Overheard Interdepartmental Dialogue #51: "I give you this gift"

STAGEHAND (WHOSE DRESSER WIFE IS LEAVING HIM): "You are leaving me and taking the baby???"

DRESSER: "Yes, now you can hang out with your stagehand drinking buddies and complain about your ex-wife. I give you this gift."

Overheard Stagehand Dialogue #50: "My wife doesn't even have my number"

ANNOYING STAGEHAND LOOKING FOR WORK (TO HEAD): "Here's my number. Can I get your's, so I can text you?"

HEAD: "Ooh, sorry, my wife doesn't even have my number."