Friday, March 31, 2017
Term of the Day: false progress
false progress--work done to make it look like you are accomplishing something, often to appease a boss or management. "We stacked the boxes of new props, even though we knew we'd have to restack them later."
Expression of the Day: "I do one cable at a time"
"I do one cable at a time"--electrician push back to an overeager roadman giving too much information at once. "Hey, I do one cable at a time. Why don't you pick your end?" Subtext: you are too far ahead of yourself. One cable at a time.
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Term of the Night: drop a dime, dimedropper
drop a dime, dimedropper--to fink on a person, to report someone. This was back when payphones were common and they only cost a dime.
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
Term of the Night: the push out
the push out--during the load in, when road boxes, motor boxes and pieces of scenery that have yet to be installed are pushed out onto the street at 8 a.m. to make room in the theater for the work of the load-in, to hang the show.
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
Term of the Night: dummy proof
dummy proof--to mark something or to arrange a preset so that even the dumbest stagehand will get it right.
Term of the Night: deaf and dumb (D & D)
deaf and dumb (D & D)-- an old longshoreman's term. "He's deaf and dumb, he didn't hear anything and can't say anything about it."
Term of the Night: designer time
designer time--designers operate on their own time, often showing up late. "The young, famous set designer said, 'I can't show up when the workcall starts at 8am. I'll see you after coffee." He was operating on designer time."
Monday, March 27, 2017
Term of the Day: “Watch your cruller”
“Watch your cruller”--pipe coming in, something heavy overhead...for those who live under rocks, a cruller is a doughnut.
Term of the Day: work me like a rented mule
work me like a rented mule--sarcastic comment when it's a hard day of work. Also: "treated me like a red-headed stepchild"
Term of the Day: word of mouth
word of mouth-- gossip about a show. Positive word of mouth can pump energy and ticket sales into an iffy show. Negative word of mouth can chip away at a healthy show and eventually kill it.
Term of the Day: (to) Wildhorn someone
(to) Wildhorn someone--The main Broadway reviewers for the New York Times hate the composer Frank Wildhorn, so his musicals always get savaged. Repeated vicious reviews about the same composer or playwright by the same reviewer means that the artist has been Wildhorned.
Term of the Day: Who's your hook?
Who's your hook?--who is your mentor, who got you into this theater for work? "Charlie Rosen was my first hook in the business."
Term of the Day: "When you're mad"
"When you're mad"--the all clear, when stagehands are ready to push something big or to do something that requires brute strength.
Term of the Day: white on rice
white on rice--to guard somebody closely, to not leave them alone. "When the young designer came on deck during the load in and tried to do work onstage, a stagehand was assigned to cover her, like white on rice.
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Term of the Night: only a stage-door draw, not a box-office draw
only a stage-door draw, not a box-office draw--when young celebrities or recording stars are in Broadway shows, sometimes their young fans only wait at the stage door for pictures or autographs, without buying tickets.
Term of the Day: Debbie Downer
Debbie Downer-- constant complainer. SHOULD be used for both sexes. Based on the old SNL skit.
Term of the Day: daily rant
daily rant--daily outburst by difficult stagehands, sometimes necessary at the start of the day.
Term of the Night: D-rate, D-rate stagehand
D-rate, D-rate stagehand--lowest-paid stagehand on Broadway. "'Til the strike, my wife didn't know she'd married a D-rate stagehand."
Term of the Day: counting the house
counting the house--Looking out into the house surreptitiously, to estimate the box office success of the show.
Term of the Night: Cha-Ching!
Cha-Ching!--sound you make when it is clear we are going into overtime. (mimicking the sound of a cash register opening.) Also: Ka-Ching!
Term of the Day: broom up my ass
broom up my ass--a statement of exasperation..."If you want me to work any harder, I could stick a broom up my ass and sweep while working." I once faced down a psychotic tech with this line and it worked. What do you say in response? "I'll get the broom."
Term of the Day: brick in the wall
brick in the wall--to ignore existence of another person in the theater (“From now on, he’s another brick in the wall,” said the head carpenter, of a rude PSM)
Term of the Night: (to) blow someone up
(to) blow someone up--to attack another stagehand's reputation to others.
Term of the Day: audience plant
audience plant--in the old days, stars had the right to have a certain number of “plants” in the audience to encourage laughter (may be myth)
Term of the Day: "And what, quit show business?"
"And what, quit show business?"--the punchline to the old elephant joke. To be said when doing a really disgusting task.
Friday, March 24, 2017
Term of the Day: alta kaka
alta kaka--old timer, old person. (Yiddish) Can be used to refer to the blue-hair matinee patrons or old stagehands. "The carpenter is an alta kaka...he was in Local #1 before we had an annuity."
Term of the Day: break your chops
break your chops--to make fun of someone, sometimes harmless, sometimes malicious
Thursday, March 23, 2017
Term of the Night: second-acting
second-acting--the time-honored tradition of poor actors, students and others of going into a Broadway show without a ticket at intermission to see the second act. The actor John Leguizamo talked about second-acting with his deaf uncle in his youth as a theater rat from Queens. The Village Voice published a "how-to" piece on second-acting in the 1970's. The New York Times ran a feature on the practice on September 25, 2016. Sadly, because of high theater prices and security concerns in the Age of Terror, ushers are better at checking tickets, so the practice has mostly died out. The people who do second-acting are called second-actors.
Term of the Day: "Say anything, tell them nothing"
"Say anything, tell them nothing"--old Irish saying, good for dealing with shit-stirrers. Do not give any information that is useful. Give them blarney.
