Term of the Day: "moving deck chairs on the Titanic"

"moving deck chairs on the Titanic"--making small changes too late to fix a doomed show. "They made changes to the first act, but it was like moving deck chairs on the Titanic."

Term of the Day: (a) haircut

(a) haircut--when you cut the top off a prop or a small piece of scenery, so it can be accommodated backstage. "We had to give the bookcase unit a haircut so it would fit on the set."

Term of the Day: (a) walkaway

(a) walkaway--leave everything as it is and go home

Term of the Day: one-way sense of humor

one-way sense of humor--can make snarky, cruel jokes but doesn't understand them when they are returned. "The acid-tongued PSM had a one-way sense of humor. He could dish it out, but was perplexed when people mocked him in return."

Term of the Day: noble failure

noble failure--a Broadway show that receives rave reviews and is an artistic favorite in the Broadway community, but has dismal ticket sales and dies a quick death. These shows are mounted on Broadway when producers follow their hearts, rather then their wallets.

Term of the Day: “Make it safe”

“Make it safe”--put a safety on a light, tie a piece off. “Make it safe and take coffee”

Term of the Night: keep jurisdiction

keep jurisdiction--to ensure a stagehand presence in certain places in the theater,  i.e. preventing stage managers and interns from doing stagehand work. "The house propman ensured that props carried out all work in the dressing rooms, keeping jurisdiction for the local."

Term of the Night: juke-box musical

juke-box musical--musicals based on the pop music of one old star or a time period (1950's or 1960's). Some hit big ("Jersey Boys" ran for 11 years, closing in January 2017; "Moving Out" ran for about two years, and "Beautiful" is still going strong), but most fail.

Term of the Night: “Gimme a rub”

“Gimme a rub”--help me, usually to pull a heavy piece

Term of the Day: props and crafts

props and crafts--making paper goods for a show, tools required are limited to scissors and glue sticks. "Get me some crafty people for tomorrow...it is a day of props and crafts."

Term of the Day: paper

paper--comp tickets. ”They papered the house.” Standard practice during previews and when reviewers are in, but a very bad sign during a normal run. See: producers’ pep talk

Term of the Day: "paid by the hour"

"paid by the hour"--when a skilled stagehand's talents are wasted doing menial labor, like sorting garbage, it is a good thing to mutter, "I'm paid by the hour."

Term of the Day: (a) pair of shoes from the hall

(a) pair of shoes from the hall--ordering two stiffs from the union hall (brawn matters here, not skill) for a brutal day on the load-in or loadout.

Term of the Day: overhire

overhire--worker hired at a scenic shop during a busy season. Not a regular. "The overhires were let go after the Met shop finished building the new opera."

Term of the Day: kowtow

kowtow--to bow down, to show servile deference. From the Chinese.

Term of the Day: jump ship before it sinks

jump ship before it sinks--when the contract men and women on a show start leaving for other jobs as the ticket sales start going down.

Term of the Day: hump day

hump day--heavy-lifting day, moving a lot of things, wardrobe out of the basement, loading trucks at a load out.

Term of the Day: I pick stuff up, I put stuff down

I pick stuff up, I put stuff down-- the stagehand life of humping stuff.

Term of the Night: "I'm new to this picnic"

"I'm new to this picnic"--I haven't worked on this project yet, clue me in on what I have to do.

Term of the Day: schmata

schmata--drape, cover (Yiddish)..."Throw the schmata over the table."

Term of the Day: Phantom lift

Phantom lift: When a stagehand is pretending too vigorously to lift a heavy piece of scenery and is letting others do the real work. See also: soft hands

Term of the Day: plain dealer

plain dealer--frank, honest person, straight shooter.

Term of the Day: phantom production

phantom production--a fake Broadway show. A theater agent named Roland Scahill was convicted in August 2016 of defrauding investors of $165,000 for a fake play on the life of the opera diva Kathleen Battle, which was to play at the Booth Theatre. Scahill claimed the actress Nupita Nyong'o was going to play Battle and that the show was going to be filmed for Netflix. Neither the play nor the Netflix connection existed. Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance referred to the Kathleen Battle play as a "phantom production."

Term of the Day: no stripes

no stripes--"I have no stripes," that means that I am not a boss. Conversely, a know-it-all stagehand may start barking orders, and may be asked sarcastically, "Ooh, who gave you stripes?" Also: No feathers.

