Term of the Day: actor whisperer

actor whisperer-- director or stage manager good at working with actors. In the case of PSMs, a person able to calm down or contain a difficult actor.

Quote of the Day: "The juke-box musical is the cockroach of Broadway musicals"

"The juke-box musical is the cockroach of Broadway musicals"--this gorgeous line comes from New York Times theater critic Jesse Green's scathing review of the new musical "Summer," which details the life of Donna Summer, which is presently at the Lunt-Fontaine and is actually making a lot of money. The use of the term cockroach implies that juke-box musical, where old songs from a particular artist are used, will survive everything on Broadway, including nuclear war.

Term of the Night: Runyonesque character

Runyonesque character, Damon Runyon character--eccentric Broadway character. Damon Runyon was a 1920s and 1930's newspaper man whose short stories on the Broadway world inspired the musical "Guys and Dolls." The characters in the short stories included mobsters, showgirls, bookies and Salvation Army charity workers. Often the characters operated in the grey areas of the law, hanging out in nightclubs and bookie joints, looking for the next score. Occasionally people who work in the modern stage industry have some of these characteristics of this bygone era. I knew an alcoholic stagehand who ran book out of a Chinese restaurant. Some of the old Westies who work on Broadway have good stories, as well.
"When the musical 'Jersey Boys' opened in 2005, the son of the late Four Seasons bass player Nick Massi would show up to scalp tickets for the Broadway hit. When he kept trying to approach the cast when he was drunk, he was banned from the theater and the stage door.  He was a Runyonesque character."

Overheard Stagehand Line #16: "I'm going to his wake..."

"I'm going to his wake to make sure he's dead."

Term of the Day: "Hit me with your best shot"

"Hit me with your best shot"--from an old Pat Benatar song, implying that one stagehand in a confrontation doesn't have the guts to hit another.  See also: "Have at it."

Term of the Day: "I love the smell of overtime in the morning"

"I love the smell of overtime in the morning"--on that hard-to-achieve sixth day of work on load-ins,  those who work all six days start the day at time and a half. The quote is a takeoff of the Robert Duvall line in "Apocalypse Now."

Term of the Day: travel agent

travel agent--referring to a particular Broadway head, now retired..."He's the travel agent...if you piss him off, he’ll send you on vacation."

Term of the Day: shit-stirring with a big spoon

shit-stirring with a big spoon--professional gossip mongering on an epic level.

Term of the Day: to sweat someone

to sweat someone--to pursue someone relentlessly, in looking for work or in love. "The young stagehand kept sweating the older head, trying to get on his crew."

Term of the Day: “stealing food from my kid’s mouth”

“stealing food from my kid’s mouth”--to take work away from me

Term of the Day: Debbie Downer

Debbie Downer-- constant complainer. SHOULD be used for both sexes. Based on the old SNL skit.

Term of the Day: to trick out

to trick out--to customize for ease of use, especially a prop case, when storing awkwardly sized props. Also, to build a manual effect..."In 'Victor/Victoria,' the bar shelves were tricked out so they collapsed during the fight scene, and the bottles appeared to fall to the ground."

Term of the Day: "I'll keep you in mind"

"I'll keep you in mind"--if a head says this, he or she will never hire you.

Term of the Day: rice bowl issue

rice bowl issue--jurisdictional dispute over who gets the work. Can be between departments in a theater, different locals or different unions. "It was a rice bowl issue over who sets the tech tables, the carpenter or the prop man."

Term of the Day: botox brigade

botox brigade--modern replacement term for the blue-hair matinee. Blue-hair matinee is a reference to the Broadway theatergoers who used to pack the Wednesday matinees, specifically older women. Now that people are fighting aging on all levels, I have noticed more matinee theatergoers who have had work done.

Term of the Day: lush roller

lush roller--a petty criminal who specializes in robbing drunks passed out on the subway. It is a lost art, where the robber cuts a U-shaped hole in the front pocket of the passed-out drunk and pulls the wallet out. This happened to a famously drunk stagehand in the last few years on the subway going out to Queens. A man is his early eighties was arrested for lush rolling last year.

Term of the Night: put the fear of God in him

put the fear of God in him--when a shock makes someone do the right thing. "After the Fire Department threatened to shut down the theater for blocked fire exits, the incident put the fear of God in the house manager and he forced the crew to clear out the backstage area."

Term of the Day: old home day

old home day--reunion of people who have to seen each other for a long time. "The big industrials are like old home day, where you see people you haven't seen in years."

