Term of the Day: crash-and-burn

crash-and-burn--major automation screw up or failure, probably causing a chain reaction.

Term of the Day: "Don't worry, you are still on my Christmas card list"

"Don't worry, you are still on my Christmas card list"--after a screw up, reassuring someone that you are not holding a grudge.

Term of the Day: conversational headlock

conversational headlock--when a co-worker talks too much and won't let you get a word in. "Working with Jimmy is like being in a conversational headlock all day."

Term of the Day: "catch of the day"

"catch of the day"--when a head hires different extra men and women on different days of a load in, with varying skill levels, so there is no consistency. The poor contract head doesn't know what he or she is going to get.

Term of the Day: bird-dog someone

bird-dog someone--to harass a coworker, usually maliciously.

Overheard Stagehand Line #17: “When I learn my cues, the show closes.”

“When I finally learn my cues, the show closes”--line by a legendary roadman

Term of the Day: a yutz

a yutz--a stupid, useless person (from Yiddish)....see also mook.

Term of the Day: "You're killing me"

"You're killing me"--exasperated line when somebody gets in your way constantly or is blocking your worksite on stage with scenery or props. The proper response: "If only it were true."

Musician Expression of the Day: "You took the gig--shut up and play"

"You took the gig--shut up and play"--a musician friend told me that sometimes you have to be blunt with whiny fellow musicians...stop complaining about the quality of the conductor or your other bandmates and just play your book.

Term of the Day: (to) Wildhorn someone

(to) Wildhorn someone--The main Broadway reviewers for the New York Times hate the composer Frank Wildhorn, so his musicals always get savaged. Repeated vicious reviews about the same composer or playwright by the same reviewer means that the artist has been Wildhorned.

Term of the Day: winging it

winging it--to repair something without the right materials, to improvise a solution. The original roots may be that "winging it" meant someone was feeding lines to an onstage actor from the wings.

Term of the Day: willing lambs to the slaughter

willing lambs to the slaughter--producers with dubious Broadway vehicles. "When I read in today's Times that a musical about Cher was in the works, I thought of the producers, where Broadway has a 90 percent failure rate, as willing lambs to the slaughter.

Term of the Day: unauthorized choreography

unauthorized choreography--a chorus boy I knew got hurt in the wings while goofing around, not doing the show choreography. We said, "He got hurt doing unauthorized choreography."

Term of the Day: Union lights out

Union lights out--derogatory expression, that non-stagehands (creatives, etc) can’t work on stage when the union stagehands are on break.

Term of the Day: virtual shaping

virtual shaping--asking for work via Facebook or by email, usually by younger stagehands.

Term of the Day: throw me in

throw me in--to publicly fink on someone, reveal culprit behind a mistake.

Term of the Day: top shelf

top shelf--good quality, expensive. Old bar term, where the good liquor is stored. "The producers threw a great opening night party...everything was top shelf."

Term of the Day: equity cots

equity cots--cheap camping cots provided for actors to sleep on. It is a contract requirement, something like one cot per five or six actors.

Term of the Day: "You got to be in it to win it"

"You got to be in it to win it"--old ad tag line for the New York Lottery. "Put your resume for the newest head opening...you got to be in it to win it."

Term of the Day: "If you like him, invite him to dinner"

"If you like him, invite him to dinner": When two stagehands are engrossed in conversation at the expense of working, the crew chief might yell, "If you like him, invite him to dinner," so they go back to work.

Term of the Day: robo-coffee

robo-coffee--Keurig pod coffee or any similar brands. Generous producers provide green room hospitality, which usually consists of a Keurig, and electric kettle and boxes of tea.

Term of the Day: get it on the load out

get it on the load out--when a prop, a flashlight or an important piece of hardware rolls under the show deck, it is often impossible to retrieve. Someone will say, "We'll get it on the loadout,"  meaning the item will be retrieved then, or possibly never.

Term of the Day: George M. Cohan's back pocket

George M. Cohan's back pocket--the planter surrounding the statue of the composer and performer George M. Cohan on the island near 46th and Broadway...during industrial events on the island, which is known as Father Duffy Square, after the heroic World War I chaplain of the Fighting 69th (the Irish unit, many recruited from Hell's Kitchen), bottled water is stored in the planter for the working stagehands. Jimmy Cagney played both George Cohan in "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and a young soldier mentored by Father Duffy in "The Fighting 69th." Cagney was a Broadway hoofer before he became a movie tough guy.

Term of the Day: flush the truck

flush the truck--to empty a truck of all its contents.

Term of the Day: on standby

on standby-- The standby is a principal contract and can only be on standby for principals in the show. (A standby may cover multiple principals. Sometimes by contract, the standby must be within a 15-minute walk of the theater while the performance is on.  A second cover is often an ensemble member who is rehearsed to cover the star role when the first cover is sick or on vacation.

Term of the Day: butter hands

butter hands--stagehand known to drop things.

Term of the Day: bounce the curtain

bounce the curtain--bring the curtain in, then immediately out (on

two-man curtains, the man on the left-hand line flies in the air and comes down quickly) so it gives the appearance of bouncing. Also called an opera bounce or bouncing the main.

Term of the Day: blacklist

blacklist--to prevent someone from getting work on a long-term basis (from the McCarthy era)

Term of the Day: Broadway hungry

Broadway hungry--when a stagehand tries hard to get work on Broadway, after coming from the TV studios or the industrial world, where the pay is lower. "The former apprentice was Broadway hungry, trying to work in the theaters."

Term of the Day: book the flat

book the flat--open a bifold flat so it doesn’t fall over

Term of the Day: blowing their wad

blowing their wad--to run out of money, when the producers run out of money. "The frantic workcalls during the production period were suddenly cancelled. We realized the producers had blown their wad." Of course, there is the dirty meaning as well.

Term of the Day: battlefield conditions

battlefield conditions--during the brutal production period, repairs are made with materials at hand and props are built and scenery rehashed in the alleys of theaters, often during the freezing winter. Sometimes miracles are pulled off in primitive conditions. When asked why a certain decision during production was made, you can mutter "battlefield conditions."

Historical Line of the Day: "Wasn't it your turn to watch him?"

