Term of the Day: kissing George M. Cohan

kissing George M. Cohan-- a rite of passage for new Broadway actors, you kiss the statue of George M. Cohan in Times Squarewhen you gt your first job. A young actress, who has starred in "School of Rock," "Here Lies Love" and "Suffs," said that after she kissed George, she thought of the years of pigeon shit and smeared Purell all over her lips. See also: George M. Cohan's back pocket.

Term of the Night: honeypot

honeypot--a woman used to put other women at ease, or a sex-linked trap. "During his 30-year career of raping and molesting actresses, the movie producer Harvey Weinstein used honeypots, usually a woman assistant, to lull the actress into a sense of security, so she would go to the hotel room alone, to be assaulted by Weinstein." A honeypot is also a female spy who seduces a diplomat or other foreign official with sex, to gain state secrets.

Term of the Day: bad TV habits on Broadway

bad TV habits on Broadway--when despite the big pay bump of coming to Broadway, a TV commando sticks to her bad TV habits. "Desperate for labor, I hired a TV commando. She was obsessed with breaks, worked slowly and disappeared on occasion. On her first day, she barked orders at older stagehands and her attitude was sullen. I guess she brought bad TV habits to Broadway."

Term of the Day: mean girls on Broadway

mean girls on Broadway-- life never transcends high school. There is a middle-aged woman stagehand who routinely attacks other women and young male stagehands. "The woman stagehand attacked another woman for wearing red lipstick to a load-in. It seems like a case of mean girls on Broadway." Should be used with both sexes.

Term of the Night: strangling the golden goose

strangling the golden goose--when a stagehand makes a concerted effort to destroy his/her cushy job, resulting in firing or being forced out. "The deranged soundman attacked every department at the big juke box musical. Despite an overage, he attacked his boss, strangling the golden goose. He quit before his inevitable firing."

Expression of the Day: Local #1 karma

Local #1 karma-- where the punishment fits the crime. "After the propman threatened another head in front of a dozen witnesses in front of his own theater, he was thrown under the bus. This was a case of Local #1 karma, for the dopey propman owns a bus company in Jersey."

Expression of the Day: swan diving into the tar pits

swan diving into the tar pits-- after a decade of attacking his fellow stagehands, the Old Turd, a nasty old carpenter, finally assaulted a wardrobe supervisor, and was thrown out of his own theater. It was a fitting end to a disgraceful career. "I hear he went screaming as he swan dived into the tar pits."

Term of the Day: to Lady MacBeth someone

 to Lady MacBeth someone--to undo another person through plotting and personal attacks on their character.

Term of the Night: sled dog

sled dog--a stagehand who works furiously, without complaint or question. Will carry any heavy thing offered to him/her and does tasks quickly and well. See also: a working animal.

Term of the Day: work scared

work scared--when long-time stagehands at a venue fear for their jobs, and as a result are hostile to new or younger stagehands that come in.

Expression of the Day: stomping on thin ice

stomping on thin ice--when a stagehand is doing his/her best to destroy himself/herself. Possibility of building on previous self-destructive behaviors. "You are stomping on  thin ice. You've already gone in once. Do you want to go in again?"

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #49: "It's like eating dinner with a serial killer"

Stagehand #1: "Why aren't you friendly with that tech?"

Stagehand #2: "It's like eating dinner with a serial killer. Nothing good is going to come of it."

Expression of the Day: "That stagehand? Two stars on Yelp."

"That stagehand? Two stars on Yelp."--When you hire an inept stagehand, it would be great to warn other heads not to hire him/her. "In the crunch of the load-in season, I hired a TV commando in the second year of her card time, struggling to break into Broadway. With virtually no experience, she tried to order experienced stagehands around and threw a tantrum when 'wash up time' came around and she was still working. She was slow, had few skills and complained about the many stairs that our archaic Broadway theaters have. I would never hire her again. 'That stagehand? Two stars on Yelp.'"

Expression of the Night: "Hostile work environments are like toxic mold"

"Hostile work environments are like toxic mold, very hard to get rid of. Even when the heads change, the abusive environment and traditions in certain theaters remain."

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #48: "Get my name out of your fucking mouth"

Head #1: (Tantruming) "Get my name out of your fucking mouth."

Head #2: (Warm, sadistic smile) "Your shitty name stays in my mouth until hell freezes over."

Overheard Stagehand Line #48: "Her resume and skills don't match her ego"

 "That contract prop sub is unbearable. She's never done a show from scratch. Her resume and skills don't match her ego."

Term of the Day: to be Nerded

 to be Nerded--when a show closes during the load in, usually when an investor pulls out. The musical "Nerds" was loading into the Longacre Theatre in the spring of 2016, when a truck pulled up with a large scenic flat. The production manager or carpenter told the stagehands not to unload the scenery and the truck went back to the shop. The load in was over and the show was dead. A lead producer later admitted that financing was not complete, but they grabbed an empty Shubert house, which are hard to get during the spring theater season. The same producer said "Nerds" was postponed, but the show has never been seen again.

The most recent Nerding happened on February 7th, 2024, when the one-man show "My Son's a Queer, But What Can You Do?" a London hit, stopped work during spotting at the Lyceum. The stagehands in the theater then started the restore that same day.

Term of the Day: small ears

small ears--a child. When a visiting child is in the building, cut your language. Or if there are children in the show, be more careful. "Watch out, there are small ears in the basement. Stop cursing." 

Term of the Day: to dirty someone up

to dirty someone up--to savage a person's reputation, by telling stories that are real or fictional about them on the street.

Overheard Stagehand Line #47: "He knows everything...."

"That guy? He knows everything but the rules."

Overhead Stagehand Line #46: "intelligence is not a family trait"

"Watch that young head...though intelligence is not a family trait, he is cunning and deadly."

Term of the Night: the whole Megillah

  the whole Megillah--everything that is under consideration, all the work, or a long, complicated story with many moving parts. "I can't take next week's call. The carpenter is going to give me the whole load in, the whole Megillah." From the Hebrew for religious scrolls.

Term of Day: Slum-Dog Millionaire resume

Slum-Dog Millionaire resume--when you pick up survival skills from different odd jobs and bouncing around in the stage world, TV and industrial events. You may learn some carpentry, some electric and may know how to run crews. Despite a chaotic resume, you may be perfect for the job. From the movie "Slum-Dog Millionaire," about Bombay street kids.

Stagehand Glossary v. 20, updated January, 5, 2024

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