Term of the Day: blood curtain

blood curtain--clear, plastic curtain lowered in before the blood cannons go off in "American Psycho," to protect the audience from blood splatter from the copious amounts of blood used in the show. Allegedly, the blood splatter, without the curtain, can hit the first seven rows. After a recent performance, a patron was heard screaming, "Who's gonna clean the blood of my Louis Vuitton bag?" She's the perfect yuppie demographic.

Term of the Day: "Snatch the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper."

"Snatch the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper"--when the disciple can snatch the pebble from the master's hand, he is ready.  Can be used as a sarcastic reference while training a young stagehand. Old line in the1970's TV show "Kung Fu," where in politically incorrect fashion, David Carradine played a Chinese kung-fu master in exile in the Old West.

Term of the Night: great lady of the theater

great lady of the theater--usually affectionate term, applied to older character actresses who have been around for a while or older dressers or wardrobe supervisors. Can be sarcastic.

Overheard Stagehand Line #10: "I only work for assholes if there is costume money involved."

"I only work for assholes if there is costume money involved"--who wouldn't want to make $184 a week for changing your pants?

Defiant Term of the Night: fuck-you fund

fuck-you fund--money saved so you can quit a job and buy time to look for another job. Money so you can say "fuck you" to a bad boss and leave.

Term of the Day: you reap what you sow

you reap what you sow--when your decisions or actions have long term and usually bad results. "The young stagehand's fistfight with an assistant designer got him banned from most industrials. You reap what you sow."

Term of the Day: the Roundabout list

the Roundabout list--in the mid-1990s, the then-president of IATSE Tommy Short decided to force Local #1 to take in  new members, flexing his muscles. IATSE hired a former business agent from Local #1 to organize several small venues throughout the city that had little value to Local #1. This included the Roundabout, the non-profit theater company. At one point, about 50 people were on "the Roundabout list," to be forced on Local #1. At the end of the day, only about 30 people came in from the Roundabout.

Term of the Day: to get panned

to get panned--to get a bad review. ""In his typical self-indulgent reviewing style, Ben Brantley panned 'American Psycho' while still extolling the virtues of Ben Walker's hardbody."

New Contract Rules: "Advance contracts can point, but they can't touch!"

"Advance contracts can point, but they can't touch!"--new restrictions on what advance pinks can do in the theater. They can direct local stagehands, but can't do work themselves. "Under the League contract signed in 2015, advance pinks can point, but they can't touch."

Term of the Day: war stories

war stories--when an older stagehand tells stories of the old days, difficult load ins, abusive techs and drunk stars. The stories can be incredibly funny and can have a cautionary side. Or they can be self pitying or self aggrandizing. Often the teller is given the starring role as a hero or the victim to forces he or she can't control. "War stories in the mouth of a young stagehand just always seem boorish."

Term of the Day: collateral damage

collateral damage--unintended victims. "When the head was fired and replaced, his regular stagehands never worked in that theater again. They were collateral damage to regime change."

Term of the Day: on the boards, tread the boards

on the boards, tread the boards--to be working in the theater, to be on Broadway, to be an actor.

Unsentimental Stagehand Education #2: "You have to be close enough to kiss 'em before you can fuck 'em"

"You have to be close enough to kiss 'em before you can fuck 'em"-- A piece of advice on the turbulent nature of negotiations in the theater.

Unsentimental Stagehand Education #1: "You can learn a lot by being in the right room and keeping your mouth shut."

"You can learn a lot by being in the right room and keeping your mouth shut"--sometimes when you are present when the deals are being made, it is better to listen to the masters and to learn, not talk.

Term of the Night: "Time to make the donuts"

"Time to make the donuts"--start of the call, especially an early morning one. From the old Dunkin' Donuts commercial with the exhausted baker getting up for work.

Overheard Stagehand Line #8: "He hates his men almost as much as he hates himself"

"He hates his men almost as much as he hates himself"--said of a famously difficult head.

Punchline of the Day: And what, quit show business?

And what, quit show business?--the punchline to the old elephant joke. To be said when doing a really  disgusting task.
Here's the joke:
A man who spent 25 years scooping up the elephant poop at the circus was complaining about his disgusting job. "I hate my job, I can't take it anymore," he said vehemently.
"Why don't you find another job?" said the friend.
Shocked, the man responded, "And what, quit show business?"

Primate Term of the Day: Don't show your teeth until you have to

Don't show your teeth until you have to--controlling signs of aggression in a confrontation.

Term of the Day: bent out of shape

bent out of shape--to become angry, to blow up. "The head was bent out of shape when he found his guys took a 40-minute coffee break."

Term of the Day: kowtow

kowtow--to bow down, to show servile deference. From the Chinese.

Term of the Moment: happy as a pig in shit

happy as a pig in shit--when one is happy at work or delusionally happy.

Overheard Stagehand Line #7: "Why don't we get paid construction for building IKEA furniture?"

"Why don't we get paid construction for building IKEA furniture?"...overheard at a union meeting. The line speaks for itself.

Neutrality Term of the Night: "I'm not sticking my hand in that blender"

"I'm not sticking my hand in that blender"--when two stagehands are fighting over something trivial, it is better to declare neutrality.

Historical Term of the Moment: special won-ton soup to go

special won-ton soup to go--whiskey in a take-out soup container. China Peace was a Chinese restaurant that ran for decades in Hell's Kitchen. It was at three different locations over time. Legendary stagehands and legendary drinkers would go there on matinee days. The owner was agreeable to fixing special "to-go" cups for his regular customers.

Term without Mercy: vultures start circling

vultures start circling--when a stagehand or musician is on the cusp of being fired, people will start coming by, looking to take their jobs. "The vultures started circling when the word was on the street that the concertmaster at 'Lion King' was going to be fired." "The weak show wasn't even out of previews when the producers of a show looking for a theater started asking about the theater. The vultures  had started circling while the show was still alive."

Term of the Night: the usual suspects

the usual suspects--stagehands you'd expect to see at a load in, working for a particular head. "At the load in, who did you see working in Electrics? Oh, the usual suspects." Taken from the 1995 Kevin Spacey movie. "Who is running for office this time around?" "Oh, the usual suspects."

Self-preservation Term of the Night: "Be careful, my back is my moneymaker"

"Be careful, my back is my moneymaker"--you can say this when someone asks you to lift a rediculously heavy thing without enough help. A healthy, strong back is a stagehand's cash cow.

Term of the Night--liquid dinner

liquid dinner--when someone drinks their dinner as opposed to eating it.

Term of the Day: no good deed goes unpunished

no good deed goes unpunished--sometimes a generous action bites you on the ass. It is also the title of the best song in "Wicked." "I hired a man who needed a job and proceeded to stab me in the back. No good deed goes unpunished."

Term of the Day: the gift that keeps on giving

"the gift that keeps on giving"--when a defective system is installed during a load in, the mechanical errors, be they automation or lighting, are ongoing and constant, and thus a gift that keeps on giving. "The badly designed center stage elevator dry faulted again. It is the gift that keeps on giving." Or it can refer to a stagehand, who makes the same mistakes over and over. "Ted missed his Act I finale cue again. He's the gift that keeps on giving."