Term of the Day: koo koo bird

koo koo bird--young, scattered actor or actress.

Tough Stagehand Line of the Day: "You can't break iron"

"You can't break iron"--When asked how he was recovering from an injury incurred when somebody pushed a roadbox on him, the stagehand, who survived the horrors of Vietnam combat, said with deadpan intensity, "You can't break iron."

Term of the Day: bust a move

bust a move--to start a project, to change a job. Or a dance move. "Break's over. Let us bust a move and store the dead orchestra seats."

Term of the Day: Broadway hungry

Broadway hungry--when a stagehand tries hard to get work on Broadway, after coming from the TV studios or the industrial world, where the pay is lower. "The former apprentice was Broadway hungry, trying to work in the theaters."

Unrewarding Jobs of the Moment: scut work, jobs

scut work, scut job--tedious, dirty work, often given to the youngest stagehand on the crew. "The young stagehand was given the scut job of cleaning old adhesive off the ramp with a heat gun and a spackle knife."

Important Term of the Day: my hook, hook

my hook, hook--the stagehand who pulls you into a job or  theater, often the head; a contact, a contact who gives you work. Can be used as a synonym for rabbi. "My first hook in the business was the elderly house propman at the Wintergarden." "I have no hooks at the St. James...I can't get you house seats."

Term of the Day: blow someone up

blow someone up--to attack another stagehand's reputation

Term of the Afternoon: Happy Valley

Happy Valley--theater or TV studio where the stagehands and actors, and even stage managers get along. The opposite of the places like the House of Hate. Can be sarcastic, as well.

Term of the Moment: cover the action

cover the action--for stagehands to break up the work, to cover a rehearsal (old gambling term where the bookie will cover the bets)

Term of the Day: Chekhov's gun

Chekhov's gun--a theory by the great Russian playwright that if a gun appears onstage in Act I, it will be used by the end of the show. "One must never place a loaded rifle on the stage if it isn't going to go off. It's wrong to make promises you don't mean to keep." Chekhov, letter to Aleksandr Semenovich Lazarev, 1 November 1889.

Term of the Day: "There's No Profit Like Non-Profit"

"There's No Profit Like Non-Profit"--this quote is attributed to Gerald Schoenfeld, the late and legendary head of the Shubert Organization, referring to the tax breaks that non-profit theater organizations get. I think of this for the recent purchase of the Little Helen Hayes Theatre on 44th Street, which has just been bought by the non-profit Second Stage Theatre, which has the theater on 43rd Street and 8th Avenue in the old bank and another very small theater on the Upper West Side. Second Stage will concentrate on modern American playwrights. May they have great success.

(Theater mavens should get the reference to the Ethel Merman showstopper in "Annie Get Your Gun" called "There's No Business Like Show Business.")

Term of the Day: Whack-a-Mole

Whack-a-Mole--during production, one you fix one problem, one or two more immediately pop up...it is like the old amusement park game Whack-a Mole.

Obscure Local #1 Geography: George M. Cohan's back pocket

George Cohan's back pocket--the uptown side of the planter surrounding the statue of the composer George M. Cohan on the island of Father Duffy Square, near 46th and Broadway...during industrial events on the island, bottled water is stored there for working stagehands. The island was named Father Duffy Square after the heroic World War I chaplain of the Fighting 69th (the Irish unit, with many recruited from Hell's Kitchen).

Term of the Day: "God's Gift to Modern Theater."

"God's gift to modern theater"--when a stagehand always has an uninformed answer on how to fix a problem or a stage manager will give hypersimplisitic instructions how to do the most basic task, you can take the measure of the man or woman by saying, "God's gift to modern theater."

Expression of the Day: "Hot soup, Hot soup!"

Hot soup, hot soup!"--when people refuse to move out of your way backstage when you are trying to get someplace quickly, calling out the old Chinese restaurant standby "Hot soup, Hot soup," may make them move.