Term of the Night: "much, much better than new"

 "much, much better than new"--after a repair onstage or after a paint call, where the set looks all bright and new, a stagehand or a scenic may say, "Much, much better than new," in a sarcastic or boastful manner. The line comes from an old Meineke Muffler commercial from the 1980's.

Term of the Night: willing lambs to the slaughter

willing lambs to the slaughter--producers with dubious Broadway vehicles. "When I read in today's Times that a musical about Cher was in the works, I thought of the producers, where Broadway has a 90 percent failure rate, as willing lambs to the slaughter.

Term of the Day: my zombie apocalypse stash

my zombie apocalypse stash--important, common-use items hidden by a propman or carpenter for future emergency use and only given up grudgingly. "Those are my last two rolls of double-face tape, from my zombie apocalypse stash...I don't really want to give them up."

Term of the Day: juke-box musical

juke-box musical--musicals based on the pop music of one old star or a time period (1950's or 1960's). Some hit big ("Jersey Boys" will  have run for 11 years  when it closes; "Moving Out" ran for about two years, and "Beautiful" is still going strong), but most fail, like:

"Good Vibrations" (Beach Boys)
"Makes Me Wanna Holler" (Tupac Shakur)
"Bullets Over Broadway" (1920's popular music, finale was "Yes, We Have No Bananas")
"Saturday Night Fever" (Bee Gees)
"Dream" (music of Johnny Mercer, bombed  in 1997)

Term of the Day: the fix was in

the fix was in--Things were determined a long time ago. Even though the heads' jobs for the new Hudson Theatre were listed in the union newsletter, the fix was in months ago.

Term of the Day: ass-kissy

ass-kissy-- adjective describing a stagehand known for laughing at head's bad jokes, buying unasked-for cups of coffee.

Term of the Moment: the best part of the production period...

"The best part of the production period is when the producers run out of money and stop holding 8 a.m. work calls.""The frantic work calls during the production period were suddenly cancelled. We realized the producers had blown their wad." "Even if the producers cry poverty, if there are still work calls, there is still money." 

Term of the Day: "I love the smell of overtime in the morning-"

"I love the smell of overtime in the morning"--on that hard-to-achieve sixth day of work on load-ins,  those who work all six days start the day at time and a half. The quote is a takeoff of the Robert Duvall line in "Apocalypse Now."

Term of the night: backstabby

backstabby--an adjective describing a stagehand prone to backstabbing, but not a major shit-stirrer.
"Watch your back, he's a bit backstabby when it comes to union politics."

Term of the Morning: "Having fun and making money."

"Having fun and making money"--another good sarcastic line when there is chaos at the theater. Nothing rankles your enemies more than being happy and unflappable.

Term of the Night: "Happy to be here!"

"Happy to be here!"--as Rome burns and the load-in goes south, don't complain or pick sides. Put a broad smile on your face and say, "Happy to be here!" It is a personal shield more appropriate for Indians than heads. Also, you can say when there is blood on the floor, "Happy to have the job."

Term of the Night: Broadway quality

Broadway quality--sarcastic comment of quality of work being done. "That's not Broadway quality!" "Those streamers are Broadway quality."

Term of the Day: when you're happy and you know it

when you're happy and you know it--when the piece is in the right place and you can screw it down. From the old children's diddy.

Overheard Stagehand Line #11: "These producers are so nice..."

"These producers are so nice, but we are still going to bill them for every hour." Even when you like the producers, you still have to get paid.

Term of the Day: they're not done flogging us

they're not done flogging us-- no end to the work calls during the production period. While doing production on a Broadway show, there is a seemingly endless period of 8am work calls. During the production period of the unsuccessful 2016 musical "Shuffle Along," the crew worked for 33 days straight, with many 8am calls.

Term of the Day: "somebody's got a tax shelter"

 "somebody's got a tax shelter"--when the producers are spending money hand over fist on a show that is destined to bomb, some wag might say,  "Somebody's got a tax shelter."

Term of the Night: lush roller

lush roller--a petty criminal who specializes in robbing drunks passed out on the subway. It is a lost art, where the robber cuts a U-shaped hole in the front pocket of the passed-out drunk and pulls the wallet out. This happened to a famously drunk stagehand in the last few years on the subway going out to Queens.A man is his early eighties was arrested for lush rolling last year.

Term of the Night: whipping chain

whipping chain--when short bits of chain are wrapped around the wheels of heavy items like Knack boxes, road boxes, electric boxes and dollies full of lumber to prevent them from rolling off the sidewalk or down a loading ramp. Experienced stagehands can whip the chain in one quick motion, wrapping the chain around the wheels and stopping the boxes from rolling.

Term of the Night: an out-to-pasture head

an out-to-pasture head--a head who has stayed beyond their expiration date, is physically or emotionally incapable of doing their job, or abdicates the decision making and hiring to underlings.

Term of the Day: elder tantrum

elder tantrum--sudden, usually inappropriate bursts of anger from older stagehands, set in their ways.

Term of the Day: a vista scene change

a vista scene change-- scene change in view of the audience. "The flying out of the 32,000 pound mansion unit during 'Sunset Boulevard' was one of the greatest a vista scene changes I have ever seen."