Overheard Stagehand Line #42: "The worst kind of ass-kisser..."

"The worst kind of ass-kisser is the kind of ass-kisser who believes in his heart that he is a stand-up guy." 

Overheard Stagehand Line #41: "Backstage, he's 95 percent gentleman..."

Referring to a brilliant Broadway actor: "Backstage, he's 95 percent gentleman and five percent madman."

Term of the Day: lech

lech--dirty old man (or woman)

Term of the Day: rivets started popping again

the rivets started popping--when someone is beginning to lose it. "After being dressed down by the head to keep the crazy at home, the old stagehand tried to hold it together. After a few months, the rivets started popping again."

Overheard Stagehand Line #34: "He's not an open book...

"He's not an open book, he's more like an open wound"--said of a whiny stagehand, who always recalls negative experiences, or giving out TMI.

Term of the Day: toady

toady--ass-kisser. "Be careful with that guy...despite his Local #1 pedigree, he is a management toady."

Overheard Stagehand Line #23: "That tech would kick me down the stairs..."

"That tech would kick me down the stairs with a smile on his face."

Overheard Stagehand Conversation #6: "another asshole"

At the end of the loadout, a head and stagehand had a brief conversation:
FAMOUSLY DIFFICULT HEAD: "On this show, I made you into a better stagehand."
STAGEHAND: "Nah, I just learned how to work for another asshole."

Term of the Day: the walls have ears

the walls have ears-- be careful what you say in the theater, for people will hear and will tell.

Story of the Day: Musicians and their trash

A famous propman took a show on the road with a core group of musicians, and they would pick up additional musicians at each stop. At the first stop, the musicians left a filthy pit full of newspapers, bottles and food trash. They refused to clean up.

The propman had his crew roll up the carpet with the trash, and at the next stop installed the carpet and the pit with the trash in place. The musicians were furious. "There is all this trash in the pit." Giving a vicious smile, the propman said, "Well, it is your trash." From then on, the musicians took care of their trash.

Term of the Day: adult day-care

adult day-care-- when an older boss comes to work every day, but delegates everything to his/her assistants, not working him/herself, using the job as a place to go. "The old head had entered the adult day-care period of his career, not leaving his office and only playing guitar all day."

Overheard Stagehand Line #21: "You can get a good stagehand for the same pay as a bad stagehand."

Broadway Head: "You can get a good stagehand for the same pay as a bad stagehand. That's why I never hire bad ones."

"If you kill me, I'll haunt you forever"

"If you kill me, I'll haunt you forever"--said to the young stagehand controlling the chain motor that suspended the piano I was working under.

Term of the Day: mook

mook--moron (from the movie "Mean Streets," as far as I can tell)

Term of the Day: gilding the turd

gilding the turd-- throwing good money away by trying to improve something that is worthless. Excessive amounts of labor and materials used to fix a prop or scenery that may not benefit from the attention. "The contract propman had me on construction to rehash an IKEA table. It was gilding the turd."

Term of the Day: kumbaya moment

kumbaya moment--  a moment of spiritual unity or interpersonal harmony. In the stage world, the meaning is mostly sarcastic. "It was a kumbaya moment, when the two old stagehands started talking after 20 years." Comes from an old Southern spiritual, which is a corruption of "Come By Here Lord."