  "Wasn't it your turn to watch him?"--said of a stately, elderly PSM who would wander into the backstage area during the most frantic scene changes, getting in the way.

Term of the Day: his famous disappearing act

his famous disappearing act--a stagehand well known for disappearing for 10 or 20 minutes, then reappearing suddenly at load-ins.

Term of the Day: bleeder

bleeder--small cut, usually on your hand, that won't stop bleeding no matter what you do.

Term of the Day: acts with his props

acts with his props--an actor who may damage his props or puts too much emphasis on them. This actor may be ripe for shunning.

Term of the Day: 20-foot rule

20-foot rule--when an actor or stage manager points out a flaw on a prop standing two feet away from it, you can say, "Hey, use the 20-foot rule," where the first row of the orchestra actually is.

Term of the Day: “What’s the worst thing about having a wife and a mistress?

“What’s the worst thing about having a wife and a mistress? Seeing “Mama Mia” twice. (originally used to be for “Cats”)

Term of the Day: “McHale’s was my off-Broadway credit”

“McHale’s was my off-Broadway credit”--an ex-dancer, ex-McHale’s bartender, now an assistant wardrobe supervisor. (The original McHale's was on 8th Avenue and 46th Street and was torn down in 2006. In the go-go days of the 1980's, it was a de facto hiring hall.)

Term of the Day: “We don’t need no heroes.”

“We don’t need no heroes.”--the late Bill Barry on stagehands doing dangerous things to get things done faster.

Term of the Day: annuity-buster

annuity-buster-- a showgirl. After the divorce, the ex-wife gets half your annuity for all the years you were married. "Bobby Bobby Bobby (an infamous stagehand) showed up to work catatonic when he found that his ex-wife had sucked half his annuity out of his account when the divorce was finalized. He had married an annuity buster."

Term of the Day: BFD

BFD--big fucking deal...jaded sarcasm.

 

Term of the Day: bouncing around

bouncing around--working different places, no full-time job

Term of the Day: brain surgery

brain surgery--"It's not brain surgery"...The work is easy. "It's not brain surgery; it is more like rocket science."

Term of the Day: “Call the hall”

“Call the hall”--calling the replacement room of the union hall, looking for a man to work at that moment.

Term of the Day: cruller

cruller--your skull, your head. a doughnut. Some people say,"Watch your cruller," when a pipe is coming in to the deck.

Term of the day: deaf and dumb (D & D)

deaf and dumb (D & D)-- an old longshoreman's term. "He's deaf and dumb, he didn't hear anything and can't say anything about it."

Historical Term of the Day: Dressers’ Rebellion

Dressers’ Rebellion--At “Check’s Are Bouncing” in 2001, the dressers rebelled against producer Mitchell Maxwell to get paid.

Term of the Day: first sweep

first sweep--prop man's #1, the first assistant. "Bill is the first sweep at that theater." See also: first broom.

Term of the Day: fuck knuckle

fuck knuckle--idiot, affectionate term

 

Term of the Day: Giuliani barriers

Giuliani barriers--metal crowd control barriers put out in front of theaters, named after Mussolini-like former mayor of New York

Term of the Day: go-to guy

go-to guy--hard worker (can be sarcastic)

Term of the Day: get your ticket

get your ticket--get your union card

Term of the Day: good-enough stiff

good-enough stiff--a stiff good enough to sub, but not good enough or connected enough to take a full-time job on Broadway.

Term of the Day: “Greek it out”

“Greek it out”--cover up the brand names on products seen on camera (TV term)

Term of the Day: gravy

gravy--extra benefits. “Working the show is gravy after the load-in.”

Term of the Day: holidays

holidays--missing spots while painting or fireproofing. "I don't want any holidays," said the shop foreman.

Term of the Day: to be piped, to get piped

to be piped, to get piped--hit with a pipe coming in

Term of the Day: T.V. commando

T.V. commando--one who works in television, generally thought to run around a lot, not accomplishing much.

Term of the Day: "SU/SU"

"SU/SU"--"Show up and Shut up," stop complaining about job conditions or a bad boss.

Good Luck Term of the Day: to step in shit

to step in shit--to get a job you did not ask for, good fortune coming out of nowhere. "The young stagehand stepped in shit when the assistant was fired and he got the job."

Term of the Day: keep your cards close to your chest

keep your cards close to your chest--don't spread your plans around, keep your next move under wraps

Term of the Day: spreading the wealth around

spreading the wealth around--when a head deliberately gives calls to multiple stagehands to make sure people have work. Or some heads don't: "I wish he'd spread the wealth around, he only hires the same five stagehands."

Term of the Day: "somebody's got a tax shelter"

"somebody's got a tax shelter"--when the producers are spending money hand over fist on a show that is destined to bomb, some wag might say,  "Somebody's got a tax shelter."

Term of the Day: SOL

SOL--old jazz term, shit outta luck. "You are SOL...we just used the last sidearm."

Term of the Day: "slapped on the pee pee"

"slapped on the pee pee"-- to be reprimanded by stage management for something you did wrong, often in a condescending way. "The men on the fly floor were slapped on the pee pee for talking too loud during a quiet scene."

Term of the Day: “the Scottish play”

“the Scottish play”--say this is so you don’t have bad luck by mentioning that play by name.

Term of the Day: "When you're mad"

"When you're mad"--the all clear, when stagehands are ready to push something big or to do something that requires brute strength.

Term of the Day: "Where are you stacking them?"

"Where are you stacking them?"--you are working too slowly, breaking chops.

Term of the Day: you reap what you sow

you reap what you sow--when your decisions or actions have long term and usually bad results. "The young stagehand's fistfight with an assistant designer got him banned from most industrials. You reap what you sow."

Term of the Day: "You're killing me"

"You're killing me"--exasperated line when somebody gets in your way constantly or is blocking your worksite on stage with scenery or props. The proper response: "If only it were true."

Term of the Day: “Who do I have to fuck to...”

“Who do I have to fuck to...”--statement of exasperation..."Who do I have to fuck to get my payroll signed?"

Term of the Day: "You can't break iron"

"You can't break iron"--When asked how he was recovering from an injury incurred when somebody pushed a roadbox on him, breaking his leg, the stagehand, who'd survived the horrors of Vietnam combat, said with deadpan intensity, "You can't break iron."