Term of the Day: to throw shade

 to throw shade--to insult someone, an epic, sneering takedown. First heard in the drag documentary "Paris is Burning" and later on "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Term of the Day: dog in that fight

dog in that fight--when two stagehands are fighting, you wisely stay out of combat and do not take sides. "Sorry, I don't have a dog in that fight."

Broadway Musician Humor

MUSICIANS:

Why is the musicians local named 802?

That’s the time they show up.

“Is this pit getting smaller or is it just me?”--proposed counseling

class at Local 802

What do you call a drummer whose girlfriend breaks up with him?

Homeless.

What’s the definition of a gentleman? Can play accordion but doesn’t.

Definition of an optimist: Mandolin player with a beeper.

Term of the Night: a crackerjack mechanic

a crackerjack mechanic--a great carpenter. "He's a crackerjack mechanic. He can build anything you want."

Expression of the Night: "We are taking on water"

"We are taking on water"--when a show is beginning to fail, the slow descent to the bottom.

Term of the Day: card time

card time--In Local #1, it takes three straight years of $37.5K in the jurisdiction, then you have to wait on the organizational list for a year. If you miss a year, you have to start over again. "I am trying to get my card time done."

Term of the Night: death number

death number--Local 52 (the movie local) slang for the stamped seniority number on a member's IA card. The number changes, going down every year when members retire or die. The joke is that the number indicates how close you are to death yourself. (Thanks to my cousin Michael Maronna, a Local 52 grip.)

Term of the Day: collateral damage

collateral damage--unintended victims. "When the head was fired and replaced, his regular stagehands never worked in that theater again. They were collateral damage to regime change."

Term of the Day: garden-variety asshole

garden-variety asshole--difficult stagehand with no power.

Term of the Day: old-man speed

old-man speed--slow down, you are working too fast. "Go to old-man speed with your mop. The carpenters aren't done with their strike."

Term of the Day: "If you kill me, I'll haunt you forever"

"If you kill me, I'll haunt you forever"--said to the young stagehand controlling the chain motor that suspended the piano I was working under.

Term of the Day: Broadway schadenfreude

Broadway schadenfreude--a secret or not-so-secret desire for a show to close. Schadenfreude is the German term that means "joy at other people's sorrow." Taking joy at a show closing.

Term of the Day: cut your language

cut your language--watch your language, no cursing, often because there are children backstage.

Term of the Day: Hessians

Hessians--short-term labor, not necessarily high-quality stagehands. From the German mercenaries used by the British during the Revolutionary War.

Term of the Night: hammer

hammer--obnoxious stagehand who enforces rules of a head, often lacking essential skills. Some of these rules may be imaginary.

Term of the Day: pre-resume culture

pre-resume culture--Resumes still doesn't matter that much in the theaters of Broadway. More often it is your skill set--you can build a spiral staircase or you can fix a Vari-lite, or it is who you are related to, or who is your rabbi.

Term of the Day: "What am I, chopped liver?"

"What am I, chopped liver?"--you've forgotten me, I'm offended, I'm being treated badly. Chopped liver is a side dish that is easily overlooked. "All my friends were called for the big Radio City load out, but I wasn't. What am I, chopped liver?"

Term of the Day: "much, much better than new"

"much, much better than new"--after a repair onstage or after a paint call, where the set looks all bright and new, a stagehand or a scenic may say, "Much, much better than new," in a sarcastic or boastful manner. The line comes from an old Meineke Muffler commercial from the 1980's.

Quote of the Day: “I got the prop job at Show World"

“I got the prop job at Show World. I have to mop 20 times a night.” Show World is the famous porn emporium on 42nd and 8th. It has peep shows and I imagine that the buddy booths get horrific substances in them.

Term of the Night: “Checks are Bouncing”

“Checks are Bouncing”--nickname for the financially troubled 2001 Broadway revival of “Bells are Ringing”

Term of the Day: keep the crazy at home

keep the crazy at home--keep the personal problems at home

Term of the Night: "Whatever you say, say nothing"

"Whatever you say, say nothing"--don't tell the tech or another authority figure anything of use, give them blarney. From a poem by the Irish poet Seamus Heaney, recounting 'The Troubles" in Northern Ireland. See also: "Say anything, give them nothing."

Term of the Day: pull your punches

pull your punches--to not hit with full strength, to not criticize someone as fully as you can. From the stuntmen in the old Western movies, they were told during fight scenes to pull their punches. The opposite is I pull no punches, meaning I am going to tell you the truth, even if it hurts.

Term of the Day: “Can’t we all get along?”

“Can’t we all get along?”--when the departments are fighting, Rodney King line during the Los Angeles riots. See also: "Aren't we all on the same side?"