Term of the Day: schmo
schmo--boring, stupid person. Originally from Yiddish, meaning moron or cuckold.
Term of the Day: "Put your coat on and go home"
"Put your coat on and go home"--said when a stagehand really screws up, he or she is done. "Don't worry about your fuck up, just put your coat on and go home."
Term of the Night: stick the knife in
stick the knife in--premeditated revenge. "When the designer finally screwed up, I got the chance to stick the knife in."
Term of the Day: stay in character
stay in character--to maintain the accent or the demeanor of the role you are playing onstage and sometimes even offstage. "Two actor friends of mine stayed in character, using their English accents from the show, while picking up their cars after the show."
Term of the Night: stagehand torture device
stagehand torture device--badly designed prop or piece of scenery that is handled by a stagehand that may cause an ongoing or permanent injury to the stagehands handling it. "The bed unit in the recent production of 'Betrayal' was so heavy that the nightly shift turned it into a stagehand torture device."
Term of `the Night: soft hands
soft hands--stagehand pretending to work hard, can be accompanied by WWF-type expressions when pretending to help lift things
Term of the Day: "somebody's got a tax shelter"
"somebody's got a tax shelter"--when the producers are spending money hand over fist on a show that is destined to bomb, some wag might say, "Somebody's got a tax shelter."
Term of the Day: social finger
social finger--the middle finger. "Guiding a forklift into a truck, a stagehand got his social finger crushed and had to go to the hospital."
Term of the Day: showstopper
showstopper: a rousing high-energy dance number or solo that literally stops the show with the volume of applause. Or a major mechanical screw up or crew member mistake that literally forces the show to stop until the error is corrected. In the most extreme versions, the house curtain is brought in and the SM makes an announcement along the lines of "There will be a short delay."
Term of the Night: showmance
showmance (n.)--when two company members, be they cast, crew or musicians, become romantically and/or physically involved. Often happens on long-running shows. Sometimes it's the stars, like Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson on "Anna Christie."
Term of the Night: self-winder
self-winder--someone who is easily wound up by gossip or a rumor, often done intentionally by others. See also: wind him/her up.
Term of the Day: second banana
second banana--a comedian in a vaudeville or burlesque theater who plays a secondary role. An actor who plays a secondary role to the leading man. A sidekick. "Tony Roberts has had a brilliant career playing second bananas, to Woody Allen in 'Annie Hall' and Al Pacino in 'Serpico.'"
Term of the Night: scut work, scut job
scut work, scut job--tedious, dirty work, often given to the youngest stagehand on the crew. "The young stagehand was given the scut job of cleaning old adhesive off the ramp with a heat gun and a spackle knife."
Term of the Night: rice-bowl issue
rice-bowl issue--jurisdictional dispute over who gets the work. Can be between departments in a theater, different locals or different unions. "It was a rice bowl issue over who sets the tech tables, the carpenter or the prop man."
Term of the Night: right of way
right of way--an actor or stagehand has the right of way on the stairs when heading to the stage.
Term of the Night: pure stagehandese
pure stagehandese--stagehand slang, a stagehand who is conversant in the slang used by Local #1 stagehands. Often generational stagehands, whose fathers or grandfathers were in Local #1. I find that many stagehands under 50 don't understand what a busted valise is. "One of the extra men in the carpentry department speaks the purest stagehandese I have ever heard."
Term of the Day: pull it out of my ass
pull it out of my ass--when a director or PSM makes a ludicrous request--"Can you get me a taxidermied rabbit by tomorrow?", you can reply brightly, "Let me pull one out of my ass." Line may result in job termination.
Term of the Day: pre-resume culture
pre-resume culture--Resumes still doesn't matter that much in the theaters of Broadway. More often it is your skill set--you can build a spiral staircase or you can fix a Vari-lite, or it is who you are related to, or who is your rabbi.
Term of the Day: props and crafts
props and crafts--making paper goods for a show, tools required are limited to scissors and glue sticks. "Get me some crafty people for tomorrow...it is a day of props and crafts."
Term of the Day: prop genius
prop genius--stagehand who usually works in props, who only works in props.
Term of the Night: out-of-town closing
out-of-town closing-- when the producers pull the plug due to the quality of show or no money is like a miscarriage--the show was not meant to be born.
Term of the Day: nice-guy rage
nice-guy rage--when a self-proclaimed "nice guy" explodes, the results can be very nasty.
Term of the Day: "Never Missed a Performance"
"Never Missed a Performance"--this is the motto of the Theatre District firehouse on West 48th Street and 8th Avenue, which includes Engine 54, Ladder 4, as well as the chief of the 9th Battalion of the FDNY. The attacks at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001 started at 8:48am, which coincided with the shift change at firehouses across the city. At Engine 54, Ladder 4, both the incoming and outgoing crews crammed into their rigs to save lives at the World Trade Center. Fifteen officers and men, including the battalion chief and his driver, made the supreme sacrifice that day when the Twin Towers collapsed. The firehouse also uses the comedy and drama masks as part of their emblem.
Term of the Day: “Make it safe”
“Make it safe”--put a safety on a light, tie a piece off. “Make it safe and take coffee”
Term of the Day: like rats in a box
like rats in a box--to play men off each other, no room in the basement of a theater, so people begin to argue. "Bobby Bobby Bobby treated his men like rats in a box, playing them off each other."
Term of the Day: Le Miza Bob
Le Miza Bob--a miserable stagehand named Bob, always complaining and sucking the life out of those he works with. A takeoff on the title of the never-ending musical “Le Miz.” In Local #1, we have a Le Miza Bob working Legit and one in TV.