Term of the Day: working my last good nerve

working my last good nerve--annoying someone. "You are working my last good nerve." (a line often used by the late and very talented Sal Sclafani, longtime roadman and House Propman at the Hirschfeld Theatre)

Musician Line of the Day: Why is the musicians local named 802?

Why is the musicians local named 802? That’s the time they show up.

Term of the Day: “This is not a job. This is a hostage crisis"

“This is not a job. This is a hostage crisis"...a reference to the long hours worked at the old WWF theater in the Paramount on West 43rd Street.

Term of the Day: "You the boss, I'm the hoss"

"You the boss, I'm the hoss"-- You are in charge, I'm just the worker, ready to do hard work. Overheard from a head who was working as a day laborer for the day.

Term of the Day: walker

walker--archaic term for a musician that is on the payroll, but doesn't have to show up, such as the four musicians once required for a straight play. One producer made four walkers play in the bathroom during intermission.

Term of the Day: underminer

underminer--crew member who may work to undermine his or her boss. "By accident, I hired an underminer on my crew."

Term of the Day: triple threat

triple threat--can’t sing, can’t dance, can’t act (sarcastic use of original meaning, which was a performer who could sing, dance and act). Said by dance captain of "Victor/Victoria" of Raquel Welch.

Term of the Day: site survey

site survey--measuring the stage, the backstage area and the theater and checking out the dressing rooms for incoming shows. Often a bad sign for ailing shows if you see the tech for the next show taking measurements. Screwing up the measurements during this site survey will make the load-in a very expensive nightmare (i.e. the set won't fit).

Term of the Day: senior man

senior man--oldest person or longest cardholder on crew, when head is not around, may give orders.

Term of the Day: road dog

road dog--stagehand who sleeps around on the road.

Term of the Day: rice-bowl issue

rice-bowl issue--jurisdictional dispute over who gets the work. Can be between departments in a theater, different locals or different unions. "It was a rice bowl issue over who sets the tech tables, the carpenter or the prop man."

Term of the Day: pull your punches

pull your punches--to not hit with full strength, to not criticize someone as fully as you can. From the stuntmen in the old Western movies, they were told during fight scenes to pull their punches. The opposite is I pull no punches, meaning I am going to tell you the truth, even if it hurts.

Term of the Day: prop trauma

prop trauma--actor freaks out over prop and becomes a possible candidate for shunning.

Term of the Day: pre-resume culture

pre-resume culture--Resumes still doesn't matter that much in the theaters of Broadway. More often it is your skill set--you can build a spiral staircase or you can fix a Vari-lite, or it is who you are related to, or who is your rabbi.

Term of the Day: perfect load-in weather

perfect load-in weather--it is inevitable that it will snow or there will be a hurricane when you are loading a show in or out. "Ah, perfect load-in weather," you can say sarcastically when the rain is coming down in buckets.

Term of the Night: "shit rolls downhill"

"shit rolls downhill"--abuse travels down the line

Saying of the Day: Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me

Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me-- when dealing with dishonest people (some techs, certain bosses), it is important not to get screwed twice. The second time is your own fault.

Term of the Night: schmo

schmo--boring, stupid person. Originally from Yiddish, meaning moron or cuckold.

Term of the Night: "Say anything, tell them nothing"

"Say anything, tell them nothing"--old Irish saying, good for dealing with shit-stirrers. Do not give any information that is useful. Give them blarney.

Term of the Night: sandbar

sandbar--incident or snag that stops a load-in or part of a load-in cold in its tracks. "PRG sent us a broken controller, so we weren't to operate motors to lower the empty road boxes into the trap. It was the sandbar that stopped everything."

Term of the Night: robbing Peter to pay Paul

robbing Peter to pay Paul-- when desperate for hardware, you have to cannibalize or steal from other parts of the theater. "To finish the seat call, I had to rob Peter to pay Paul, taking seat parts from other parts of the orchestra."

Term of the Day: can’t get arrested

can’t get arrested--hard time getting hired

Term of the Night: "piss on that sandbag"

"piss on that sandbag"--add more weight(sand) to that sandbag (Sarah Gowan, Sapsis Rigging)

Term of the Night: (to) pile on

(to) pile on--often following the lead of a bad head, multiple stagehands will harass another stagehand. Sometimes it is in fun, sometimes it is vicious harassment

Term of the Day: "I don't know. I'm not paid to know"

"I don't know. I'm not paid to know"-- the ultimate Indian response...I'm just doing what I'm told to do, I don't have any answers.

Term of the Day: prop genius

prop genius--stagehand who usually works in props, who only works in props.

Term of the Day: paper

paper--comp tickets. ”They papered the house.” Standard practice during previews and when reviewers are in, but a very bad sign during a normal run. See: producers’ pep talk

Term of the Day: "paid by the hour"

"paid by the hour"--when a skilled stagehand's talents are wasted doing menial labor, like sorting garbage, it is a good thing to mutter, "I'm paid by the hour."

Term of the Day: no stripes

no stripes--"I have no stripes," that means that I am not a boss. Conversely, a know-it-all stagehand may start barking orders, and may be asked sarcastically, "Ooh, who gave you stripes?" Also: No feathers.

Term of the Day: Netflix role

Netflix role--when an older character actor has a role where they appear onstage for two five-minute bits and the bows, that is a Netflix role, where they can watch Netflix movies in their dressing room for most of the show.

Term of the Day: kowtow

kowtow--to bow down, to show servile deference. From the Chinese.

Term of the Day: I pick stuff up, I put stuff down

I pick stuff up, I put stuff down-- the stagehand life of humping stuff.

Term of the Day: injured reserve list

injured reserve list--when half the stagehands in a department claim (or exaggerate) injuries (back, neck, wrist, etc.) that prevent them from unloading trucks during a load in. "Five of the guys in the prop department were on the injured reserve list at “Dracula,” so that left three of us to unload the steel."

Term of the Day: blacklist

blacklist--to prevent someone from getting work on a long-term basis (from the McCarthy era)

Term of the Day: kaibosh

kaibosh--to put a stop to something, an absolute stop. "The PSM put the kaibosh on texting backstage." (This word may really be Irish[Gaelic], not Yiddish.)