Term of the Day: honey badger

honey badger--a stagehand who rips stuff apart without consideration, fear or skill...taken from the classic YouTube video (D. Chisholm, SF)

Term of the night: backstabby

backstabby--an adjective describing a stagehand prone to backstabbing, but not a major shit-stirrer. "Watch your back, he's a bit backstabby when it comes to union politics."

Term of the Night: Runyonesque character

Runyonesque character, Damon Runyon character--eccentric Broadway character. Damon Runyon was a 1920s and 1930's newspaper man whose short stories on the Broadway world inspired the musical "Guys and Dolls." The characters in the short stories included mobsters, showgirls, bookies and Salvation Army charity workers. Often the characters operated in the grey areas of the law, hanging out in nightclubs and bookie joints, looking for the next score. Occasionally people who work in the modern stage industry have some of these characteristics of this bygone era. I knew an alcoholic stagehand who ran book out of a Chinese restaurant. Some of the old Westies who work on Broadway have good stories, as well.

"When the musical 'Jersey Boys' opened in 2005, the son of the late Four Seasons bass player Nick Massi would show up to scalp tickets for the Broadway hit. When he kept trying to approach the cast when he was drunk, he was banned from the theater.  He was a Runyonesque character."

Term of the Day: “Pull rope, get banana”

“Pull rope, get banana”--just doing my job and getting paid

Term of the Day: going to the mattresses

going to the mattresses-- Mob term meaning to dig in for a long fight. Popularized by "The Godfather," but an earlier use was a Mob war in the 1960's in Red Hook, Brooklyn, where "Crazy Joe" Gallo and his crew took on a larger crime family. Mattresses were brought in so multiple gunmen could sleep in the same safe house, ready for street battles. "I am not going to go to the mattresses for this payroll issue. I have to pick my fights."

Term of the Day: Screw me once, shame on you...

Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me-- when dealing with dishonest people (some techs, certain bosses), it is important not to get screwed twice. The second time is your own fault.

Term of the Day: maybe the moon is made out of cheese

maybe the moon is made out of cheese--it will never happen, it will never be true. "Maybe So-and-So may retire, but maybe the moon is made out of cheese."

Term of the Day: house of pain

house of pain--theater with abusive heads or a hostile crew, or a theater famous for big, brutal load-ins.

Overheard Stagehand Line of the Day #41: "I was young and needed the money"

"Like those photos, I was young and needed the money"-- an explanation for why you worked for a thieving producer, a vicious head or some other disreputable person on Broadway.

Overheard Stagehand Line #40: "Ugh, I hate it when he brings his crazy to work"

"Ugh, I hate it when he brings his crazy to work"--referring to an unbalanced stagehand or head, when he or she is having a bad day.

Term of the Night: bird-dog someone

bird-dog someone--to harass a coworker, usually maliciously. From the hunting term for a dog trained to seek out birds for shooting and to retrieve them.

Term of the Day: circling the block

circling the block-- when musicals coming from out of town are waiting for a Broadway house to open. "A revival of 'Dreamgirls' was circling the block for years because there were no musical houses open on Broadway. It never made it back to Broadway."

Term of the Day: chops

chops--skills, ability. "Several of the chorus members had great dance chops, but they didn't have any acting chops.

RIP the Sultan of Smut, Richard Basciano, aged 87

RIP, Richard Basciano, the Sultan of Smut, aged 87-- Richard Basciano, the owner of Show World died on May 1st, 2017. In a career that spanned more than five decades, Basciano, a Baltimore native and a former boxer, ran as many as 12 porn palaces at the height of his Times Square empire in the 1980s. As Times Square changed and gentrified, Basciano made a fortune selling his buildings to the city. He kept a sanitized version of Show World that still remains, straddling 42nd Street and 8th Avenue. He lived in the tower above. Much of his fortune was made off of the dirty quarters of desperate men dropped into peep show slots.

Read today's amazing obituary by Sam Roberts, the May 7, 2017 New York Times at nytimes.com.

Term of the Day: to sit shiva

to sit shiva--to go to a wake, mourning period. From the Hebrew, meaning seven, for the seven-day mourning period.

Term of the Day; "Where are you stacking them?"

"Where are you stacking them?"--you are working too slowly, breaking chops.

Term of the Day: a beef

a beef--a long-running grievance with another person backstage. "The two carpenters had an ongoing beef with each other over who did the last cue."

Overheard Stagehand Line #39: "I haven't been this hated..."

"I haven't been this hated since 3rd grade"-- stagehand referring to the vehement, irrational hatred by an older stagehand in the same theater.