Term of the Day: kiss the ring
kiss the ring--paying tribute to the head, like a loyal vassal...I have also heard a more obscene interpretation of this action.
Quote of the Day: "He hates his men almost as much as he hates himself"
"He hates his men almost as much as he hates himself"--said of a famously difficult head.
Term of the Day: great lady of the theater
great lady of the theater--usually affectionate term, applied to older character actresses who have been around for a while or older dressers or wardrobe supervisors. Can be sarcastic.
Term of the day: get it on the load out
get it on the load out--when a prop, a flashlight or an important piece of hardware rolls under the show deck, it is often impossible to retrieve. Someone will say, "We'll get it on the loadout," meaning the item will be retrieved then, or possibly never.
Term of the Day: George M. Cohan's's back pocket
George M. Cohan's's back pocket--the planter surrounding the statue of the composer and performer George M. Cohan on the island near 46th and Broadway...during industrial events on the island, which is known as Father Duffy Square, after the heroic World War I chaplain of the Fighting 69th (the Irish unit, many recruited from Hell's Kitchen), bottled water is stored in the planter for the working stagehands.
Term of the Day: French alteration
French alteration--placebo alteration for a troublesome actor, calming them down by pretending to fix a costume (from SAPSIS Rigging's own glossary)
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
Term of the Day: fahcocked, on the valoop
fahcocked (Yiddish) or "on the valoop": something is not square or straight. Or screwed up. Sometimes the designer will want the prop department to hang a picture crooked. "The family portraits on the set were intentionally hung fahcocked." For screwed up, it is something like "The trucking was all fahcocked on the first day of the load in."
Term of the Day: exit preset
exit preset--when you get your bag and coat ready so you can run out the door to make a bus or train
Term of the Day: “coke the stage”
“coke the stage”--to put Coca-Cola on a slippery deck (adding a small amount of Coke to a mop bucket). Also, propmen will use the liquid rosin mixture called "Slip No More." Sometimes the deck becomes too sticky after mopping with Coke.
Sunday, March 19, 2017
Saturday, March 18, 2017
Term of the Day: show me what you got
show me what you got--fighting words, show me your skills, prove yourself. "A 60-year-old stagehand friend of mine found out his daughter had been hit by her boyfriend. He confronted the 20-year-old man, saying 'Show me what you got,' chasing him out of the house." Or with a new hire, who claims to have skills, you set them up and say, "Show me what you got."
Friday, March 17, 2017
Term of the Day: "I speak fluent Irish American"
"I speak fluent Irish American"--since Local #1 still has a large number of Irish American members, it is useful to understand the Irish American psychology. There are specific subsets, like the Westies of Hell’s Kitchen, Rockland County Irish, Queens Irish and Long Island Irish.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Term of the Day: mushroom
mushroom--kept in the dark and fed shit, an Indian. "I don't know anything about the loadout. I am a mushroom...I am kept in the dark and fed shit."
Monday, March 13, 2017
Term of the Day: (to) pile on
(to) pile on--often following the lead of a bad head, multiple stagehands will harass another stagehand, sometimes in fun, sometimes it is vicious harassment.
Term of the Day: "paid by the hour"
"paid by the hour"--when a skilled stagehand's talents are wasted doing menial labor, like sorting garbage, it is a good thing to mutter, "I'm paid by the hour."
Term of the Day: p.a.
p.a.--production assistant, often young women, sometimes romantic targets for married stagehands. In film, p.a. stands for “parking assistant,” for they grab parking spots for trucks and actor RVs.
Term of the Day: NBC
NBC--Nepotism Before Competence, or Nephews, Brothers and Cousins, or Nephews, Bartenders and Cousins.
Term of the Day: Gypsy run-through/invited dress
Gypsy run-through/invited dress--paper is given out to dancers and members of the theatrical community for a run-through performance the night before the first preview. They clap at everything.
Term of the Day: ghostlight
ghostlight--keeps the ghosts of failed shows away; also, a safety light for firemen) ...on deck, after curtain is pulled out when house clears.
Term of the Day: fluffer
fluffer--prop person who is skilled with fabric goods (drapes, pillows and bedspreads). Has different meaning in porn world.
Term of the Day: moxie
moxie--guts, pushiness, persistence in the face of rejection. "The young dancer had the moxie to come backstage and introduce herself to the choreographer during tech." Amazing etymology...I always thought it was a Yiddish word, but it was the name of a bitter soft-drink popular in the 1930s. The word itself is believed to come from a Native American tribe from Maine, whose meaning is "dark water."
Term of the Day: Moscow sprayer
Moscow sprayer--plastic Coke bottle with cap on, hole cut in cap, full of water to spray on wrinkled drops (used by the Eifman Ballet, satire of Hudson sprayer)
Term of the Day: manna from the heavens
manna from the heavens--an unexpected job. From the Old Testament reference. "My show closed and I had no prospects. The sudden opening on the prop crew at the Wintergarden was like manna from the heavens."
Term of the Day: keep jurisdiction
keep jurisdiction--to ensure a stagehand presence in certain places in the theater, i.e. preventing stage managers and interns from doing stagehand work. "The house propman ensured that props carried out all work in the dressing rooms, keeping jurisdiction for the local."
Term of the Day: “It’s live theater, man”
“It’s live theater, man”--explaining away little errors. "Ah, the joys of live theater."