Expression of the Day: "I only work for assholes..."

"I only work for assholes if there is costume money involved"--who wouldn't want to make $184 a week for changing your pants?

Term of the Day: honey badger

honey badger--a stagehand who rips stuff apart without consideration, fear or skill...taken from the classic YouTube video (D. Chisholm, SF)

Term of the Day: horse shoes

horse shoes--custom-made wooden cover to protect sawhorses while cutting

Term of the day: humping scenery

humping scenery--moving a lot of scenery, or any kind of hard, repetitious work...”We humped the couches up five flights of stairs.”

Term of the Day: hit with a rolled up newspaper on the nose

hit with a rolled up newspaper on the nose--when you are reprimanded by your boss

Term of the Day: good government job

good government job--job on a long-running show. Dependable pay, like the post office or some other civil service job. "Working on 'Phantom' is a good government job."

Term of the Day: ghostlight

ghostlight--keeps the ghosts of failed shows away; also, a safety light for firemen) ...on deck, after curtain is pulled out when house clears.

Term of the Day: a Broadway standard

a Broadway standard--an actor or actress who performs frequently on Broadway and always delivers the goods. "Brian D'Arcy James is a Broadway standard, always delivering great performances, from 'Something Rotten' to playing King George in 'Hamilton.'"

Term of the Day: to break in with

 to break in with--the stagehands you start in the business with. "You know I broke in with the guys on the CBS ramp crew."

Term of the Day: props and crafts

props and crafts--making paper goods for a show, tools required are limited to scissors and glue sticks. "Get me some crafty people for tomorrow...it is a day of props and crafts."

Term of the Day: producer pep talk

producer pep talk--cast and crew pep talk onstage, “We are going to run it,” closing notice then goes up next week

Term of the Night: Phantom lift

Phantom lift: When a stagehand is pretending too vigorously to lift a heavy piece of scenery and is letting others do the real work. See also: soft hands.

Term of the Day: one-way sense of humor

one-way sense of humor--can make snarky, cruel jokes but doesn't understand them when they are returned.

Term of the Day: "Never Missed a Performance"

"Never Missed a Performance"--this is the motto of the Theatre District firehouse on West 48th Street and 8th Avenue, which includes Engine 54, Ladder 4, as well as the chief of the 9th Battalion of the FDNY. The attacks at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001 started at 8:48am, which coincided with the shift change at firehouses across the city.  At Engine 54, Ladder 4, both the incoming and outgoing crews crammed into their rigs to save lives at the World Trade Center. Fifteen officers and men, including the battalion chief and his driver, made the supreme sacrifice that day when the Twin Towers collapsed. The firehouse also uses the comedy and drama masks as part of their emblem. 

Term of the Day: like rats in a box

like rats in a box--to play men off each other, no room in the basement of a theater, so people begin to argue. "Bobby Bobby Bobby treated his men like rats in a box, playing them off each other."

 

Term of the Day: little swinging dick

little swinging dick—stagehand with big mouth and little power. Can easily be shut down.

Term of the Day: "Let's blow this bar mitzvah"

"Let's blow this bar mitzvah"--Let's get out of here.

Term of the Day: laid and paid

laid and paid--happy stagehand, or a usually mopey stagehand who shows a brief moment of happiness. "He looks like he just got laid and paid."

Term of the Day: keep jurisdiction

keep jurisdiction--to ensure a stagehand presence in certain places in the theater,  i.e. preventing stage managers and interns from doing stagehand work. "The house propman ensured that props carried out all work in the dressing rooms, keeping jurisdiction for the local."

Term of the Day: junior shit-stirrer

junior shit-stirrer-young stagehand who tries to stir up controversy without guile or skill. Often not aware of the alliances that he or she is stepping on.

Crucifixion Term of the Day: Jesus nails

Jesus nails--any nail 4” or longer (Sapsis Rigging)

Term of the Day: "If you shit on your job, sometimes your job will shit on you"

"If you shit on your job, sometimes your job will shit on you"-- the risk of firing if you are blatantly lazy and don't work.

Box Office Term of the Day; diggers

diggers--people who buy large blocks of tickets for ticket resellers when hot new shows start selling tickets. "The box office treasurer limited sales to 10 tickets a day per person, to try to thwart the diggers who buy large blocks of tickets for ticket resellers. "They buy weekend and holiday tickets," she said. "They are digging out the show."

Term of the Day: "clear for talent"

"clear for talent"--sarcastic and usually friendly term used when actors are walking through a group of stagehands.

Term of the Day: "fuck the road...this is Broadway"

"fuck the road...this is Broadway"...standard response to a roadman who repeatedly bleats "This is how we did it on the road."

Expression of the Day: "Don't pee on my back and tell me it's raining"

"Don't pee on my back and tell me it's raining"--great line for confronting a boss or another stagehand who is trying to force you into a bad situation by misrepresenting what will happen.

Term of the Day: cluster fuck

cluster fuck--things are all screwed up, boxed in, big disaster

Term of the Day: work me like a rented mule

work me like a rented mule--sarcastic comment when it's a hard day of work. Also: "treated me like a red-headed stepchild"

Term of the Day: word of mouth

word of mouth--gossip about a show. Positive word of mouth can pump energy and ticket sales into an iffy show. Negative word of mouth can chip away at a healthy show and eventually kill it.

Term of the Day: wearing blacks

wearing blacks--black clothes, required for mimes and road stagehands

Term of the Day: virtual shaping

virtual shaping--asking for work via Facebook or by email, usually by younger stagehands.

Term of the Day: vultures start circling

vultures start circling--when a stagehand or musician is on the cusp of being fired, people will start coming by, looking to take their jobs. "The vultures started circling when the word was on the street that the concertmaster at 'Lion King' was going to be fired." "The show wasn't even out of previews when the producers for a show looking for a theater started asking about the theater. The vultures started circling while the show was still alive."

Term of the Day: (the) usual suspects

(the) usual suspects--stagehands you'd expect to see at a load in, working for a particular head. "At the load in, who did you see working in Electrics? Oh, the usual suspects." Taken from the 1995 Kevin Spacey movie.

