored in the planter for the working stagehands. Jimmy Cagney played both George Cohan in "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and a young soldier mentored by Father Duffy in "The Fighting 69th." Cagney was a Broadway hoofer before he became a movie tough guy.

Term of the Day: flush the truck

flush the truck--to empty a truck of all its contents.

Term of the Day: on standby

on standby-- The standby is a principal contract and can only be on standby for principals in the show. (A standby may cover multiple principals. Sometimes by contract, the standby must be within a 15-minute walk of the theater while the performance is on.  A second cover is often an ensemble member who is rehearsed to cover the star role when the first cover is sick or on vacation.

Term of the Day: butter hands

butter hands--stagehand known to drop things.

Term of the Day: bounce the curtain

bounce the curtain--bring the curtain in, then immediately out (on

two-man curtains, the man on the left-hand line flies in the air and comes down quickly) so it gives the appearance of bouncing. Also called an opera bounce or bouncing the main.

Term of the Day: blacklist

blacklist--to prevent someone from getting work on a long-term basis (from the McCarthy era)

Term of the Day: Broadway hungry

Broadway hungry--when a stagehand tries hard to get work on Broadway, after coming from the TV studios or the industrial world, where the pay is lower. "The former apprentice was Broadway hungry, trying to work in the theaters."

Term of the Day: book the flat

book the flat--open a bifold flat so it doesn’t fall over

Term of the Day: blowing their wad

blowing their wad--to run out of money, when the producers run out of money. "The frantic workcalls during the production period were suddenly cancelled. We realized the producers had blown their wad." Of course, there is the dirty meaning as well.

Term of the Day: battlefield conditions

battlefield conditions--during the brutal production period, repairs are made with materials at hand and props are built and scenery rehashed in the alleys of theaters, often during the freezing winter. Sometimes miracles are pulled off in primitive conditions. When asked why a certain decision during production was made, you can mutter "battlefield conditions."

Historical Line of the Day: "Wasn't it your turn to watch him?"

  "Wasn't it your turn to watch him?"--said of a stately, elderly PSM who would wander into the backstage area during the most frantic scene changes, getting in the way.

Term of the Day: his famous disappearing act

his famous disappearing act--a stagehand well known for disappearing for 10 or 20 minutes, then reappearing suddenly at load-ins.

Term of the Day: bleeder

bleeder--small cut, usually on your hand, that won't stop bleeding no matter what you do.

Term of the Day: acts with his props

acts with his props--an actor who may damage his props or puts too much emphasis on them. This actor may be ripe for shunning.

Term of the Day: 20-foot rule

20-foot rule--when an actor or stage manager points out a flaw on a prop standing two feet away from it, you can say, "Hey, use the 20-foot rule," where the first row of the orchestra actually is.

Term of the Day: “What’s the worst thing about having a wife and a mistress?

“What’s the worst thing about having a wife and a mistress? Seeing “Mama Mia” twice. (originally used to be for “Cats”)

Term of the Day: “McHale’s was my off-Broadway credit”

“McHale’s was my off-Broadway credit”--an ex-dancer, ex-McHale’s bartender, now an assistant wardrobe supervisor. (The original McHale's was on 8th Avenue and 46th Street and was torn down in 2006. In the go-go days of the 1980's, it was a de facto hiring hall.)

Term of the Day: “We don’t need no heroes.”

“We don’t need no heroes.”--the late Bill Barry on stagehands doing dangerous things to get things done faster.

Term of the Day: annuity-buster

annuity-buster-- a showgirl. After the divorce, the ex-wife gets half your annuity for all the years you were married. "Bobby Bobby Bobby (an infamous stagehand) showed up to work catatonic when he found that his ex-wife had sucked half his annuity out of his account when the divorce was finalized. He had married an annuity buster."

Term of the Day: BFD

BFD--big fucking deal...jaded sarcasm.

 

Term of the Day: bouncing around

bouncing around--working different places, no full-time job

Term of the Day: brain surgery

brain surgery--"It's not brain surgery"...The work is easy. "It's not brain surgery; it is more like rocket science."

Term of the Day: “Call the hall”

“Call the hall”--calling the replacement room of the union hall, looking for a man to work at that moment.

Term of the Day: cruller

cruller--your skull, your head. a doughnut. Some people say,"Watch your cruller," when a pipe is coming in to the deck.

Term of the day: deaf and dumb (D & D)

deaf and dumb (D & D)-- an old longshoreman's term. "He's deaf and dumb, he didn't hear anything and can't say anything about it."

Historical Term of the Day: Dressers’ Rebellion

Dressers’ Rebellion--At “Check’s Are Bouncing” in 2001, the dressers rebelled against producer Mitchell Maxwell to get paid.

Term of the Day: first sweep

first sweep--prop man's #1, the first assistant. "Bill is the first sweep at that theater." See also: first broom.

