Self-Destructive Term of the Moment: Napalm

Napalm--nickname for stagehand known for burning all bridges.

Term of the Day: representing

representing--to show up, to represent your union shop. "I'll be at the Met picket. I'll be representing."

Term of the Day: BPs

BPs--box pushers, unskilled stagehands used in large arena calls.

Term of the Day: a deep bench

a deep bench--having a talented crew working for you, including great subs. "The carpenter always made sure to have a deep bench of talented stagehands working for him."

Term of the Day: "What a bad day to stop sniffing glue"

"What a bad day to stop sniffing glue"--when the shit hits the fan, this is a good line, when a person yearns for the bad habits that calmed them down. Or when you smell someone using epoxy in large quantities. Used by the comic actor Leslie Nielson in the movie "Airplane."

Term of the Night: to brown the boss

to brown the boss-- to kiss up to the boss

Term of the Day: stick a fork in it

stick a fork in it--you're done

Ghostly Threat of the Moment: "If you kill me, I'll haunt you forever"

"If you kill me, I'll haunt you forever"--said to the young stagehand controlling the chain motor that suspended the piano I was working under.

Gentle Term of the Night: Youngblood

Youngblood--nickname for a young stagehand, useful when correcting him or her. "Youngblood, the painted side goes downstage."

RIP, Bam Bam

Thomas Lowery, a Local #1 stagehand known to most as Bam Bam, died of a heart attack on Monday, February 22nd. Bam Bam was a colorful, larger-than-life figure, who worked at Madison Square Garden and the Lyric. He was on the acclaimed "Fiddler" revival at the Broadway when he died. I think Bam Bam was only 54.

Heartfelt condolences to Thomas Lowery's family and his coworkers. Rest in Peace, Bam Bam.

Term of the Moment: union thug

union thug--you might as well embrace the label that rabid right wingers like that sleazy Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker slaps onto good working men and women. A particularly tough Broadway head I know showed up to a  mammoth load in wearing a "union thug" t-shirt in light purple. A fierce woman head I know, who fought her way into a position of power over 30 years, prefers her own t-shirt adorned with flowers.  Also: strike-tested union thug. The etymology of thug is very interesting...it comes from robbers in India from the early 1800's who would strangle their victims.

Term of the Night: Who killed his puppy?

Who killed his puppy?--said of a carpenter who always has either a mopey or a pissed-off look on his face.

Cranky Old-Timer Expression of the Night: "There are Two Ways to Do This, My Way or My Way Mad"

"There are two ways to do this, my way or my way mad"--an old-timer response when a young stagehand suggests another option.

Term of the Night: hand-raising assholes

hand-raising assholes--some assholes are made, not born. Sometimes your rabbi may be a force for evil, and will instill the gratuitous, dickish qualities that can get you a reputation as an asshole. A takeoff on hand-raising chickens.

Term from a Broadway Icon: "I'll turn you into a hood ornament!"

"I'll turn you into a hood ornament!"--Jerry Lewis, when he was at "Damn Yankees" in 1995, told his dresser, "I'll turn you into a hood ornament" when he was dissatisfied with something, meaning that he'd run him down with a car. I think that must have come from Jerry's years in Las Vegas.

Term of the Day: See You Next Tuesday

See You Next Tuesday--spelling out a very bad word...an artful way to use it.

Term of the Day: young buck(s)

young buck(s)--young, muscular stagehand, good for lifting heavy things. Or the exact opposite. "Would you young bucks help me bring this roadbox down to the basement?"

Term of the Moment: cake gig

cake gig--an easy show to work, not many cues and little or no arduous work.

Term of the Night: too handy

too handy--when a dancer put his or her hands in an indelicate place on another dancer. "The female ensemble member remarked that one of the chorus boys was a bit too handy when they danced together."

Term of the Proper Moment: cut your language

cut your language--watch your language, no cursing, often because there are children backstage.

Term of the Day: Pull your punches

pull your punches--to not hit with full strength, to not criticize someone as fully as you can. From the stuntmen in the old Western movies, they were told during fight scenes to pull their punches. The opposite is I pull no punches, meaning I am going to tell you the truth, even if it hurts.

Term of the Day: laugh track

laugh track--crew member who always laughs at the head's jokes. Like the laugh track used on old TV shows. "Danny was the old carpenter's laugh track, whether the jokes were funny or not."

Term of the Day: Stockholm syndrome

Stockholm syndrome--where hostages begin to identify with their captors, when stagehands continue to work for the same difficult heads or techs. 'I did five shows with that tech, even though he treated me like dogmeat. It must be a case of Stockholm syndrome."

Term of the Pugilistic Moment: the gloves are off

(the) gloves are off--the real fighting is going to begin, things have escalated.

Term of the Moment: full freight

full freight--full price, full-price tickets. "House seats are great seats, but alas, you have to pay full freight."

Term of the Night: NBC--Nepotism Before Competence.

NBC--Nepotism Before Competence, or Nephews, Brothers and Cousins, or Nephews, Bartenders and Cousins. The initials of the TV network lays out common hiring practices. I must note that there are excellent heads at NBC who do fight the union fight everyday and who hire the best Local #1 stagehands they can find.

Archaic Term of the Day: fathers and sons local

fathers and son local--before the organizational list was put into effect and before women started fighting their way into Local #1, the local was known as a fathers and sons local, where each card member could nominate one person for membership, usually a son. If you had two sons, you would find a member with only daughters, and get him to nominate your second son.

The first woman was initiated into Local #1 in December 1977. I am trying to track down the name of this tough sister.

Term of the Snow Day: pure stagehandese

pure stagehandese--stagehand slang, a stagehand who is conversant in the slang used by Local #1 stagehands. Often generational stagehands, whose fathers or grandfathers were in Local #1. I find that many stagehands under 50 don't understand what a busted valise is. "One of the extra men in the carpentry department speaks the purest stagehandese I have ever heard."

Revenge Term of the Moment: "Smile when you stick the knife in"

"Smile when you stick the knife in"--sometimes getting revenge can be BOTH business and pleasure.

Terms of Faith: I changed congregations

I changed congregations--it is another way of saying "I have a new rabbi."

Get Out of Dodge Term: exit preset

exit preset--when you get your bag and coat ready so you can run out the door to make your bus or train.

Seen on a 1970's Local #1 T-Shirt: "Stagehands Do It On Cue"

"Stagehands Do It On Cue"--This was a t-shirt from the 1970's or the early eighties. To hammer out all nuance, there was a stage screw under the slogan.

Anti-authoritarian Term of the Night: "Say anything, tell them nothing"

"Say anything, tell them nothing"--old Irish saying, good for dealing with shit-stirrers and authority figures. Do not give any information that is useful. Give them blarney.

Retirement Term of the Week: sunsetting

sunsetting--gradually fading out, heading towards retirement. "The old stagehand started doing only four shows a week. He was sunsetting his stage career."

Yiddish Term of the Night: fatootsed

fatootsed--(Yiddish, or maybe fake Yiddish) to be distracted, to be frustrated. "I was all fatootsed learning the new prop track."