Term of the Day: too handy

too handy--when a dancer put his or her hands in an indelicate place on another dancer. "The female ensemble member remarked that one of the chorus boys was a bit too handy when they danced together."

Term of the Day: throw a spanner in the works

throw a spanner in the works-- to deliberately create mayhem. "The carpenter threw a spanner in the works by not stacking his platforms off the deck, screwing the electrician 'til after lunch."

Term of the Day: they're not done flogging us

they're not done flogging us-- no end to the work calls during the production period. While doing production on a Broadway show, there is a seemingly endless period of 8am work calls. During the production period of the unsuccessful 2016 musical "Shuffle Along," the crew worked for 33 days straight, with many 8am calls.

Term of the Day: think happy thoughts

think happy thoughts--when you are desperately hoping that a repair will work or a damaged electrical unit will come back to life or a remote unit with a defective battery will charge, someone might say, "Think happy thoughts."

Term of the Day: take a picture

take a picture-- you’re fired, you are not going to see this place again

Term of the Day: stand behind

stand behind--when someone comes into the Local, being sworn in at a Sunday union meeting, their rabbis and friends stand behind them.

Term of the Day: STW

STW--"straight to wardrobe." When an actor or an actress slays at an audition and gets the role, the casting agent or director might write on his/her resume, "STW," meaning the job is theirs, measure them for a costume.

Term of the Day: Straight White Way

Straight White Way--after the success of "Spamalot" on Broadway, the New York Times wrote on April 10, 2005 about the phenomenon of straight men flocking to a Broadway show without their wives. It is a rarely repeated demographic on Broadway. The term is a satire of "Great White Way."

Term of the Day: stop clause

stop clause--a clause in a theater-rental contract that says if a show dips below a set financial amount in ticket sales for two weeks in a row, the theater owners have the option of forcing the production to close and vacate the theater. "Despite rave reviews, the recent revival of 'Side Show' dipped below $550,000 a week in ticket sales, so the theater owners exercised their stop clause in the theater-rental contract." Usually, the theater owners have a more promising show waiting to come in.

(see the New York Times article from December 13, 2014)

Term of the Night: stick the knife in

stick the knife in--premeditated revenge. "When the designer finally screwed up, I got the chance to stick the knife in."

Term of the Day: stay in character

stay in character--to maintain the accent or the demeanor of the role you are playing onstage and sometimes even offstage. "Two actor friends of mine stayed in character, using their English accents from the show, while picking up their cars after the show."

Term of the Night: stagehand torture device

stagehand torture device--badly designed prop or piece of scenery that is handled by a stagehand that may cause an ongoing or permanent injury to the stagehands handling it. "The bed unit in the recent production of 'Betrayal' was so heavy that the nightly shift turned it into a stagehand torture device."

Term of the Night: Stage Door Johnny

Stage Door Johnny--civilian loverboy. In the old days, an admirer or boyfriend of a chorus girl. A modern version could be a Stage Door Janey.

Term of the Night: road dog

road dog--stagehand who sleeps around on the road.

Revenge term of the Night: "Revenge is a dish best served cold"

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"--old Sicilian saying.

Term of the Night: to poach

to poach--to steal a good stagehand from another boss, to take without permission. "During the loadout season, the head of one theater poachedseveral good carpenters from another head."

Term of the Day: Polish Tea Room

Polish Tea Room--Edison Cafe, closed by the greedy landlords of the Edison Hotel at the end of 2014. Famous for its mixed clientele, including stagehands, producers and playwrights. Neil Simon used to eat there. Its matzah ball soup was famous.

Term of the Day: pirate eye

pirate eye—shutting one eye before you go onstage during a blackout. When you open both eyes onstage, you are acclimated to the dark and can grab relevant props or pull scenery.

Term of the Day: please-and-thank-you house

please-and-thank-you house--houses with well-mannered heads. Yes, even on Broadway, good manners can survive.

Term of the Day: picture call

picture call--actors or dancers will hold a pose as the curtain goes out for bows.

Term of the Day: phoning it in

phoning it in--actor/actress doing bare minimum

Term of the Day: Philly loadout

Philly loadout--push the gear out of the theater and slam the door shut

Term of the Day: pratfall

pratfall--an intentional comic fall, physical comedy involving falling and tripping.

Term of the Day: audience plant

audience plant--in the old days, stars had the right to have a certain number of “plants” in the audience to encourage laughter (may be myth)

Term of the day: plunge knife

plunge knife--stiletto-style trick knife that retracts when an actor is stabbed with it,  a prop knife.

Riposte of the Day: "Speak more slowly, I can't understand you"

"Speak more slowly, I can't understand you"--how to mock a condescending contractman or tech.

Term of the Day: second banana

second banana--a comedian in a vaudeville or burlesque theater who plays a secondary role. An actor who plays a secondary role to the leading man. A sidekick. "Tony Roberts has had a brilliant career playing second bananas, to Woody Allen in 'Annie Hall' and Al Pacino in 'Serpico.'"

Term of the Day: schmutz

schmutz(Yiddish)--dust, dust bunnies in unclean area, big chunks of dust that stick to stagehands working in the ceiling.

Term of the Day: a skosh

a skosh--a little bit, move it a little bit. From the Japanese sukoshi, which also means a little bit.

Term of the Day: carpenter focus

carpenter focus--when the carpenters smack into a low-hanging light ladder or a light boom, usually with a large rolling unit, changing the focus on the instruments

Term of the Day: butter hands

butter hands--stagehand known to drop things.

Punchline of the Day: "And what, quit show business?"

And what, quit show business?--the punchline to the old elephant joke. To be said when doing a really disgusting task.

Overheard Actor Line #2: When you see someone talking to themselves..."

"When you see someone talking to themselves in New York, they are either insane or an actor running their lines."

Term of the Day: running lines

running lines--when actors practice their lines together, off in the wings during a rehearsal

Term of the Day: to do the heavy lifting

to do the heavy lifting- -a day or period of hard work (unloading trucks, carrying couches to the fifth floor)..."we had some heavy lifting to do," "We already did the heavy lifting.” Can also be sarcastic.

Overheard Actor Line #1: "You're an MFA...!"

"You're an MFA...a Motherfucking Actor!"

Overhead Stagehand Line #15: "I oughta teach...

