Term of the Day: "can't quit you"

"can't quit you"--when a boss keeps hiring you. "That head, even when I screw up, keeps hiring me. He can't quit me." From "Brokeback Mountain," without the sexual connotation.

Overheard Stagehand line #41:"I only like 10 people"

 Stagehand to Head: "Why don't you ever hire me?"

Head: "I only like 10 people on Broadway and you are not one of them."

Term of the Day: Broadway Karen

Broadway Karen-- aggressive white woman on Broadway who uses an unstable personality and tears to get things to go her way. Must be good at note taking for searing attack memos sent to theater management.

Term of the Day: to Lady MacBeth someone

to Lady MacBeth someone--to undo another person through plotting and personal attacks on their character.

Overheard Stagehand Line #23: "That tech would kick me down the stairs..."

"That tech would kick me down the stairs with a smile on his face."

Overheard Stagehand Line #52: "...it's like he works at Baskin Robbins, but only knows how to scoop vanilla."

I was trying to explain the new PSM to my wife. I said, "He's limited...it's like he works at Baskin Robbins, but only knows how to scoop vanilla. And only one scoop in a cup."

Term of the Day: string-puller

string-puller--in some theaters or TV studio, the department head may not be the power. The string-puller may be an extra man who does the hiring or makes the policy decisions.

Expression of the Day: The circus is gone, but the clowns remain.

  The circus is gone, but the clowns remain.

Expression of the Day: "Smile when you stick the knife in"

"Smile when you stick the knife in"--sometimes getting revenge can be BOTH business and pleasure.

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #40: "They're really cute at that age"

Stagehand #1: "I hate that carpenter. He's a 76-year-old dry-drunk racist, who sits in his office, screaming at the TV."

Stagehand #2: "Oh yeah, they're really cute at that age."

Term of the Day: a bridge too far

a bridge too far--an unreasonable request or expectation that can't be met. "Your request for the extra stagehand on the crew to cover the contract stagehand for his vacation is a bridge too far."  From the WWII movie about the disastrous Allied invasion of the Netherlands, at the Battle of Arnheim.

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #34: a kiss-ass and a backstabber

Stagehand 1: Do you know that young, annoying contract propman?

Stagehand 2: Him? Yeah. Be careful. He is both a kiss-ass AND a backstabber. You have to watch your ass and your back at the same time.

Term of the Day: house of pain

house of pain--theater with abusive heads or a hostile crew, or a theater famous for big, brutal load-ins.

Term of the Day: second act trouble

second act trouble--when an ambitious musical starts to fall apart in the second act. Often the solution is trotting out the Broadway cliches.

Term of the Day: construction face

construction face: during a load in, when you tell the young production manager that a crew member needs to go on construction, he or she will gasp and give you a tight smile.

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #32: "business or personal?"

Young Stagehand: "When you threw that violent carpenter under the bus, was it business or personal?"

Older Stagehand: (taking a contemplative moment) "'Twas business and personal, the best of both worlds." 

Term of the Day: go to the forks

go to the forks--to drive a forklift, to work driving a forklift. "I can't work for you on Monday. I am going to the forks at another venue."

Term of the Day: good Rolodex

good Rolodex--a boss who has a long hiring list of the good stagehands, who has access to and hires good people. A Rolodex is the archaic card index that businesspeople had on their desks for many decades.  "That head has a good Rolodex of mechanics and builders."  Also: "I've got your name in my Rolodex."

Term of the Day: "Do you want a gold star?"

"Do you want a gold star?"-- sarcastic line when a stagehand is boasting of a repair he or she made, or how great a project turned out. Or: "I am out of gold stars."

Term of the Night: to 'Beau' a stagehand

to 'Beau' a stagehand-- when a stagehand refuses to leave a job they are stiffing and for revenge by the head, he or she is stripped of all extras, including presets, rehearsals, work calls and special events. Term comes from an annoying stagehand named Beau, who refused to leave a mega-hit Broadway show when the original stagehand who held the position asked to come back. He kept the job for several years until the show moved to another theater, but never earned another extra penny.

Term of the Day: "Once more, with feeling."

"Once more, with feeling"-- something to say, when doing a repetitive, boring or sometimes brutal task. Parody of old voice-coach directions. "As the stage manager had the prop person reset the file cabinet over and over during tech, another propman muttered, "Once more, with feeling."

Famous Stagehands in History #2: Barrymore Theatre Carpenter, 1949

In 1949, Marlon Brando was the toast of Broadway in Tennessee Williams' "A Streetcar Named Desire" at the Barrymore Theatre. Now Brando fancied himself a boxer. The head carpenter of the Barrymore, whose name I have not found, really was a boxer. The men would spar in the boiler room at the Barrymore, and finally the carpenter broke Brando's nose, damaging his pretty-boy looks. Brando did not have his nose repaired. This story was in his memoir "Songs My Mother Taught Me."

Stagehands I Have Known #2: The Man from Paco Rabonne

The Man from Paco Rabonne--mean old carpenter who wore too much cheap cologne. Now retired.

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #62: "...the assistant director"

Stagehand #1: "Did you hear the assistant director lost his shit when he saw a stagehand with white sneakers onstage in a blackout?"

Stagehand #2: "It's rough owing all that money to Yale. When he calms down, I hope he can get his head back up the director's ass."

Term of the Day: to be Breakfast Clubbed

to be Breakfast Clubbed-- when a small group of stagehands is given an early call that lasts all day, with little or nothing to do. The reference is to the 1985 John Hughes movie "The Breakfast Club," where a group of high school students are held in Saturday detention. "I had a 6 am call with five other stagehands to the stage, where we had nothing to do for 12 hours...we were Breakfast Clubbed." (From Greg Leshe, Local 52)

Legendary Stagehands #3: Tommy A-Flat

Tommy A-Flat-stagehand who once fell into an orchestra pit, crushed a cello and survived with minor injuries. The nickname "Tommy A-Flat" stayed with him for the rest of his career

Memorial Sandwich: RIP Ray Liotta

 RIP Ray Liotta--In 2004, the actor Ray Liotta was eating a sandwich offstage during rehearsals for a doomed straight play on Broadway. The infamous, crazy house prop woman, who I will call Sybill, verbally assaulted him, saying "Get your fucking sandwich off my stage." His co-star, the legendary Broadway actor Frank Langella, called the theater owners and said, "If I could not do my job tonight, there would be no show. She cannot do her job. Take care of her." Sybill was fired that night. She was handed her now-dated resignation letter. She had had an undated resignation letter in her work file after she had had a phantom on the payroll years before.

In the 15 years she was a house head, Sybill had an evil habit of torturing every contract person who came through her theater, while not working herself. She would attack and spread discord. The night she was fired, my phone blew up, with contract prop people calling in glee. Ding dong, the witch is dead. I hear she is still suing Local #1.

Ray Liotta died on May 26, 2022, at the too young age of 67. He was famous for great menacing roles in "Goodfellas" and "Something Wild." Liotta was a great American actor of the menacing thug or gangster. RIP Ray Liotta, and thanks for getting rid of Sybill.

Term of the Day: to dirty someone up

to dirty someone up--to savage a person's reputation, by telling stories that are real or fictional about them on the street.