Term of the Day: "My rabbi just got his own synagogue"

"My rabbi just got his own synagogue"--When your rabbi becomes the head of a theater, gets a head's job.

Term of the Day: laid and paid

laid and paid--happy stagehand, or a usually mopey stagehand who shows a brief moment of happiness. "It looks like he just got laid and paid."

Term of the Day: kiss the ring

kiss the ring--paying tribute to the head, like a loyal vassal...I have also heard a more obscene interpretation of this action.

Term of the Day: hoofer

hoofer--outdated term for dancer

Term of the Day: "Hit me with your best shot"

"Hit me with your best shot"--from an old Pat Benatar song, implying that one stagehand in a confrontation doesn't have the guts to hit the other.  See also: "Have at it."

Term of the Day: good government job

good government job--job on a long-running show. Dependable pay, like the post office or some other civil service job. "Working on 'Phantom' is a good government job."

Term of the Day: foley cue

foley cue--a live sound cue. For example, a slamming door sound made by an offstage door being slammed, or the sound of breaking glass being made by dropping a sealed box full of broken glass.

Term of the Day: to post

to post--to post the closing notice. "As soon as our weekly ticket sales went below $300,000, it was a matter of time before we posted."

Term of the Day: stop pussyfooting around

stop pussyfooting around--stop being indecisive, make up your mind.

Term of the Day: day player

day player--stagehand hired day by day on a load in, usually doesn't have a spot on the show.

Term of the Day: break your shovel

break your shovel--destroy contact, lose job

Term of the Day: blowing their wad

blowing their wad--to run out of money, when the producers run out of money. "The frantic workcalls during the production period were suddenly cancelled. We realized the producers had blown their wad." Of course, there is the dirty meaning as well.

Term of the Day: “beat the clock” mentality

“beat the clock” mentality--to do everything as quickly as possible, possibly making unnecessary errors.

Expression of the Day: "An actress wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire"

"An actress wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire"--said by an elderly New York actress, circa 1991. A reference to the cutthroat competitiveness in the New York theater world.

Term of the Day: "Having the time of my life"

"Having the time of my life"--sarcastic response when asked how you are doing. see: "Living the dream."

Term of the Day: great lady of the theater

great lady of the theater--usually affectionate term, applied to older character actresses who have been around for a while or older dressers or wardrobe supervisors. Can be sarcastic.

Term of the Day: to give a wide berth

to give a wide berth--to physically avoid someone, to give someone space. "Because of his explosive personality, I gave that stagehand a wide berth in the theater."

Term of the Day: "When's the strike?"

"When's the strike?" When the comedian Jerry Lewis was in the revival of "Damned Yankees" in the mid-1990s, every time he would pass a knot of stagehands speaking in hushed voices, he would say in a stage whisper, "When's the strike, boys?"

Term of the Day: buried alive

buried alive--when you work at the long-running show like "Phantom" or "Wicked," people think you have retired.

Term of the Night: bringing him/her along

bringing him/her along--to mentor or help a young stagehand, to bring him or her up to speed

Term of the Day: cleaning house

cleaning house--after regime change, a new head may clean house of the old head's hires, bringing new people in.

Term of the Day: read the writing on the wall

read the writing on the wall--to determine that something big is happening, that the show is closing, that you are about to be pushed out.

Term of the Day: eat someone's lunch

to eat someone's lunch--to make an aggressive move against another stagehand

Term of the Day: box-office poison

box-office poison--a leading actor or actress who is capable of killing a show. Sometimes, a crew member who has worked on a string of bombs will call themselves box-office poison. "The young stage manager, who had worked on a string of bombs, called herself 'box-office poison.'" "Baywatch's David Hasselhoff was box-office poison for the original 'Jekyll and Hyde' in the late 1990's."

Term of the Night: an actor/actress piece

an actor/actress piece--a small piece of cake, a reference to weight-conscious performers. "'Give me an actor piece,' I said to the ASM cutting the birthday cake.

Term of the Night: “back on your heads”

“back on your heads”--break is over (punchline of devil joke)

Term of the Day: to kvetch

to kvetch(Yiddish)--to complain, in a whiny way.