"I oughta tech a class at Equity called 'New York Sarcasm for Midwestern Chorus Boys.'"

Term of the Day: a brick

a brick--stage weight, 25lb or 40lb lead, “throw another brick on it,” “throw a lead on.” A leaf is a 1/4 brick

Yiddish Term of the Day: schlub

schlub--stupid, useless or unattractive person.

Term of the Day: full freight

full freight--full price. "House seats are great, but  you have to pay the full freight."

Term of the Day: cutie pie

cutie pie--sleazy, manipulative person. "A couple pf cutie pies showed up for their handicapped seats, but they were walking, so the box office charged them the full freight."

Term of the Day: headbuster

headbuster--lighting unit hanging on an offstage boom that is perfect for whacking cast and crew in the head. (Sapsis Rigging) See also: kneebuster

Term of the day: to futz around

to futz around--to waste time. (From the Yiddish arumfatzen, to fart about.) "I was futzing around in the basement before my first cue."

Term of the Day: fugazi

fugazi--Italian Mafia slang for a fake item, or a phony.

Term of the Day: fragile cookie

fragile cookie--person barely holding it together

Term of the Day: Don't show your teeth until you have to

Don't show your teeth until you have to--controlling signs of aggression in a confrontation.

Term of the Day: “Diva Las Vegas”

“Diva Las Vegas”—pejorative term applied by a wardrobe supervisor to a female lead with a long list of complaints. 

Term of the Day: deck man

deck man--stagehand famous for building stages, a master carpenter. The late Charlie Rasmussen, a Shubert carpenter, was rumored to have leveled his decks with playing cards.

Term of the Day: break your shovel

break your shovel--destroy contact, lose job

Term of the Day: Broadway hungry

Broadway hungry--when a stagehand tries hard to get work on Broadway, after coming from the TV studios or the industrial world, where the pay is lower. "The former apprentice was Broadway hungry, trying to work in the theaters."

Term of the Day: breaking the fourth wall

breaking the fourth wall-- when a character addresses the audience

Survival Yiddish for the New York Stagehand

Local #1 has had a long and proud tradition of Jewish stagehands, and by working in New York, where many of the great playwrights are Jewish, like David Mamet, Wendy Wasserstein, Neil Simon and Arthur Miller, you can't help picking up some Yiddish. Many of the useful terms are variations on the word penis.

alta kaka-- old timer. Can be used to describe the "blue-hair matinees" or an old stagehand. "The bathroom line is always packed with alta kakas at the Wednesday matinee."
chutzpah--nerve, guts. 
fahcocked-- screwed up, messy, crooked
fatootsed--(Yiddish, or maybe fake Yiddish) to be distracted, to be frustrated. "I was all fatootsed learning the new prop track."
(to) finagle something--to get something by bargaining or trickery. "I was able to finagle a can of black paint from the house propman by giving him two dozen shackles."
glitch--minor malfunction. 
goy--non-Jew. goyem is the plural
kaibosh--to put a stop to something, an absolute stop. "The PSM put the kaibosh on texting backstage." (This word may really be Irish[Gaelic], not Yiddish.)
kibbitz--(Yiddish )to chat, to offer advice, often unwanted, when another person is working. A kibbitzer is someone who chats too much on the job or offers unwanted advice.
kvetch--to complain habitually and loudly.
mashugana--craziness, silliness.
mensch--good man. Honorable person. High compliment.
mitzvah--a commandment, a charitable act.
nebbish--nerd, pitiful person. "Despite the hipster glasses, the dramaturge was a real nebbish."
noodge--pest. "The young stagehand was a real noodge...he kept on borrowing the same tools."

nudnik--annoying person, bore.
on the valoop--off center, crooked. "That painting is on the valoop...please straighten it." "The designer wants that poster hung on the valoop intentionally." Also, fahcocked
putz--dickhead (penis)
schlemeil--awkward person, moron, somebody who can be tricked
schlepp--the move things, to carry heavy things. "Help me schlepp the couch up to the fifth floor." schleppers (n)--man who does scut work, moving man. "Take two schleppers and move the couch upstairs."
schlock--badly made. "The new musical closed because it was sentimental schlock, not because the leads were bad."
schlub--stupid, useless or unattractive person.
schmaltz, schmaltzy--literally rendered chicken fat, but means overly sentimental material.  
schmata--a cloth covering that you throw over something, that can be used to cover a chair or valuable prop. Used when you sit shiva (waking the dead) to cover mirrors.
schmegegge--annoying person, full of baloney, blowhard.
schmo--stupid person.
schmooze--to chat someone up, to make small talk, possibly schmoozing with heads to get work.
schmendrick--stupid person
schmuck--dick, asshole, idiot, loser. The great utility derogatory word in Yiddish. "That was a schmucky comment."
schmutz--dirt, a thick layer of dust. "I was covered in schmutz when I came down from the false ceiling." "You have schmutz on your face."
schnorrer-layabout, lazy person.
shiksa--non-Jewish woman, often blonde WASP ideal woman. Can be derogatory term.
sitting shiva--waking the dead.
yenta--gossip.
(a) yutz--a stupid, useless person
zaftig--curvy, describing a woman with curves, a compliment. "She's a zaftig chorine."

Term of the Night: "Snatch the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper"

"Snatch the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper"--when the disciple can snatch the pebble from the master's hand, he is ready.  Can be used as a sarcastic reference while training a young stagehand. Old line in the1970's TV show "Kung Fu," where in politically incorrect fashion, David Carradine played a Chinese kung-fu master in exile in the Old West.

Term of the Night: "slapped on the pee pee"

"slapped on the pee pee"-- to be reprimanded by stage management for something you did wrong, often in a condescending way. "The men on the fly floor were slapped on the pee pee for talking too loud during a quiet scene."

Term of the Day: signature fuck up

signature fuck up--mistake always repeated by particular person

Term of the Night: shush Nazi, shush police

shush Nazi, shush police--overaggressive stage managers, who shush people backstage or in the basement. Sometimes the voices they hear are just in their heads.

Term of the Day: "they wanted to go another way"

 "they wanted to go another way"--you didn't get the job, you didn't get on the show, you got booted from the job.

