Term of the Moment: To Wildhorn, Wildhorned

To Wildhorn--So Frank Wildhorn has had another mutilated show on the Broadway boards. "His "Bonnie and Clyde" just went down after a savaging by the New York Times reviewer Ben Brantley last week. I was telling people that "Bonnie and Clyde" was gunned down by sheriffs' deputies from three Texas counties. In March, Wildhorn's retelling of "Alice in Wonderland, a hip-hop fable called "Wonderland," also closed very quickly. My new term, "to wildhorn" a musical is when a reviewer hates the music and body of work of a particular composer. The reviewer will damn the new musical with the composer's previously detested work. A sample sentence would be, "Ben Brantley doesn't like James Lapine, so he always wildhorns his new musicals."

Term of the Moment: Road Whore

Road Whore: A stagehand who stays on the road, moving from show to show, with no plans to settle in one city. No sexual connotations, should be used for both sexes.

Term of the Moment: Regime Change

Regime change: Regime change just doesn't happen in Libya. When a long-time head is fired or abruptly retires, his or her crew may be thrown for a loop. What may have seemed like years-long or lifetime employment for extra men and women may suddenly end.

Item of the Moment: Stagehand Nap Blankets

Stagehand Nap Blankets-- I can sleep on any surface, including the concrete floor of an orchestra pit covered with a cheap fireproofed carpet, or on the bench of a radial-arm saw. I am in true stagehand heaven when I get ahold of one or two trucking blankets, which I recently heard referred to as Stagehand Nap Blankets.

Term of the Moment: Adult Supervision

"Get adult supervision"--find a supervisor, a head or even a designer to detail the work that has to be done. When a small crew of extra men needs direction, sometimes a loudmouth in the group will start barking out orders. A saner crew member might say, "Let's get adult supervision," meaning get the person responsible for the project to sign off on it or to explain what has to be done.

Term of the Moment: Children Driving Box Trucks

Children Driving Box Trucks: At one of the TV stations, a certain producer tries to save money by throwing in interns to carry out stagehand duties, like loading box trucks and driving them to digital remotes. The 20-year-old interns often screw up and adults (i.e. union stagehands) have to step in, costing more money with additional labor to undo the screw up. My boss will sigh and say, "Ah, children driving box trucks." The producer will have her wrist slapped, but will do it again when she gets the chance.

For the Whiner on Your Crew: Weeping Willow

Weeping Willow--constant complainer, a name given to the old scenic at East Coast Theatrical Supply in the 1980s. Another good choice includes Debbie Downer.

Expression of the next moment: "Heard it on the Erie"

"heard it on the Erie"--to discuss gossip with someone, often the subject of that gossip. "I heard it on the Erie that you got the head's job at the Booth." The Erie reference is to the Erie Canal.

Expression of the Moment: Who's Who in the Zoo

Who's Who in the Zoo. I was working at NBC recently, when the foreman of the Outside Props crew said that he wanted to know my availability. "I need to know who's who in the zoo," he explained, meaning who was going to be on his crew for the next few weeks.

Term of the Moment: Head hubris

Head hubris: This condition occurs when a stagehand has been the head of a theater or a TV studio for a long time and gets it into their head that they can hire whoever they want, no matter what level of experience that person has. "Screw you," says the head, "I'm going to hire who I want, even if it's my barber's son, fresh out of prison, or a retired Rockette." Union card is no issue for these heads, even during a recession.

Term of the Moment: Brick in the Wall

brick in the wall: to ignore existence of another person in the theater.

When I worked at "Cats" on Broadway in the 1990s, there was this very dignified, very tough Italian head carpenter at the Wintergarden Theatre named Carmine. The PSM was rude to him one day, and Carmine was reported to say, “From now on, he’s another brick in the wall.” Despite all the attempts by the PSM to engage the carpenter, the man never registered on Carmine's radar again. This went on for several years until the PSM left for another job. See also: shunning.

Term of the Moment: Producer Pep Talk

Producer Pep Talk--when box office numbers start dropping, the producers will sometimes make a misguided move of calling a company meeting to give the cast and crew a pep talk. If someone says that classic line, "We are going to run it!" run to the phones and start calling around for work. The boat is truly listing at that point. Usually the producer pep talk indicates that the closing notice will be posted in the next week or two. The smart stagehand can keep abreast of tell-tale signs of an ailing show--workcalls are cancelled, sound isn't allowed to order new batteries, wardrobe can't order new costumes for swings.