Term of the Day: fuck knuckle

fuck knuckle--idiot, affectionate term

 

Term of the Day: Giuliani barriers

Giuliani barriers--metal crowd control barriers put out in front of theaters, named after Mussolini-like former mayor of New York

Term of the Day: go-to guy

go-to guy--hard worker (can be sarcastic)

Term of the Day: get your ticket

get your ticket--get your union card

Term of the Day: good-enough stiff

good-enough stiff--a stiff good enough to sub, but not good enough or connected enough to take a full-time job on Broadway.

Term of the Day: “Greek it out”

“Greek it out”--cover up the brand names on products seen on camera (TV term)

Term of the Day: gravy

gravy--extra benefits. “Working the show is gravy after the load-in.”

Term of the Day: holidays

holidays--missing spots while painting or fireproofing. "I don't want any holidays," said the shop foreman.

Term of the Day: to be piped, to get piped

to be piped, to get piped--hit with a pipe coming in

Term of the Day: T.V. commando

T.V. commando--one who works in television, generally thought to run around a lot, not accomplishing much.

Term of the Day: "SU/SU"

"SU/SU"--"Show up and Shut up," stop complaining about job conditions or a bad boss.

Good Luck Term of the Day: to step in shit

to step in shit--to get a job you did not ask for, good fortune coming out of nowhere. "The young stagehand stepped in shit when the assistant was fired and he got the job."

Term of the Day: keep your cards close to your chest

keep your cards close to your chest--don't spread your plans around, keep your next move under wraps

Term of the Day: spreading the wealth around

spreading the wealth around--when a head deliberately gives calls to multiple stagehands to make sure people have work. Or some heads don't: "I wish he'd spread the wealth around, he only hires the same five stagehands."

Term of the Day: "somebody's got a tax shelter"

"somebody's got a tax shelter"--when the producers are spending money hand over fist on a show that is destined to bomb, some wag might say,  "Somebody's got a tax shelter."

Term of the Day: SOL

SOL--old jazz term, shit outta luck. "You are SOL...we just used the last sidearm."

Term of the Day: "slapped on the pee pee"

"slapped on the pee pee"-- to be reprimanded by stage management for something you did wrong, often in a condescending way. "The men on the fly floor were slapped on the pee pee for talking too loud during a quiet scene."

Term of the Day: “the Scottish play”

“the Scottish play”--say this is so you don’t have bad luck by mentioning that play by name.

Term of the Day: "When you're mad"

"When you're mad"--the all clear, when stagehands are ready to push something big or to do something that requires brute strength.

Term of the Day: "Where are you stacking them?"

"Where are you stacking them?"--you are working too slowly, breaking chops.

Term of the Day: you reap what you sow

you reap what you sow--when your decisions or actions have long term and usually bad results. "The young stagehand's fistfight with an assistant designer got him banned from most industrials. You reap what you sow."

Term of the Day: "You're killing me"

"You're killing me"--exasperated line when somebody gets in your way constantly or is blocking your worksite on stage with scenery or props. The proper response: "If only it were true."

Term of the Day: “Who do I have to fuck to...”

“Who do I have to fuck to...”--statement of exasperation..."Who do I have to fuck to get my payroll signed?"

Term of the Day: "You can't break iron"

"You can't break iron"--When asked how he was recovering from an injury incurred when somebody pushed a roadbox on him, breaking his leg, the stagehand, who'd survived the horrors of Vietnam combat, said with deadpan intensity, "You can't break iron."

Term of the Day: working my last good nerve

working my last good nerve--annoying someone. "You are working my last good nerve." (a line often used by the late and very talented Sal Sclafani, longtime roadman and House Propman at the Hirschfeld Theatre)

Musician Line of the Day: Why is the musicians local named 802?

Why is the musicians local named 802? That’s the time they show up.

Term of the Day: “This is not a job. This is a hostage crisis"

“This is not a job. This is a hostage crisis"...a reference to the long hours worked at the old WWF theater in the Paramount on West 43rd Street.

Term of the Day: "You the boss, I'm the hoss"

"You the boss, I'm the hoss"-- You are in charge, I'm just the worker, ready to do hard work. Overheard from a head who was working as a day laborer for the day.

Term of the Day: walker

walker--archaic term for a musician that is on the payroll, but doesn't have to show up, such as the four musicians once required for a straight play. One producer made four walkers play in the bathroom during intermission.

Term of the Day: underminer

underminer--crew member who may work to undermine his or her boss. "By accident, I hired an underminer on my crew."

Term of the Day: triple threat

triple threat--can’t sing, can’t dance, can’t act (sarcastic use of original meaning, which was a performer who could sing, dance and act). Said by dance captain of "Victor/Victoria" of Raquel Welch.

Term of the Day: site survey

site survey--measuring the stage, the backstage area and the theater and checking out the dressing rooms for incoming shows. Often a bad sign for ailing shows if you see the tech for the next show taking measurements. Screwing up the measurements during this site survey will make the load-in a very expensive nightmare (i.e. the set won't fit).

Term of the Day: senior man

senior man--oldest person or longest cardholder on crew, when head is not around, may give orders.

Term of the Day: road dog

road dog--stagehand who sleeps around on the road.