Term of the Night: showstopper

showstopper: a rousing high-energy dance number or solo that literally stops the show with the volume of applause. Or a major mechanical screw up or crew member mistake that literally forces the show to stop until the error is corrected. In the most extreme versions, the house curtain is brought in and the SM makes an announcement along the lines of "There will be a short delay."

Term of the night: a shitstorm

a shitstorm--chaotic, unpleasant situation. Usually dangerous, unexpected trouble. "When the soundman turned off the com system and left after his last cue, it was a shitstorm for the last 20 minutes of the show, with no headset communication between the SMs and automation."

Term of the Night: "Let's go get an olive soup"

"Let's go get an olive soup"-a martini, "Let's go get a martini."

Term of the Night: jump ship before it sinks

jump ship before it sinks--when the contract men and women on a show start leaving for other jobs as the ticket sales start going down.

Term of the Day: "I've seen a lot of buses go over me at this show"

"I've seen a lot of buses go over me at this show"--hostile work environment where people are routinely thrown in by others...told from the perspective of somebody thrown under the bus. see also: thrown under the bus, thrown in.

Term of the Day; "He's got a heart of gold, but a head like concrete"

"He's got a heart of gold, but a head like concrete"--said of a self-destructive stagehand, who is well meaning, but makes foolish decisions, often getting himself fired from different venues.

Term of the Day: French alteration

French alteration--placebo alteration for a troublesome actor, calming them down by pretending to fix a costume (from SAPSIS Rigging)

Term of the Day: force majeur

force majeur--act of nature, acceptable delay without overtime

Term of the Day: elder tantrum

elder tantrum--sudden, usually inappropriate bursts of anger from older stagehands, set in their ways.

Term of the Day: global note

global note--company-wide note. "The director said he had a global note for the cast, that they should all look startled at the breaking glass sound effect."

Expression of the Day: "Happy to be here!"

"Happy to be here!"--as Rome burns and the load-in goes south, don't complain or pick sides. Put a broad smile on your face and say, "Happy to be here!" It is a personal shield more appropriate for Indians than heads. Also, you can say when there is blood on the floor, "Happy to have the job."

Term of the Day: good provider

good provider--stagehand good at supporting family (mob term)

Term of the Day: to get panned

to get panned--to get a bad review. ""In his typical self-indulgent reviewing style, Ben Brantley panned 'American Psycho' while still extolling the virtues of Ben Walker's hardbody."

Term of the Day: fight captain

fight captain--fight consultant, choreographs fights. On a production with a large cast, it may be a designated actor.

Term of the Day: fade into the woodwork

fade into the woodwork--to not be noticed

Term of the Day: musical house

musical house--a large Broadway theater that commonly stages musicals, like the Gershwin (home of "Wicked"), the Minskoff ("The Lion King"), the New Amsterdam ("Aladdin"), the Shubert or the Lyric. Since musicals are so expensive (at least $12 million and often much more), producers will try to put musicals in houses that are 1400 seats and above. These houses also have much larger orchestra pits.

Term of the Day: (to be) elevated

(to be) elevated--when a Broadway head proves him/herself at a small house, they may be elevated to a more lucrative, larger theater

Term of the Day: dumb end

dumb end--straight casters on a moving piece or a dolly. The smart end has swivel casters

Term of the Day: Edgewater Boys

Edgewater Boys--New Jersey stagehands from the rough waterfront town of Edgewater, wear shorts until December.

Term of the Day: to get dinged

to get dinged--to get hit, usually on the head

Term of the Day: Debbie Downer

Debbie Downer-- constant complainer. SHOULD be used for both sexes. Based on the old SNL skit.

Term of the Day: "clear for talent"

"clear for talent"--sarcastic and usually friendly term used when actors are walking through a group of stagehands.

Term of the Day: chewing the scenery

chewing the scenery--overacting. See also: "tooth-marks on the scenery."

Term of the Day: spin control

spin control--when something is screwed up and you get in front of the problem, minimizing the impact. "I took the director off to the side for spin control, telling him that he would not have his taxidermied rabbit in time for the first preview, explaining it was a distribution problem. I did not want him to explode onstage."

Term of the Day: "much, much better than new"

"much, much better than new"--after a repair onstage or after a paint call, where the set looks all bright and new, a stagehand or a scenic may say, "Much, much better than new," in a sarcastic or boastful manner. The line comes from an old Meineke Muffler commercial from the 1980's. 

Term of the Day: moxie

moxie--guts, pushiness, persistence in the face of rejection. "The young dancer had the moxie to come backstage and introduce herself to the choreographer during tech." Amazing etymology...I always thought it was a Yiddish word, but it was the name of a bitter soft-drink popular in the 1930s. The word itself is believed to come from a Native American tribe from Maine, whose meaning is "dark water."

Term of the Day: monkeys trying to fuck a football-

monkeys trying to fuck a football--major screw up involving multiple players. Fun to watch. "Watching the new carpenter and his inexperienced assistant fit the oversized rolling unit through the tiny stage door was like watching monkeys trying to fuck a football."

Term of the Day: maybe the moon is made out of cheese

maybe the moon is made out of cheese--it will never happen, it will never be true. "Maybe So-and-So may retire, but maybe the moon is made out of cheese."

Term of the Day: counting the house

counting the house--Looking out into the house surreptitiously, to estimate the box office success of the show.

Term of the Day: ginsu

ginsu--two-sided Japanese saw, name comes from old knife infomercial

Term of the Day: came in the door poor

came in the door poor-- when a show makes it to Broadway, but has financial problems which affects the ability to maintain the show, hold work calls and to have new costumes made.

Term of the Day: another day at the office

another day at the office--something to say after doing a dangerous or particularly dirty job. "After climbing down from a long day working on a particularly dangerous set of scaffolding, the stagehand said, 'Ah, another day at the office.'"

Term of the Day: from the trades

from the trades-- when a stagehand comes from another  related industry like construction, the carpenters' union or the electrical workers (IBEW)...usually means that he or she comes in with specific skills, usually a recommendation. "Oh yeah, the new carpenter at the load in comes from the trades."

Term of the Night: "It's not my circus, it's not my monkeys."

"It's not my circus, it's not my monkeys." Whatever fuck up is happening right now is not my responsibility.