Term of the Day: Piss line

piss line--hose running from fly floor to the theater alley (holdover from heavy drinking days). I think there is a piss line in the Broadhurst. Men in hemp houses have been known to pee in the sand barrel (sand used to fill sandbags).

Word of the Moment: "Wave the flag"

Wave the flag--making a presence on deck. Particularly for prop people, going onstage during a load in, to sweep and make your presence known to other departments and the tech. (Philip Feller)

Term of the Moment: Shaping

shape up, shaping, shape the hall--look for work (longshoreman’s term, lit. showing up to show you are in shape). Before most last-minute replacement work was routed through the union hall, men would show up to the theater at load-ins or loadouts with their tools, looking for work. When I first showed up at the replacement room in 1993, the late Bobby Hancox greeted me in a wreath of cigarette smoke, and said, "You shaping?" I nodded, not knowing what he meant.

Term of the Moment: Out-of-Town Tryout

out-of-town tryout--out-of-town stop, opportunity to fix the show. It was more common twenty or thirty years ago, but shows would do one or several stops out of town to work and rework the show. Some major success stories are "Wicked"(which went to San Francisco) and "The Addams Family"(which went to Chicago). Both shows were deeply flawed, but the out-of-town work made them into the hits they are (or in the "Addams" case, soon-to-be WERE). In the case of "Addams," the producers brought in Jerry Zaks, the show doctor, who made the most important changes in New York. An out-of-town closing, when the producers pull the plug due to the quality of show or no money is like a miscarriage--the show was not meant to be born.

Term of the Moment: "Don't Get a Sunburn"

"Don't Get a Sunburn"--Like the rest of the nation, stagehands are drinking much less than they used to, but there is still a proud crew that hits the gin mills during lunchtime, and for some hardcore drinkers, it is during the coffee break. The guy who taught me the term "Don't get a sunburn," a head's admonishment to his men, then proceeded to come back from lunch happier than he was at 8 a.m. The companion term is "gum chewer," which is when you see a crew of guys coming back from dinner chewing gum, which means that most likely beers were consumed. I was working a loadout recently, where somebody said, "Oh, So-and-So is fine until after lunch," commenting on the quality of his work in relation to the alcohol level in his blood.

Term of the Moment: Break your shovel

Break your shovel: I would imagine this term was stolen from our ditch-digging cousins. It means that you have burned all your bridges and that you are truly and finally fired. I was once on the verge of getting fired, and I called the boss over the boss who was trying to fire me, and I said "I don't want to break my shovel." The big boss on the phone got riled up and said, "Who said anything about breaking your shovel?" I knew my job was safe.--Dylan Foley

Word of the Moment: Show doctor

Show doctor: A show doctor is a well-known director who can take a musical that is DOA on Broadway and pull it together. Jerry Zaks is such a man. He saved "The Addams Family" when all reports was that the show stunk out of town and could not be saved. He added the classic snapping from the TV show that was not in the out-of-town tryout.

Word of the Moment: Longitis

Longitis is a term that captures the insanity of long-running Broadway shows, the hateful wardrobe department at "Jersey Boys," the fact that the departments don't talk to each other at "Phantom of the Opera." My father once said of "Cats" that "The show has been running so long that the stagehands are starting to talk to each other again." I think that was a line he stole from "Phantom." The most base motives come out in long-running shows--at "Phantom," a principal actor started stealing from the musicians. I give credit for the term to that beautiful man John Thomson of "Jersey Boys."

Term of the Moment: Who's Your Rabbi?

Who's your Rabbi? Who is your mentor, who is the person who gives you work? A "rabbi," a term used by stagehands of all religious stripes, means a person who brought you along in the business, a person who takes care of you work wise, and who you owe favors to. It is a term of endearment. It comes from the early 20th century political machines on New York City's Lower East Side, where Jewish voters of particular neighborhoods would vote in blocs, following the lead of their rabbi. You could grab a Jewish voter, and by finding out who his rabbi was, you would know who he was going to vote for. (Dylan Foley)