Term of the Day: rice-bowl issue

rice-bowl issue--jurisdictional dispute over who gets the work. Can be between departments in a theater, different locals or different unions. "It was a rice bowl issue over who sets the tech tables, the carpenter or the prop man."

Term of the Day: pull your punches

pull your punches--to not hit with full strength, to not criticize someone as fully as you can. From the stuntmen in the old Western movies, they were told during fight scenes to pull their punches. The opposite is I pull no punches, meaning I am going to tell you the truth, even if it hurts.

Term of the Day: prop trauma

prop trauma--actor freaks out over prop and becomes a possible candidate for shunning.

Term of the Day: pre-resume culture

pre-resume culture--Resumes still doesn't matter that much in the theaters of Broadway. More often it is your skill set--you can build a spiral staircase or you can fix a Vari-lite, or it is who you are related to, or who is your rabbi.

Term of the Day: perfect load-in weather

perfect load-in weather--it is inevitable that it will snow or there will be a hurricane when you are loading a show in or out. "Ah, perfect load-in weather," you can say sarcastically when the rain is coming down in buckets.

Term of the Night: "shit rolls downhill"

"shit rolls downhill"--abuse travels down the line

Term of the Night: scut work, scut job

scut work, scut job--tedious, dirty work, often given to the youngest stagehand on the crew. "The young stagehand was given the scut job of cleaning old adhesive off the ramp with a heat gun and a spackle knife.

Saying of the Day: Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me

Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me-- when dealing with dishonest people (some techs, certain bosses), it is important not to get screwed twice. The second time is your own fault.

Term of the Night: schmo

schmo--boring, stupid person. Originally from Yiddish, meaning moron or cuckold.

Term of the Night: "Say anything, tell them nothing"

"Say anything, tell them nothing"--old Irish saying, good for dealing with shit-stirrers. Do not give any information that is useful. Give them blarney.

Term of the Night: sandbar

sandbar--incident or snag that stops a load-in or part of a load-in cold in its tracks. "PRG sent us a broken controller, so we weren't to operate motors to lower the empty road boxes into the trap. It was the sandbar that stopped everything."

Term of the Night: robbing Peter to pay Paul

robbing Peter to pay Paul-- when desperate for hardware, you have to cannibalize or steal from other parts of the theater. "To finish the seat call, I had to rob Peter to pay Paul, taking seat parts from other parts of the orchestra."

Term of the Day: can’t get arrested

can’t get arrested--hard time getting hired

Term of the Night: "piss on that sandbag"

"piss on that sandbag"--add more weight(sand) to that sandbag (Sarah Gowan, Sapsis Rigging)

Term of the Night: (to) pile on

(to) pile on--often following the lead of a bad head, multiple stagehands will harass another stagehand. Sometimes it is in fun, sometimes it is vicious harassment

Term of the Day: "I don't know. I'm not paid to know"

"I don't know. I'm not paid to know"-- the ultimate Indian response...I'm just doing what I'm told to do, I don't have any answers.

Term of the Day: prop genius

prop genius--stagehand who usually works in props, who only works in props.

Term of the Day: paper

paper--comp tickets. ”They papered the house.” Standard practice during previews and when reviewers are in, but a very bad sign during a normal run. See: producers’ pep talk

Term of the Day: "paid by the hour"

"paid by the hour"--when a skilled stagehand's talents are wasted doing menial labor, like sorting garbage, it is a good thing to mutter, "I'm paid by the hour."

Term of the Day: no stripes

no stripes--"I have no stripes," that means that I am not a boss. Conversely, a know-it-all stagehand may start barking orders, and may be asked sarcastically, "Ooh, who gave you stripes?" Also: No feathers.

Term of the Day: Netflix role

Netflix role--when an older character actor has a role where they appear onstage for two five-minute bits and the bows, that is a Netflix role, where they can watch Netflix movies in their dressing room for most of the show.

Term of the Day: kowtow

kowtow--to bow down, to show servile deference. From the Chinese.

Term of the Day: I pick stuff up, I put stuff down

I pick stuff up, I put stuff down-- the stagehand life of humping stuff.

Term of the Day: injured reserve list

injured reserve list--when half the stagehands in a department claim (or exaggerate) injuries (back, neck, wrist, etc.) that prevent them from unloading trucks during a load in. "Five of the guys in the prop department were on the injured reserve list at “Dracula,” so that left three of us to unload the steel."

Term of the Day: blacklist

blacklist--to prevent someone from getting work on a long-term basis (from the McCarthy era)

Term of the Day: kaibosh

kaibosh--to put a stop to something, an absolute stop. "The PSM put the kaibosh on texting backstage." (This word may really be Irish[Gaelic], not Yiddish.)

Expression of the Day: "I only work for assholes..."

"I only work for assholes if there is costume money involved"--who wouldn't want to make $184 a week for changing your pants?

Term of the Day: honey badger

honey badger--a stagehand who rips stuff apart without consideration, fear or skill...taken from the classic YouTube video (D. Chisholm, SF)