Term of the Day: "ink is still wet (or not dry) on your card"
"ink is still wet (or not dry) on your card"--new Onesy, reference to inexperience. "Shut your mouth...the ink isn't dry on your card yet."
Term of the Day: "I don't mean to be an asshole, but..."
"I don't mean to be an asshole, but..."--by Broadway standards, the polite way of pointing out an obvious error..."I don't mean to be an asshole, but you've hung that drop backwards."
Term of the Day: foley cue
foley cue--a live sound cue. For example, a slamming door sound made by an offstage door being slammed, the sound of breaking glass being made by dropping a sealed box full of broken glass.
Term of the Day: Don't fight, girls. You're both pretty
Don't fight, girls. You're both pretty--When two stagehands or actors are fighting over something trivial, you can say this to them. Should be for both sexes.
Sunday, March 12, 2017
Term of the Day: (the) buzz
(the) buzz--the advance gossip, can help make or break a show before it opens. See also: word of mouth
Term of the Day: conversational headlock
conversational headlock--when a co-worker talks too much and won't let you get a word in. "Working with Jimmy is like being in a conversational headlock all day."
Term of the Day: (a) Bartleby
(a) Bartleby--stagehand who refuses to work. From the Herman Melville short story. Bartleby's stock line is "I'd prefer not to."
Term of the Day: ACT Card
ACT Card--Associated Crafts and Technician card. It is a backdoor way to join IATSE. If you are given a job offer and the IA approves, you get an ACT card and can hold pink contracts. Usually, a stagehand holding an ACT card will apply to another local, to cover his or her pedigree. In it's best use, it is a way of bringing skilled people from other trades of professions into the IA.
Term of the Day: operator error
operator error--polite way of saying it wasn't a technical problem, but it was the stagehand operating the unit or doing the cue. "The sound cue came way early...it was an operator error." Why was that handoff missed?" "I think it was an operator error."(subtext: I screwed up)
Saturday, March 11, 2017
Term of the Day: blowing smoke up someone's ass
blowing smoke up someone's ass-- false compliments to gain a personal advantage, to tell someone what they want to hear or to deceive them.
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Term of the Day: killjoy
killjoy--a person who want to spread their personal misery around, wants to suck the joy out of any situation.
Term of the Day: “Can’t we all get along?”
“Can’t we all get along?”--when the departments are fighting, Rodney King line during the Los Angeles riots. See also: "Aren't we all on the same side?
Term of the Day: bust a move
bust a move--to start a project, to change a job. Or a dance move. "Break's over. Let us bust a move and store the dead orchestra seats."
Term of the Day: "Bury this"
"Bury this"--order from the head to get rid of a hamper, a cut piece of scenery or a dead prop, buried deep in the basement or against the upstage wall, possibly blocked by other items.
Term of the Day: between hangovers
between hangovers--sarcastic comment about a stagehand with a drinking problem. "He's a good head if you catch him between hangovers."
Term of the Day: "Better than delivering Chinese food on a bicycle"
"Better than delivering Chinese food on a bicycle"--Whenever a character actor at one of the long-running shows on Broadway is asked how the show is treating him, he says "Better than delivering Chinese food on a bicycle."
Term of the Day: bent out of shape
bent out of shape--to become angry, to blow up. "The head was bent out of shape when he found his guys took a 40-minute coffee break."
“beat the clock” mentality
“beat the clock” mentality--to do everything as quickly as possible, possibly making unnecessary errors.
Term of the Day: battlefield conditions
battlefield conditions--during the brutal production period, repairs are made with materials at hand and props are built and scenery rehashed in the alleys of theaters, often during the freezing winter. Sometimes miracles are pulled off in primitive conditions. When asked why a certain decision during production was made, you can mutter "battlefield conditions."
Term of the Day: animal
animal--stagehand who uses brute force to great or disastrous effect. Can be an expression of admiration or a derogatory term. "He was an animal...he picked up the jammed wagon out of the track and pulled it offstage."
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Expression of the Day: "My rabbi just got his own synagogue."
"My rabbi just got his own synagogue"--When your rabbi becomes the head of a theater, gets a head's job.
Term of the Day: unauthorized choreography
unauthorized choreography--a chorus boy I knew got hurt in the wings while goofing around, not doing the show choreography. We said, "He got hurt doing unauthorized choreography."
Term of the Day: forever job
forever job--long-running Broadway shows like "Phantom of the Opera," "Lion King," "Wicked" and "Jersey Boys" (which closed in January 2017), where stagehands plan their retirements off of them. "Cats" felt like a forever job, but closed after 18 years.
Term of the Day: to trick out
to trick out--to customize for ease of use, especially a prop case, when storing awkwardly sized props. Also, to build a manual effect..."In 'Victor/Victoria,' the bar shelves were tricked out so they collapsed during the fight scene, and the bottles appeared to fall to the ground."
Term of the Day: cracking the code
cracking the code--figuring out a solution to an ongoing problem.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Term of the Day: gone to crazytown
gone to crazytown--when a previously sane stagehand goes nuts, due to age, trauma, divorce, or other tumultuous things. "Ted was a solid guy until the divorce, then he went to crazytown."
Old Line of the Day: "This Matinee Brought to You by Drunk Girls"
"This Matinee Brought to You by Drunk Girls"--Benjamin Walker, the brilliant star of "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson" once said this after a particularly raucous group of women patrons (a sorority reunion? a bachelorette party?) threw a show off with their excessive, ill-timed cheering.
Joke of the Moment: "Two general managers are sitting in the house..."
