Expression of the Day: "no mopes, no shirks, no jerks"

 "no mopes, no shirks, no jerks"-- "My hiring philosophy is easy to remember--no mopes, no shirks, no jerks."

Expression of the Day: to-go bottle

to-go bottle--cheap bottle of liquor, often made of plastic, drunk by Bowery bums and hardcore rummies. "On opening night, the ingenue gave me a cheap plastic bottle of vodka as a gift, a seven-dollar bottle of Polish vodka. What was I supposed to do with a to-go bottle? Drink it on the subway going home?"

Expression of the Day: The circus is gone, but the clowns remain.

  The circus is gone, but the clowns remain.

Term of the Night: Theater of Second Chances

Theater of Second Chances--a  non-profit theater where the  heads are known to hire stagehands who have screwed up and have burned bridges elsewhere.

Term of the night: Theater of Lost Stagehands

  Theater of Lost Stagehands--music venue famed for hiring busted-valise stagehands.

Expression of the Day: a douchebag with a human face

 a douchebag with a human face--pleasant-seeming person who does horrible things behind your back.

Term of the Night: burned off like a cheap suit

burned off like a cheap suit: to be destroyed easily.  "As the load in went sideways, the contract carpenter's interpersonal skills burned off like a cheap suit."

Overheard Stagehand Line #33: "He never screwed me just for fun."

"That tech? He is the closest to honorable as techs get on Broadway. When I worked for him, he never screwed me just for fun."

Expression of the Day: to go local

to go local--to go on the Local or House payroll. "After years on being on contract on a long-running Broadway show,  the electrician got her Local #1 card and went local. She got a House job on the same Broadway show as a front light op." Contract salaries have not kept up with Local #1 pay raises over the last 25 years.

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #32: "business of personal?"

Young Stagehand: "When you threw that violent carpenter under the bus, was it business or personal?"

Older Stagehand: (taking a contemplative moment) "'Twas business and personal, the best of both worlds." 

Stagehand Dialogue #31: "...make sure he's dead..."

Young Stagehand: "When that tech dies, are you going to his wake?"

Old Stagehand: "Of course. I have to make sure he's dead." 

Stagehand Dialogue #30: "I'm still not gonna put you on my loadout"

Enthusiastic Stagehand: "Hi, how are you? I haven't seen you in a while. How's your family?"

Broadway Head: "Everyone's great. Thanks for asking. I am still not gonna put you on my loadout." 

Term of the Day: loading in sideways

loading in sideways--when the load-in of a show is already fucked up, with major technical issues and possibly financial ones. Does not bode well for a long run.

Term of the Day: "Do Not Work" list

"Do Not Work" list--Actor's Equity's "Do Not Work" list bans Equity members from working with certain producers nationwide. The corrupt Canadian producer Garth Drabinsky's Broadway comeback musical "Paradise Square" closed on July 17th. A few days before, Equity put Drabinsky on their "Do Not Work" list, effectively destroying any efforts by Drabinsky to come back to Broadway or even to produce in regional theaters. 

Like "Ragtime" in 1999, Drabinsky left financial ruin in his wake with "Paradise Square." Both Equity and  829, the scenic artists' local, are suing Drabinsky and his producers for $350,000 in unpaid benefits.  (This information comes from Playbill.com, July 14, 2022.)

During its brief run, "Paradise Square" was plagued by financial shenanigans. The shops wouldn't send spare parts because of nonpayment. In the Barrymore Theatre, Drabinsky had the unaffectionate nickname, "The Felon on the Square."

Term of the Day: Broadway Karen

Broadway Karen-- aggressive white woman on Broadway who uses an unstable personality and tears to get things to go her way.

Term of the Day: the teams have been picked

the teams have been picked--when your show closes after new productions have already assembled their crews. "The producers closed my show in August, right the before the fall load in season started. The techs and the GMs had hired their crews. All the teams had been picked. I was SOL."

Term of the Day: the Thief of Broadway

the Thief of Broadway--head known for sticky fingers during load outs. 

Term of the Day: Jersey Attitude

Jersey Attitude-- a stagehand with an aggressive, stubborn attitude.  "The contract propwoman was very difficult, so I hired a day worker with a Jersey Attitude, to make her life hell during production." A Jersey Attitude can be a very effective weapon.

Memorial Sandwich: RIP Ray Liotta

 RIP Ray Liotta--In 2004, the actor Ray Liotta was eating a sandwich offstage during rehearsals for a doomed straight play on Broadway. The infamous, crazy house prop woman, who I will call Sybill, verbally assaulted him, saying "Get your fucking sandwich off my stage." His co-star, the legendary Broadway actor Frank Langella, called the theater owners and said, "If I could not do my job tonight, there would be no show. She cannot do her job. Take care of her." Sybill was fired that night. She was handed her now-dated resignation letter. She had had an undated resignation letter in her work file after she had had a phantom on the payroll years before.

