Term of the Night: to Marie Kondo your crew

to Marie Kondo your crew--to get rid of your crew, because they don't bring you joy. "That head? When the show ended, he got rid of his crew. He Marie Kondo'ed his crew because they didn't bring him joy." A reference to the Japanese anti-clutter specialist Marie Kondo, who says if your possessions don't bring you joy, get rid of them.

Term of the Day: "Let me think about this for a few minutes"

"Let me think about this for a few minutes" -- code for "I'm going to the alley to call the business agent." When presented with an unsavory ask by the tech, say this to buy the time to go out to the alley to call the business agent.

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #68: "Tell the tech he went behind the set with a piece of wood."

YOUNG STAGEHAND: "The tech is looking for a particular carpenter. What should I say?

CYNICAL OLD STAGEHAND: "Tell the tech he went behind the set with a piece of wood."

Term of the Day: out-assholing each other

out-assholing each other--when two stagehands ramp up attacks on each other. "At a job once, I was caught between a drunk and a dry drunk. They hated each other and spent all their time trying to out-asshole each other." 

Term of the Day: house of pain

house of pain--theater with abusive heads or a hostile crew, or a theater famous for big, brutal load-ins.

Term of the Day: the long knives are out

the long knives are out--an imminent, quick and brutal end. "After the psychotic soundman turned on the house electrician who had protected him, the long knives were out and he was out before week's end.

Term of the Day: loading in sideways

loading in sideways--when the load-in of a show is already fucked up, with major technical issues and possibly financial ones. Does not bode well for a long run.

Term of the Day: bird-dog someone

 bird-dog someone--to harass a coworker, usually maliciously.

Term of the Day: whiff of a sociopath

whiff of a sociopath--when you realize the person you are working with is quite off and possibly dangerous, someone with sociopathic tendencies. "I only met two guys like him in the last 20 years, but when I worked with the ex-bank teller all day, he talked nonstop about creepy things. I came away with the whiff of a sociopath off of him."

Term of the Night: Theater of Second Chances

Theater of Second Chances--a  non-profit theater where the  heads are known to hire stagehands who have screwed up and have burned bridges elsewhere.

Term of the Day: a white whale

 a white whale--an obsession that may end up destroying you. "I hate that guy...I have been trying to make sure he doesn't get his card time. It's become my white whale." This is a reference to "Moby Dick."

Stagehand Warning of the Night: "know your assholes"

"know your assholes"-- "That middle-aged stagehand? She's famous for attacking other women on the job. You've been warned. Know your assholes."

Expression of the Day: "If you don't have anything..."

"If you don't have anything nice to say, sit next to me during break"--regarding the average stagehand's love of gossip.

Stagehands I Have Known #3: Le Miza Bob

 Le Miza Bob--a miserable stagehand named Bob, always complaining and sucking the life out of those he works with. A takeoff on the title of the never-ending musical “Le Miz.” In Local #1, we have a Le Miza Bob working Legit and one at Jimmy Fallon’s “Late Show.”

Overheard Stagehand Line #52: "...it's like he works at Baskin Robbins, but only knows how to scoop vanilla."

I was trying to explain the new PSM to my wife. I said, "He's limited...it's like he works at Baskin Robbins, but only knows how to scoop vanilla. And only one scoop in a cup."

Term of the Day: string-puller

string-puller--in some theaters or TV studio, the weak department head may not be the power. The string-puller may be an extra man who does the hiring or makes the policy decisions.

Overheard Stagehand Line #64: "I don't trust that guy..."

 Famous Tough Head: "I don't trust that guy... he's always smiling."

Term of the Night: production meeting karma

production meeting karma--when difficult production people get flayed alive at post-preview production meetings. "The famously backstabby production stage manager was called out by name at the post-show production meeting and reamed out by an angry director. She experienced some production meeting karma." 

Term of the Day: the fix was in

the fix was in--Things were determined a long time ago. “Even though the heads' jobs for the new Hudson Theatre were listed in the union newsletter, the fix was in months ago.”