Two general managers are sitting in the house during a load-in and see
a stagehand walk across the deck."Boy, I'd like to fuck that guy," says one.
"Out of what?" asks the other.
(alternative punchline: “Haven’t you already?”)
Term of the Day: "If you aren't doing a cue, you are blowing one."
"If you aren't doing a cue, you are blowing one."--said of the numerous carpenter cues at
"Showboat," on Broadway at the Gershwin Theatre in the mid-1990's.
Joke of the Day: “What’s the worst thing about having a wife and a mistress?
“What’s the worst thing about having a wife and a mistress?
Seeing “Mama Mia” twice. (originally used to be for “Cats”)
Monday, March 6, 2017
Term of the Day: you reap what you sow
you reap what you sow--when your decisions or actions have long term and usually bad results. "The young stagehand's fistfight with an assistant designer got him banned from most industrials. You reap what you sow."
Term of the Day: schmaltz, schmaltzy
schmaltz, schmaltzy--(Yiddish) literally rendered chicken fat, but means overly sentimental material. "The show was too schmaltzy to survive a sophisticated Broadway audience."
Term of the Day: "You the boss, I'm the hoss"
"You the boss, I'm the hoss"-- You are in charge, I'm just the worker, ready to do hard work. Overheard from a head who was working as a day laborer for the day.
Term of the Day: "You can't break iron"
"You can't break iron"--When asked how he was recovering from an injury incurred when somebody pushed a roadbox on him, the stagehand, who survived the horrors of Vietnam combat, said with deadpan intensity, "You can't break iron."
Term of the Day: work me like a rented mule
work me like a rented mule--sarcastic comment when it's a hard day of work. Also: "treated me like a red-headed stepchild."
Term of the Day: white on rice
white on rice--to guard somebody closely, to not leave them alone. "When the young designer came on deck during the load in and tried to do work onstage, a stagehand was assigned to cover her, like white on rice.
Term of the Day: white gloves
white gloves--A person that doesn’t seem to get dirty, or doesn’t seem to really do any work.
Nickname of the Day: Weeping Willow
Weeping Willow--constant complainer, a name given to the old scenic at East Coast Theatrical Supply in the 1980s.
Term of the Day: "We're going to run it!
"We're going to run it!--producer line at the producer pep talk, when a show's ticket sales have dropped, a bad sign that the closing notice is coming soon. This is akin to saying, "We are driving the train off the cliff!"
Term of the Day: walker
walker--archaic term for a musician that is on the payroll, but doesn't have to show up, such as the four musicians once required for a straight play. One producer made four walkers play in the bathroom during intermission.
Term of the Day: war stories
war stories--when an older stagehand tells stories of the old days, difficult load ins, abusive techs and drunk stars. The stories can be incredibly funny and can have a cautionary side. Or they can be self pitying or self aggrandizing. Often the teller is given the starring role as a hero or the victim to forces he or she can't control. "War stories in the mouth of a young stagehand just always seem boorish."
Term of the Day: to be piped, to get piped
to be piped, to get piped-- to be hit with a pipe coming in
Term of the Day: T.V. commando
T.V. commando--one who works in television, generally thought to run around a lot, not accomplishing much.
Term of the Day: Upsky, downsky?
Upsky, downsky?--fake Russian, for use with stagehands from the Eifman Ballet (City Center)
Term of the Day: “Who do I have to fuck to...”
“Who do I have to fuck to...”--statement of exasperation..."Who do I have to fuck to get my payroll signed?"
Term of the Day: union thug
union thug--you might as well embrace the label that rabid right wingers like that sleazy Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker slaps onto good working men and women. A particularly tough Broadway head I know showed up to a mammoth load in wearing a "union thug" t-shirt in light purple. A fierce woman head I know who fought her way into a position of power over 30 years prefers her own t-shirt adorned with flowers. Also: strike-tested union thug
Term of the Day: vultures start circling
vultures start circling--when a stagehand or musician is on the cusp of being fired, people will start coming by, looking to take their jobs. "The vultures started circling when the word was on the street that the concertmaster at 'Lion King' was going to be fired." "The show wasn't even out of previews when the producers for a show looking for a theater started asking about the theater. The vultures started circling while the show was still alive."
Term of the Day: triple threat
triple threat--can’t sing, can’t dance, can’t act (sarcastic use of original meaning, which was a performer who could sing, dance and act). Said by dance captain of "Victor/Victoria" of Raquel Welch.
Term of the Day: to trick out
to trick out--to customize for ease of use, especially a prop case, when storing awkwardly sized props. Also, to build a manual effect..."In 'Victor/Victoria,' the bar shelves were tricked out so they collapsed during the fight scene, and the bottles appeared to fall to the ground."
Term of the Day: "TV: same politics, half the rate"
"TV: same politics, half the rate"--In New York City, there is less pay in TV, but same backbiting as Broadway.
Term of the Day: throw me in
throw me in--to publicly fink on someone, reveal culprit behind a mistake.
Term of the Day: “telephone, telegram, tell a stagehand”
“telephone, telegram, tell a stagehand”--propensity of stagehands to gossip, how word gets around.
Term of the Day: take the piss out of someone
take the piss out of someone--to break chops, can be affectionate or nasty
Term of the Day: take a punch
take a punch--able to handle difficult bosses. "I can take a punch, I can handle difficult bosses." "He picks on you because he knows you can take a punch."
Term of the Day: "Take a break, we've got it covered"
"Take a break, we've got it covered"--sarcastic line when a stagehand takes a phonecall on his/her cell phone while others are working hard.
