Expression of the Day: "A show's not dead until it dies on Broadway"

"A show's not dead until it dies on Broadway"--a doomed musical may travel the country for years, in workshops and productions, with hopes of succeeding on Broadway. Producers dreams are finally dashed when the show bombs and dies on Broadway. Maybe it is the final stake through the heart.

The retort should be, "There is always 'Encores' in 20 years." ("Encores" is the acclaimed series at City Center that revives old successful shows and beloved bombs.)

Expression of the Day: a douchebag with a human face

 a douchebag with a human face--pleasant-seeming person who does horrible things behind your back.

Famous Stagehands in History #2: Barrymore Theatre Carpenter, 1949

In 1949, Marlon Brando was the toast of Broadway in Tennessee Williams' "A Streetcar Named Desire" at the Barrymore Theatre. Now Brando fancied himself a boxer. The head carpenter of the Barrymore, whose name I have not found, really was a boxer. The men would spar in the boiler room at the Barrymore, and finally the carpenter broke Brando's nose, damaging his pretty-boy looks. Brando did not have his nose repaired. This story was in his memoir "Songs My Mother Taught Me."

Term of the Day: pre-resume culture

pre-resume culture--Resumes still doesn't matter that much in the theaters of Broadway. More often it is your skill set--you can build a spiral staircase or you can fix a Vari-lite, or it is who you are related to, or who is your rabbi.

Term of the Day: unmake a bad stagehand

unmake a bad stagehand-- to cure a young stagehand of bad habits. "That TV commando I got from the hall? She was a nightmare, more obsessed with breaks than doing her job. I'll never use her again. I don't have time to unmake a bad stagehand."

Overheard Stagehand Line #55: "When the old carpenter finally forced the confrontation....

"When the old carpenter finally forced the confrontation, it was brutal for the old creep, but I had to teach him that it wasn't Las Vegas in 1982 anymore. No one else was going to do it."

Historic Theater Foods: special won-ton soup to go

special won-ton soup to go--whiskey in a take-out soup container. China Peace was a Chinese restaurant that ran for decades in Hell's Kitchen. It was at three different locations over time. Legendary stagehands and legendary drinkers would go there on matinee days. The owner was agreeable to fixing special "to-go" cups for his regular customers.

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #40: "They're really cute at that age"

Stagehand #1: "I hate that carpenter. He's a 76-year-old dry-drunk racist, who sits in his office, screaming at the TV."

Stagehand #2: "Oh yeah, they're really cute at that age."

Expression of the Night: "We hate the same people"

 "We hate the same people"--when stagehands are bonded by their mutual hate of the same people. "I love eating dinner with that guy. We have great conversations. We hate the same people."

Term of the Day: the Great Local #1 Headcase

the Great Local #1 Headcase--a Broadway head, famous for hiring old timers on his crew, promising them the world, then dumping them. "Be careful of that head-- he's the Great Local #1 Headcase...he'll give you work, but he'll break your heart. You can almost put the screwing on your calendar."

Overheard Stagehand Line #54: "When the hateful old carpenter tantrums at work..."

"When the hateful old carpenter tantrums at work, he's not defending the union or even the jurisdiction....he's defending his damaged inner child."

Expression of the Night: the bad sleep well

the bad sleep well--when the evil people are not troubled by conscience and lose no sleep. "I don't believe in karma or payback for sins committed. I think the bad sleep well." "I am sure Evil Gene never lost a night's sleep over the stagehands he ripped off or his many attacks on the working conditions, but a mortal soul is necessary to feel shame. The bad sleep well." 

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #66: Would you call that an auto-fucking?

Worried Stagehand: "Why have you stopped hiring me?"

Head: "I got sick of the bomb-throwing and the shit-stirring. I think you fucked yourself. Would you call that an auto-fucking?"