In the 15 years she was a house head, Sybill had an evil habit of torturing every contract person who came through her theater, while not working herself. She would attack and spread discord. The night she was fired, my phone blew up, with contract prop people calling in glee. Ding dong, the witch is dead. I hear she is still suing Local #1.

Ray Liotta died yesterday at the too young age of 67. He was famous for great menacing roles in "Goodfellas" and "Something Wild." Liotta was a great American actor of the menacing thug or gangster. RIP Ray Liotta, and thanks for getting rid of Sybill.

Term of the Day: white woman's tears

white woman's tears--the only tool used by a young, incompetent contract woman on a recently closed straight play on Broadway. "She doesn't have the skills to be a prop person, but she knows how to use white woman's tears when she gets backed into a corner. With all the Broadway lip service to diversity, the tears still work."  She's being mentored by the tech who dresses like an extra from "High Plains Drifter."

Expression of the Day: "If that shows goes under $200,000 again..."

"If that shows goes under $200,000 again, the theater owners are going to take it out to the alley and shoot it in the head."

Old Road Expression: "If you don't know who the asshole is..."

 "If you don't know who the asshole is, it's you!"

Term of the Day: a bridge too far

a bridge too far--an unreasonable request or expectation that can't be met. "Your request for the extra stagehand on the crew to cover the contract stagehand for his vacation is a bridge too far."  From the WWII movie about the disastrous Allied invasion of the Netherlands, at the Battle of Arnheim.

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #25: "He's called The Felon around The Square"

Stagehand #1: Where are you working now?

Stagehand #2: "I got on at 'Paradise Square.'"

Stagehand #1: "Do you know about the criminal record of the lead producer Garth Drabinsky?"

Stagehand #2: "He's called The Felon around The Square"

Term of the Day: Mirror Ball Man

Mirror Ball Man--a Broadway carpenter fired for a mirror ball that crashed to the deck. "Under his watch, the carpenter allowed a badly rigged mirror ball to be suspended above the deck. He was fired after it crashed to the stage. Mirror Ball Man wound up getting another job."

Term of the Day: out-assholing each other

out-assholing each other--when two stagehands ramp up attacks on each other. "At a job once, I was caught between a drunk and a dry drunk. They hated each other and spent all their time trying to out-asshole each other." 

Term of the Day: stage dooring

stage dooring--going to the stage door after shows to collect autographs and to interact with Broadway actors. Severely curtailed nowadays with COVID. "My uncle from Queens was very big into stage dooring. When we went to a show, we had to wait for autographs outside the stage door."

Term of the Day: on the bounce

on the bounce--when a stagehand works at multiple venues, not having a set home like a theater or a TV studio they work at regularly. Often referring to young stagehands. "After my show closed, I was on the bounce for several years, working between several theaters and CBS."

Term of the Day: salt, a salt

salt, a salt, to salt--a loyal union member who is placed on a job site that is trying to unionize, to act as as an agitator for unionization. "The new guy pushing for new members? He's a salt from the union." "The local salted the new venue with several articulate union members to convince non-union workers to sign cards."

Term of the Day: loading in poor

loading in poor--when the production is underfunded, from the beginning, they are cheap and try to cut corners. Usually results in a negative word of mouth on the street.

Expression of the Day: "Scott Rudin with a maple syrup flavor"

 "Scott Rudin with a maple syrup flavor"--Canadian ex-felon and producer Garth Drabinsky. After being indicted in 1999 for stock fraud and serving time in a Canadian prison and halfway house, Drabinsky is trying a Broadway comeback with "Paradise Square,"  which is loading in sideways at the Barrymore Theatre (February 2022). Drabinsky was called a "seductive and relentless psychopath" by the OnStage Blog. One of the leads in the Toronto production of "Phantom of the Opera" referred to him as "Scott Rudin with a maple syrup flavor," referencing the famously abusive and now disgraced American producer Scott Rudin.

Term of the Day: button

button--a musical theater term for the bump at the end of a song that lets you know it’s okay to applaud. Usually a light cue, linked to an instrumental bump.

Term of the Day: 90-day guy

90-day guy--stagehands who test positive and quarantine on Broadway are then given a card by the theater chains so they don't have to Covid test for the next 90 days, for they will likely test positive. They are able to work in the theaters.

Term of the Day: a rando

a rando--a random person, as a pejorative. A person from out of nowhere. "I can't understand the carpenter's hiring. He hires the best riggers on Broadway during load ins, but always throws a rando, like his barber's son, up on the rail with them."

Story of the Day: "Hell's Propman has finally retired..."

"Hell's Propman has finally retired, going back down to the fiery pits. I heard the company had to hire an exorcist to get the smell of sulfur out of the prop room."

Term of the Day: "can't quit you"

"can't quit you"--when a boss keeps hiring you. "That head, even when I screw up, keeps hiring me. He can't quit me." From "Brokeback Mountain," without the sexual connotation.

Term of the Day: to pop hot

to pop hot--to test positive for COVID-19 and to then be banned from working in the theaters or TV studios for 10 days.