Term of the Day: survival job
survival job--job that an actor has to pay the rent while auditioning for acting roles on Broadway and elsewhere. Survival jobs are often ones that have flexibility to allow an actor go to auditions and callbacks, like restaurant work, personal training and temping.
Term of the Day: summer stock/regional theater on Broadway
summer stock/regional theater on Broadway--Studio 54, the Sondheim (part of the Roundabout empire)and the Samuel Friedman (which is part of the Manhattan Theatre Club)
string-puller
Term of the Day: string-puller--in some theaters or TV studio, the department head may not be the power. The string-puller may be an extra man who does the hiring or makes the policy decisions.
Term of the Day: story on the street
story on the street: major screw up or questionable decision at a show that gets picked up in the stagehand rumor mill on Broadway, becoming part of stagehand legend. "Let us talk to the business agent so this automation decision doesn't become a story on the street."
Term of the Day: to step in shit
to step in shit--to get a job you did not ask for, good fortune coming out of nowhere. "The young stagehand stepped in shit when the assistant was fired and he got the job."
Term of the Day: stagehand torture device
stagehand torture device--badly designed prop or piece of scenery that is handled by a stagehand that may cause an ongoing or permanent injury to the stagehands handling it. "The bed unit in the recent production of 'Betrayal' was so heavy that the nightly shift turned it into a stagehand torture device."
Term of the Day: Stage Door Johnny
Stage Door Johnny--civilian loverboy. In the old days, an admirer or boyfriend of a chorus girl.
Term of the Day: "stabs you in the chest"
"stabs you in the chest"--somebody who will say nasty things to your face. "In Hollywood, a true friend stabs you in the chest."
Term of the Day: spitballing it
spitballing it--to improvise. "Let's spitball it now, until we come up with a permanent solution."
Term of the Day: scut work, scut job
scut work, scut job--tedious, dirty work, often given to the youngest stagehand on the crew. "The young stagehand was given the scut job of cleaning old adhesive off the ramp with a heat gun and a spackle knife."
Term of the Day: running in with my hair on fire
running in with my hair on fire--last-minute shopping experiences for daily TV shows. "I ran into Macy's with my hair on fire, desperate to buy 10 silver casseroles for 'The Tonight Show.'"
Term of the Day: psycho button
psycho button--when you accidentally or intentionally touch the one thing that will make an easygoing stagehand go berserk. Often, the relationship is never the same or completely destroyed. "I pushed his psycho button and he never spoke to me again."
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Term of the Day: spreading the wealth around
spreading the wealth around--when a head deliberately gives calls to multiple stagehands to make sure people have work. Or some heads don't: "I wish he'd spread the wealth around; he only hires the same five stagehands."
Term of the Day: "shove with love"
"shove with love": to push an undertrained or hesitant actor onstage. "The stage manager instructed the other actors to look out for the swing and to take care of her. 'If she's about to miss an entrance, give her a shove with love.'"
Term of the Day: self-inflicted wound
self-inflicted wound: when you hire a bad assistant on a show, it is a self-inflicted wound, that gets all pussy and gross. "The assistant I hired turned out to be a lazy, bipolar creep. He was a self-inflicted wound."
Term of the Day: second banana
second banana--a comedian in a vaudeville or burlesque theater who plays a secondary role. An actor who plays a secondary role to the leading man. A sidekick. "Tony Roberts has had a brilliant career playing second bananas, to Woody Allen in 'Annie Hall' and Al Pacino in 'Serpico.'"
Term of the Day: "Say anything, tell them nothing"
"Say anything, tell them nothing"--old Irish saying, good for dealing with shit-stirrers. Do not give any information that is useful. Give them blarney.
Expression of the Night: "Who's your rabbi?"
"Who's your rabbi?"--Who gives you your work? Who gave you your start in the business? The most interesting explanation I've heard for this expression was that it was from the Lower East Side of the early 20th century. The rabbis of the local synagogues would have their congregants vote in blocs. You could grab a Jewish man on the Lower East Side and ask him, "Who's your rabbi?" When he told you, you'd know what party or candidate he was voting for.
Term of the Night: to rabbi
to rabbi--to rabbi someone, to mentor a stagehand, using rabbi as a verb. "He rabbied me, giving me work when I needed to get my third year to finish my card time."
Term of the Night: pulling focus
pulling focus--when an actor makes large gestures or overacts, they may succeed in shifting the audience's focus to him or her, away from main action of the scene.
Term of the Night: props and craft
props and crafts--making paper goods for a show, tools required are limited to scissors and glue sticks. "Get me some crafty people for tomorrow...it is a day of props and crafts."
Term of the Day: to poach
to poach--to steal a good stagehand from another boss, to take without permission. "During the loadout season, the head of one theater poachedseveral good carpenters from another head."
Term of the Day: “playing through”
“playing through”--(golf term) polite way to say “get out of my way”
Term of the Day: picket captain
picket captain--union member responsible for maintaining picket, making sure striking workers sign in, that protest signs are handed out. Some captains may lead chants and marching around the picket site.
Term of the Day: old-man speed
old-man speed--slow down, you are working too fast. "Go to old-man speed with your mop. The carpenters aren't done with their strike."
Term of the Day: name over the title
name over the title--a star's name is over the title. If the star is out, customers can get their money back.-
Term of the Day: Moscow sprayer
Moscow sprayer--plastic Coke bottle with cap on, hole cut in cap, full of water to spray on wrinkled drops (used by the Eifman Ballet, satire of Hudson sprayer)
Term of the Day: M.E.S.