Expression of the Day: "It's an old man's job, but I'll grow into it"

"It's an old man's job, but I'll grow into it"--A relative of mine got a plum job as a TV news studio head, which is a "lights on, lights off" studio. Somebody said it was an old man's job. His response was, "It's an old man's job, but I'll grow into it."

Expression of the Day: "Can't use a bird with a busted wing"

"Can't use a bird with a busted wing"--head comment to a stagehand injured at the same job site the day before.

Term of the Day: isle of sloth

isle of sloth--theater or TV department where the stagehands have no interest in working, often stocked with badly trained children of stagehands. "The Outside Prop Room at NBC was a real isle of sloth, where the young stagehand wouldn't stop watching TV as the interns raided the prop bins."

Expression of the Day: "What's the time? Overtime."

"What's the time? Overtime."--the joy of heading into overtime.

Term of the Day: "I'll keep you in mind"

"I'll keep you in mind"--if a head says this, he or she will never hire you.

Term of the Day: ice cream line

ice cream line--cotton line and bucket thrown down from fly floor, to pull up paychecks or other items (cups of coffee, ice cream)

Overheard Stagehand Line #14: "I only work for assholes..."

"I only work for assholes if there is costume money involved"--who wouldn't want to make $184 a week for changing your pants?

Term of the Day: honey badger

honey badger--a stagehand who rips stuff apart without consideration, fear or skill...taken from the classic YouTube video (D. Chisholm, SF)

Term of the Day: header, take a header

header, take a header--to fall head first, usually off a ladder. A header is also a horizontal scenic piece bolted to the top of a flat or a door.

Term of the Day: to futz around

to futz around--to waste time. (From the Yiddish arumfatzen, to fart about.) "I was futzing around in the basement before my first cue."

Term of the Day: drop character

drop character--for an actor to lose focus, to go out of character.

Term of the Day: dressing

dressing--nonmoving items that are attached to the set by props during the load in.

Historical Moment of the Day: Dressers’ Rebellion

Dressers’ Rebellion--At “Check’s Are Bouncing” in 2001, the dressers rebelled against producer Mitchell Maxwell to get paid.

Term of the Day: cluster fuck

cluster fuck--things are all screwed up, boxed in, big disaster

Term of the night: climb the trucks

climb the trucks--get up on the running boards of nonunion trucks, intimidate drivers during union disputes.

Term of the Day: Chicken Little

Chicken Little--a doom-and-gloom stagehand, always sees the sky as falling, can rip the silver-lining out of every cloud.

Term of the Day: full monty

full monty--full male nudity, from the movie "The Full Monty," which later became a hit Broadway musical.

Term of the Day: best thing since sliced bread

best thing since sliced bread--marveling at a new innovation or a talented stagehand. Usually very sarcastic.

Term of the Day: bringing him along

bringing him along--to mentor or help a young stagehand, to bring up to speed.

Term of the Day: Broadway penance

Broadway penance--where an actor toils on Broadway for years before he or she gets more lucrative (and celebrity making) roles in movies and TV."He was around a long time, doing his Broadway penance before he got cast on 'House of Cards.'"

Term of the Day: "heard it on the Erie"

"heard it on the Erie"--to discuss gossip with someone, often the subject of that gossip. "I heard it on the Erie that you got the head's job at the Booth."

Term of the Day: glory days

glory days--old stories, usually very stale, told by old stagehands, about the peak of their careers, which happened many years ago.

Term of the night: head up So-and-So's ass

head up So-and-So's ass--an asskisser.

Term of the Night: hammer

hammer--obnoxious stagehand who enforces rules of a head, often lacking essential skills.

Term of the Day: give 'em the hook

give 'em the hook--take a bad performer off the stage. Old vaudeville bit, literally using a hook to take a singer or comedian offstage.

Term of the Day: museum piece

 museum piece--show that does not age well, or losses some relevance over time, like "Rent" or "Cats." "Five years after it opened, 'Rent' was already a museum piece...the squatters of the Lower East Side had been mostly cleared out."

Term of the Day: donkey/narrowback

donkey/narrowback--Irish immigrant/Irish American...narrowbacks have much less muscular backs from less hard work. For me, this comes from the Irish influences of Local #1.

Term of the Day: character actor/actress

character actor/actress--actor who plays important comic or dramatic roles, that is neither a lead nor a member of the chorus. Often actresses that age out of playing ingenues, and actors that may not have the charisma or looks to be leading men.

Term of the Night: "catch of the day"

"catch of the day"--when a head hires different extra men and women on different days of a load in, with varying skill levels, so there is no consistency. The poor contract head doesn't know what he or she is going to get.

Term of the Day: "Bury this"

"Bury this"--order from the head to get rid of a hamper, a cut piece of scenery or a dead prop, buried deep in the basement or against the upstage wall, possibly blocked by other items.

Term of the Day: battlefield conditions

battlefield conditions--during the brutal production period, repairs are made with materials at hand and props are built and scenery rehashed in the alleys of theaters, often during the freezing winter. Sometimes miracles are pulled off in primitive conditions. When asked why a certain decision during production was made, you can mutter "battlefield conditions."

Term of the Day: box-office poison

box-office poison--a leading actor or actress who is capable of killing a show. Sometimes, a crew member who has worked on a string of bombs will call themselves box-office poison. "The young stage manager, who had worked on a string of bombs, called herself 'box-office poison.'" "Baywatch's David Hasselhoff was box-office poison for the original 'Jekyll and Hyde' in the late 1990's."

Term of the Night: bus and truck

bus and truck--tour with one-week stops or less.

Term of the Night: butter hands

butter hands--stagehand known to drop things.

Term of the Night: blacklist

blacklist--to prevent someone from getting work on a long-term basis (from the McCarthy era)

Term of the Day: bird-dog someone

bird-dog someone--to harass a coworker, usually maliciously.

Term of the Day: to do a pontius pilate

to do a pontius pilate--to wash your hands of a matter. Like Pontius Pilate in the Bible.

Term of the Day: bounce the curtain

bounce the curtain--bring the curtain in, then immediately out (on

two-man curtains, the man on the left-hand line flies in the air and comes down quickly) so it gives the appearance of bouncing. Also called an opera bounce or bouncing the main.