M.E.S.: mysterious electrical shit. “Recently at my show, an automation console crapped out. The man from the shop had no answer to what happened, but we thought that it was a case of M.E.S."
Term of the Day: maybe the moon is made out of cheese
maybe the moon is made out of cheese--it will never happen, it will never be true. "Maybe So-and-So may retire, but maybe the moon is made out of cheese."
Term of the Day: Mastercard
Mastercard--swing actor who is always in the way of stagehands backstage while he is learning his different tracks. "No matter where you go, he's there," to paraphrase the old credit card commercial.
Term of the Day: "If you like him, invite him to dinner"
"If you like him, invite him to dinner": When two stagehands are engrossed in conversation at the expense of working, the crew chief might yell, "If you like him, invite him to dinner," so they go back to work.
Haunting Term of the Day: "If you kill me, I'll haunt you forever"
"If you kill me, I'll haunt you forever"--said to the young stagehand controlling the chain motor that suspended the piano I was working under.
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Term of the Day: make a federal offense out of something
make a federal offense out of something--when a boss overreacts and makes a big issue out of a small mistake. "You are making a federal offense out of this small mistake." Sometimes, it is gathering offenses to force a stagehand out.
Term of the Day: long in the tooth
long in the tooth--a little too old, too old to be a chorine or ingenue
Term of the Day: "Let's go get an olive soup"
"Let's go get an olive soup"-a martini, "Let's go get a martini."
Term of the Day: jump ship before it sinks
jump ship before it sinks--when the contract men and women on a show start leaving for other jobs as the ticket sales start going down.
Term of the Day: junior shit-stirrer
junior shit-stirrer-young stagehand who tries to stir up controversy without guile or skill. Often not aware of the alliances that he or she is stepping on.
Expression of the Day: "I've seen a lot of buses go over me at this show"
"I've seen a lot of buses go over me at this show"--hostile work environment where people are routinely thrown in by others...told from the perspective of somebody thrown under the bus. see also: thrown under the bus, thrown in.
Term of the Day: character actor/actress
character actor/actress--actor who plays important comic or dramatic roles, that is neither a lead nor a member of the chorus. Often actresses that age out of playing ingenues, and actors that may not have the charisma or looks to be leading men.
half and half
half and half--dangerous procedure for getting a long, heavy item off a liftgate truck, where you hang half the item off the lift, and men hold the weight up as the lift goes down.
Term of the Day: great lady of the theater
great lady of the theater--usually affectionate term, applied to older character actresses who have been around for a while or older dressers or wardrobe supervisors. Can be sarcastic.
Term of the Day: from the trades
from the trades: when a stagehand comes from another related industry like construction, the carpenters' union or the electrical workers (IBEW)...usually means that he or she comes in with specific skills, usually a recommendation. "Oh yeah, the new carpenter at the load in comes from the trades."
Term of the Day: "Fuck the road...this is Broadway"
"Fuck the road...this is Broadway"...standard response to a roadman who repeatedly bleats "This is how we did it on the road."
Term of the Day: first sweep
first sweep--house prop man's #1, the first assistant. "Bill is the first sweep at that theater." See also: first broom.
Scalper Term of the Day: diggers, digging out the show
diggers--people who buy large blocks of tickets for ticket resellers when hot new shows start selling tickets. "The box office treasurer limited sales to 10 tickets a day per person, to try to thwart the diggers who buy large blocks of tickets for ticket resellers." "They buy weekend and holiday tickets," she said. "They are digging out the show."
Term of the Day: cheap it out
cheap it out (v.): to use cheap, inappropriate materials when building scenery. "The shop used pine when building the deck instead of a hardwood...they cheaped it out."
Term of the Day: bit, the bit
bit, the bit--how a prop is used, a gag onstage. "What's the bit? During the bit, how does the prop keep getting broken?" See also: the business
Friday, March 3, 2017
Terms of the Day: "I'll cut you," "I'll cut your pretty face"
"I'll cut you," "I'll cut your pretty face"--mock threats of violence, when somebody crosses the line.
Term of the Day: idiot check
idiot check--to double check a preset before a prop is used in a scene. Also: dummy check.
Expression of the Day: "He hates his men almost as much as he hates himself"
"He hates his men almost as much as he hates himself"--said of a famously difficult head.
Term of the Day: black swan
black swan--an unpredictable or unforeseen event, typically one with extreme consequences
Term of the Day: mad skills
mad skills--description of a great mechanic. "He has mad skills...he can build anything you want."
Overheard Stagehand Line #14: "I had to quit that venue for health reasons..."
Overheard Stagehand Line #14:"I had to quit that venue for health reasons...my doctor said the pervasive whining was making me go deaf."
Term of the Day: shotgun side
shotgun side--passenger side of a truck. When loading a truck, you can say, "Stack the platforms on the shotgun side," which means the right-hand side.
Term of the Day: "If it's free, it is for me."
"If it's free, it is for me."--an expression explaining the stagehand romance with swag.
Term of the Day: "I came from the back of a truck"
"I came from the back of a truck"--No matter where you wind up in the stage industry, the vast majority of us started by unloading trucks. A lot of heads should remember this when they make decisions that affect stagehands working under them.
Term of the Day: "heard it on the Erie"
"heard it on the Erie"--to discuss gossip with someone, often the subject of that gossip. "I heard it on the Erie that you got the head's job at the Booth."
Term of the Day: great lady of the theater
great lady of the theater--usually affectionate term, applied to older character actresses who have been around for a while or older dressers or wardrobe supervisors. Can be sarcastic.
Term of the Day: go medieval on someone
go medieval on someone-- to go out of your way to hurt somebody who has wronged you, to torture someone for a slight or a screwing...borrowed from the dungeon scene in "Pulp Fiction." "I'm going to go medieval on his ass after that load in."
Term of the Day: Edgewater Boys
Edgewater Boys--New Jersey stagehands from the rough waterfront town of Edgewater, wear shorts until December.
Term of the Day: get it on the load out
get it on the load out--when a prop, a flashlight or an important piece of hardware rolls under the show deck, it is often impossible to retrieve. Someone will say, "We'll get it on the loadout," meaning the item will be retrieved then, or possibly never.
Term of the Day: to futz around
to futz around--to waste time. (From the Yiddish arumfatzen, to fart about.) "I was futzing around in the basement before my first cue."
Term of the Day: fuck-you fund
fuck-you fund--money saved so you can quit a job and buy time to look for another job. Money so you can say "fuck you" to a bad boss and leave.
Thursday, March 2, 2017
Term of the Day: French alteration
French alteration--placebo alteration for a troublesome actor, calming them down by pretending to fix a costume (from SAPSIS Rigging)
Term of the Day: "Fire in the hole!"
"Fire in the hole!"--warning that pyro will be tested. I think it is an old mining term.
Term of the Night: first cover
first cover--an actor paid to cover the star of a show, who may have no role of their own in the show. If so, they are a standby, meaning they are required to be available for every performance to cover the star, to be on standby. The standby is a principal contract and can only be on standby for principals in the show. (A standby may cover multiple principals. Sometimes by contract, the standby must be within a 15-minute walk of the theater while the performance is on. A second cover is often an ensemble member who is rehearsed to cover the star role when the first cover is sick or on vacation.
Term of the Day: "catch of the day"
"catch of the day"--when a head hires different extra men and women on different days of a load in, with varying skill levels, so there is no consistency. The poor contract head doesn't know what he or she is going to get.
Term of the Day: bringing him along
bringing him along--to mentor or help a young stagehand, to bring up to speed
Term of the Day: (to) blow someone up
(to) blow someone up--to attack another stagehand's reputation to others.
Term of the Day: short-timer
short-timer--stagehand who has gotten another job and has given notice. Or a stagehand who is vocal about his/her nearing retirement date. From the Vietnam-era Army rotations, where soldiers knew the exact number of months that they were "in country." Towards the end of their tours, they were called short-timers.
Term of the Day: showmance
showmance (n.)--when two company members, be they cast, crew or musicians, become romantically and/or physically involved. Often happens on long-running shows. Sometimes it's the stars, like Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson on "Anna Christie."
Term of the Day: show doctor
show doctor--comes in to save hopeless shows, Jerry Zaks. "Jerry Zaks was the show doctor on 'The Addams Family,' saving the show and giving it a healthy run on Broadway."
Term of the Day: short shelf life
short shelf life--dancers and ingenues don't often last very long on Broadway.
Term of the Day: self-winder
self-winder--someone who is easily wound up by gossip or a rumor, often done intentionally by others. See also: wind him/her up.
Term of the Day: prop trauma
prop trauma--actor freaks out over prop and may break it, and becomes a possible candidate for shunning.
Term of the Day: shakedown day
shakedown day--day for collecting checks after working at multiple venues the week before.
Term of the Day: overhire
overhire--worker hired at a scenic shop during a busy season. Not a regular. "The overhires were let go after the Met shop finished building the new opera."
Term of the Day: no stripes
no stripes--"I have no stripes," that means that I am not a boss. Conversely, a know-it-all stagehand may start barking orders, and may be asked sarcastically, "Ooh, who gave you stripes?" Also: No feathers.
Term of the Day: noble failure
noble failure--a Broadway show that receives rave reviews and is an artistic favorite in the Broadway community, but has dismal ticket sales and dies a quick death. These shows are mounted on Broadway when producers follow their hearts, rather then their wallets.
Term of the Day: buried alive
buried alive--when you work at the long-running show like "Phantom" or "Wicked," people think you have retired.
Term of the Day: break your chops
break your chops--to make fun of someone, sometimes harmless, sometimes malicious
Term of the Day: backers’ audition
backers’ audition--when potential producers see a crude run-through of a play that aspires to Broadway. May be held at the end of a workshop.
Term of the Day: asshole factory
asshole factory--harsh, unhappy union shop that creates many assholes.
Term of the Day: 8 bells, eight bells
8 bells, eight bells--8 a.m., start of most morning calls (nautical)
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Term of the Day: proud of his temper
proud of his temper--combative stagehand, willing to fight. "He was a bit too proud of his temper. It made it hard for him to get work.
Term of the Day: boneyard
boneyard--area at concert ground load-in where scaffolding that is about to be used is stored. If the area is large enough, stagehands working in the boneyard may drive a golf cart back and forth with necessary pieces to the work areas. The scaffolding is brought to stagehands working on steel as it is needed.
Term of the Day: blowing their wad
blowing their wad--to run out of money, when the producers run out of money. "The frantic workcalls during the production period were suddenly cancelled. We realized the producers had blown their wad." Of course, there is the dirty meaning as well.
Term of the Day: my money
my money--earning the $37.5K in the Local #1 jurisdiction every year to get card time or a pension credit. This becomes a big issue for contract stagehands who are trying to get a Local #1 card. "I can't take a pink contract now. I need to earn my money for this year to finish my card time. I am in my third and last year."
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